Sunday, 31 March 2013

Pin It



Parasitic relationships,
I'll see you later in the day, i'm getting married now
Parasitic Relationship: Are you in one?

Relationships are meant to be mutual. The ideal relationship should benefit both parties involved in one way or the other, while some relationships are consensual  where only one party benefits and the other party is neither benefiting or losing, there are the parasitic relationships in which one party is benefitting at the expense of the other. Science tells us a lot about parasites and if we dare to look closely at a lot of relationships we would see  clearly defined traits in some parties  synonymous to parasites.
First science tells us there are two kinds of parasites, the macro parasites . Macro parasites live  different stages of their lives in different hosts. They come in, suck the host dry then move unto another stage of their life in another host who can support that next life stage. The same applies to some parasitic relationships , a party sees all the benefits they can derive from another party and then cozen them into a relationship. A typical example of this is recent case of an African Young Man that went out with a girl that paid his fees with the hope of getting married to him only to leave her after he graduated , a similar case is that of a  guy that goes out with a girl in school, so that he can get a place to keep his stuff and also get  free homemade food and immediately breaks off the relationship when he is out of school , to date another chick who can put a good word for him in the company she works.
Another kind of parasites are the micro parasites which can be transferred from one host to another through all forms of contact. The same applies to individuals who move from person to person within a short span of time hoping to get a better benefit than they are already getting from their present relationship. 
Parasites get into parasitic relationships with the hope of getting love, affection, attention, companionship, material things, money, social and economic benefits and career development without bringing anything to the relationship table and would only remain in that relationship as long as they continually receive those benefits or don’t find any better option that offers those same benefits. They may also leave the relationship as soon as they are no longer in need of the  benefits they were in the relationship for .

How do you know you are in a parasitic relationship?

Pin pointing a parasitic relationship requires the individual involved to first come to the knowledge and understanding of themselves, their goals, their dreams and wishes in life. If at any point in the relationship you feel you have to let go of your goals, your dreams in life in favour of the other person’s  goals and dreams then you are in a parasitic relationship. Worse still, is if you have to hang in your boots and divert all your energy into the other parties goals and wishes .

In a relationship, both parties are supposed to meet halfway over almost everything and anything, but if in a relationship, you discover that one party is only in it for the benefits that  they can get and is in most cases useless to the other party then that is a parasitic relationship. To bring it home, Lola says she realized she was in a parasitic relationship when she took a break from herself to analyse her relationship critically. She was providing her boyfriend shelter, love, care, affection, basic needs, cleaning his clothes and keeping his stuff and he was doing nothing for her. He couldn't even help run errands, fix things in the house they were both living in and couldn't even stick up for her in times when she needed him, like when she was sick and he was out all day, probably to avoid her. Most relationships out there today are basically parasitic . The disadvantage of being in a parasitic relationship is that it always ends with the parasitic partner leaving the host devoid of love , trust and self esteem. If you are in a relationship, list out all the benefits, you feel the other party is getting from being with you, and then list out all the benefits you are getting from the other party, if the ratio of benefits don’t fall among 30:70, 40:60……..70:30

You can use a black board instead of a paper

then you are in a parasitic relationship.  When such is discovered you should go ahead and communicate your findings to your partner  or eventually end the relationship  if no adjustment is made or in some cases improve on your weakness by finding new ways of affecting your partner positively if you are  the parasitic one.

Experts say the parasitic nature of humans can in fact be  traced down to their upbringing.They claim Individuals who grew up without any family responsibilities or parental supervision and direction may develop into  immature adults ,  never gaining a conscious awareness and understanding  of the needs of others. This also applies to individuals that had to live in a home or with a family where they were seen as an incidental member of the family  where the individual's individuality was dismissed . This environmental behavior promotes a lack of empathy in the adult and they may believe that people are sources of resources from which they are supposed to get from  rather than emotional beings that deserve time, love and support.

The parasite usually  evolves overtime to be an expert at using people around them, and then discarding them when they're usefulness has been depleted. Many people often hold on to parasitic relationships with the hope  of a future benefit  like marriage, future gratitude and homage. Most times these expectations fall short, because a parasite thinks only about himself or herself. When parasitic relationships are to be broken off, the parasite often times would go into survival mode cussing, and threatening with anger and betrayal if they don't  continue to get their benefits but in such situations you have to stand your ground and do not be moved. Parasitic relationships are not worth it , get out of it while you can.