Saturday, 2 March 2013

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abusive relationship, getting over,
No it is not a lion, it's an abuser.

Abusive relationships are getting more rampant with each passing day. Here is how to get out of abusive relationships if you are in one already.

1.       Awareness: This is the first step in getting out of abusive relationships, being aware that you are in one. The constant denial would do you no good. You have to understand that it is not your fault; no one deserves to be abused for any reason whatsoever. You have an obligation to yourself to be truthful to yourself about the abuse in your relationship.
Read: Signs that you are in an abusive relationship
abusive relationship, getting over
Now you don't have to wait for this before you know
you are in an abusive relationship.
2.       Avoiding abuse Triggers: In your awareness, you should also identify the triggers that cause abuse and try as much as possible to avoid them while you can. You have to step up to the challenge without fear or agitation. Avoid the discussions that might result into assault or the behavior that triggers such abuse. This would help in saving you from all potential harm. However you should not let the abuse dampen your spirit or give you a troubled mind, because you would begin to transmit such negative energy which would be picked up by your abuser and then he or she would find new excuses or new reasons to abuse you apart from the ones you are already avoiding. Keep  your head high, radiate positive energy , love and care. Develop your mind, don’t lose yourself to self pity.
abusive relationship, getting over
get over self pity, and don't tell him you are not in the mood
that's going to earn you a slap.

3.       Seek a counselor:  There are times all efforts to avoid abuse would be futile. Seeking a counselor is a very good option. It doesn’t have to be a professional dressed in a suit and tie in an high end office. It could just be someone who is more matured and well grounded . Someone who knows a lot more about relationships. There are lots of regulated advice forums that you could join for advice. A counselor would be able to give you specific instructions as pertaining to your unique case of abuse in your relationship.
abusive relationship, getting over
Now you can't do this if he has prosthetic
limbs or a gun or both.
4.       Getting even:  Although, this is very controversial and a lot of people have argued that it may put you in more danger. Getting even is still advised in some cases. First you have to understand that you don’t have to be the devil or a monster because you are trying to defend yourself, but, most abusers are weaklings, trying to find validation by oppressing other people. Getting even might simply be reporting the abuser to specific authorities that would put him in check. There was a case of a woman who went to her husband’s place of work and reported him to his boss, who was a respected and disciplined person. The boss then, threatened the abuser of losing his job if he ever had such negative reports. Things changed after that. There are so many other more drastic getting even methods that we cannot put here but some worked tremendously. Getting even generally requires balls, which most abused victims lack in the first instance anyway.

abusive relationship, getting over
I am Escaping by rail from my high school lover
5.       Running away: This is the most commonly advised step of all steps to take in getting out of an abusive relationship. It involves secret planning, taking into consideration, expenses, how to cope with the future and how to move on and the fact that you might be constantly pursued by your abuser. This is usually much more difficult when children are involved. Even though you might live the rest of your life looking over your shoulders and in paranoia, it is better than having no shoulders anymore.
Some times you always feel like this, even though you are miles away
from your abuser.
6.       Learn your lessons: it is not just enough to deal with abusive relationships , you have to learn your lessons, and there is always something to learn from every situation. While it is mostly not the victim’s fault in cases of abuse, there are some ways in which the victim could have acted to prevent it. You also have to check that you are not in some kind of pattern in your family line or you are constantly attracted to the wrong kind of person. There are always lessons to learn in every situation, if you don’t learn anything in a poignant situation as abuse in relationship then it is probably going to happen again. 

Read: Dysfunctional Relationships: Learn About The Characteristics of Dysfunctional Relationships, Getting Out Of A Dysfunctional Relationship And What Exactly is a Healthy Relationship?