Friday, 22 March 2013

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One of the worst things to ever happen to anyone is to be raped. It is rated so, because of all other things such as death of a loved one, accident and failure, it is one of the  few that is really very  difficult to get over. Rape victims are left emotionally and psychologically damaged,  months and indeed years after being physically assaulted.

Rape is an experience that should be missed in a lifetime but as we have come to know, more and more people are falling victim of rape .From lucretia a noblewoman in the ancient roman kingdom who committed suicide after she was raped to tamar in the bible who was raped by her own brother to thousands of young girls in South Africa, Sweden , United states , Congo etc. Rape is as old as time. The most common is male to female rape accounting for about 91% of reported cases, this is followed by male-male rape. A very small fraction accounts for female -male rape and the least common is the female -female rape. If you have ever been raped, here are specific steps to take  in getting over rape , in order  to get your life back. The most detailed  and encompassing definition so far is that given by the FBI of the united states which describes rape as  "The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."


1.Keep Calm: Once there is a penetration and you are obviously too powerless to stop the rapist, then stay calm to minimize your injuries, to minimize the pleasure of the rapist and to calculate.While you should not let a rapist ever get the chance to have a penetration, if such eventually happens, continuously struggling would increase your danger of being hit, or mutilated  In staying calm you might be able to reach out for a plank just waiting there for you to use in knocking the rapist out.

2.Leave a mark: Once penetration has occurred  you have been violated and justice must run it's full course, go ahead and leave a bite mark, a nose scratch, pull out some hair strands. Do this gently without giving the rapist the notion that you are resisting them. This would come in handy as a proof to nail the rapist someday.

3. Wail: Once you have been penetrated, don't let yourself run out of breath, you may seem quiet at first then wail and scream at intervals, interval screams have more effect in alerting attention than a continuous cry which  blends with all the environmental noises and becomes indistinguishable to the listener who is within the range of the rape.

AFTER THE RAPE: This is usually at the time when the rapist has climaxed or tires from the assault.

1. Run: Most of the time, there is a switch of emotions after an assault has taken place. Sometimes the rapist might realize the evil deed and then beg but in some cases, the rapist becomes way more aggressive. The aggression might be as a result of the disappointment in the pleasure expected from the act ,it might also be a form of self hate in which the rapist then blames the victim for their wrongdoing and most often than not, it is to cover up evidence. You have to run,because the worst might not be over. Some rapist have gone ahead to harm the victim with the intention of killing , just to  eradicate all forms of evidence that may be traced back to them.

2.See a doctor: A qualified doctor may be able to get samples to be used as evidence and also help with some contraceptives and antibiotics  Conceiving from a rape or contracting a venereal disease is the last thing any female  victim would want . Why most people advise to wash yourself off immediately, medical practitioners advise you see them first , without eating, drinking, washing, douching or even taking off the clothes in which you were raped . But in cases where there are no doctors to turn to ,  the levonorgestrel pills 1.5 mg, 1g of azithromycin against chlamydia, 400 mg Suprax against gonorrhea, and metronidazole 500 mg twice daily for seven days against trichomoniasis  should be used. You can show this to a pharmacist.

3. Realize the fact that it is not your fault: No matter what any one says to you , you were inappropriately dressed, you shouldn't have been drinking,etc. It is not your fault, there is no excuse good enough to rape another. No excuse at all. You have to constantly tell yourself this, because there are times you would feel like  things could have been different but it hasn't and there  is no use crying over split milk.

4. Plan for Healing: You have to understand that you have been violated and there is bound to be bouts of depression, anger , disgust, shame and pain. take each day at a time and let yourself heal, cry if you want to,but don't self destruct. It is not worth dying for. See it this way, your hurt would only empower the rapist. See it that you have to live, choose life. choose a brighter future. Live for yourself,don't die for the rapist.

5.Find someone to talk to: This is very important. If you are opportuned to speak with a counselor then do, if not speak with a friend , or a confidant.Do not speak to someone who may not believe you or broadcast your stories in a way you wouldn't like. If you have no one else to talk to , talk to elijahforce,send a mail, invite for a chat. Don't keep quiet. Talk

6. Write: if talking to someone about it is difficult then just write, write down your feelings and your determination to heal. Writing would help you release the pain.

7. Learn to protect yourself: Don't just think the deed is done, there are instances of repeat rapes , you have to learn to protect yourself from them. Especially if the rapist is someone who knows you and may be planning a come back. The chances of repeat rapes are about 25%, and if the first rape  hurt you , the 2nd time would totally tear you apart, rob you of all self esteem and self worth.

8. Heal: Start doing things you love again, don't live your life in pain and shame. The major way of doing this, is forgiving the rapist from your heart. This way your hurt reduces and the venom is released. Forgiving the rapist doesn't mean you should not report such person so that they can get the help that they need  or be punished duly for their terrible act.but forgiving is ensuring that the venom is out of you and your life is starts again.

9. Get even: This is a very controversial point. But in some cases it is advisable. The instances of rape would reduce if potential rapist knew that at least 4 in 5 of rape victims would strive back at a later time. it is often advised in environments and communities where rape is swept under the carpet. Getting even might be wrong and two wrongs never make a right. Also the chances of getting killed after being molested may increase if rapist knew most victims would strive back at a later date.

What ever you do, don't let an incidence in your past rob you of the great future ahead of you. Oprah Winfrey was raped at the age of 9, if she had given up on her life then, she would not be the success story that she is now. Heal, it's the best thing that can happen to you.
 Don't get yourself involved in binge drinking, drugs or become promiscuous because of this incidence, dust yourself up and begin a new day.