1.“An obnoxious, arrogant, self-centered male who women can't seem to get enough of”
2. “someone being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, or just a total dickhead”
My heart beats faster when he comes around, he always has this stories to tell of how, he doesn’t give a damn about what anyone thinks about him, I often listen and know that includes me, because if he really cared how I feel, he wouldn't act like I’m just another face on a body that he wants but what do I do, I’m in love with an asshole.
How did I ever get here, Straight A’s in school, suburban neighborhood, religious activities, dreams of changing the world and avid reader and subscriber of O magazine,only for me to fall in love with an asshole.
I was sitting in that chair , minding my own business and chit chatting with my friends when he walked in and headed my way, with an accent that I could only tell was faker that a Rolex watch with a second ticking hand, he immediately took over the conversation and so everyone had to listen to the crap he had to say because he had mastered the act of impression management or personal packaging as it’s often called to make an asshole like him look like a gentleman.
We immediately exchanged numbers and the dumb friends I had which I have now replaced where already looking forward to a Romeo and Juliet relationship, some of them already jealous I bagged an asshole.
My first mistake , I had dumb friends, my second mistake, my dumb friends and I were at the wrong place at the wrong time, wrong enough to fall in love with an asshole.
Hours past and I became idle, then my mind began to wonder to the thought of what had happened during the day and so I remembered, I met this guy and I have his number on my phone , so I sent him a text telling him, it was nice meeting him today and of course he replied,” same here”.
2 days later, got another text, this time it was requests, “ did I have this or that?”, it all sounded like I had found the right person who we could bond over similar interests and we unconsciously fixed a date. He said all the right things about himself, the struggle of life, the ups and the downs and his love for music, I was hooked immediately, he was the one India arie described, a man who loves music, a man who loves art, respects the spirit world and thinks with his heart and indeed I was ready to fall in love with an asshole.
My third mistake, I judged a book by it’s cover while being in the wrong place at the wrong time with my dumb friends.
Financial requests immediately followed the date, he was in a fix and there was no one to call because the world was full of people who could not help , who were mean and we were the only two angels in this world. All he needs in this life of sin, is me and I was so fast to jump at the offer of making myself a fool.
It made me feel wanted, needed and it showed I have a good heart as if I had something to prove, I was ready to deposit in his emotional bank account but I later found out, he had none .
My fourth mistake was diving into a book I judged by it’s cover in the wrong place at the wrong time with my dumb friends. I fell in love with an asshole and I didn't know it, until I realized that I wasn't the only one he was using.
The most important thing to him was how I made him look, how I fitted into his life, my functionality; he never messed with people he could get nothing from.
Then it hit me, Now I see that this is not a mutual relationship, this whole thing is taking my time, my care, my commitment, my energy , my money and I wasn't getting anything in return, so I decide to complain, and I am made to feel abnormal, unrealistic and a talkative because obviously I was in love with an asshole.
So I finally decide to give him some space and figure out what exactly I deserve but he doesn't even notice my distance. Now I’m here thinking about what he’s doing now, has he finished that job he was doing?, is he sleeping now?, or watching those lame anime or the NBA? or playing video games?, or is he stepping up his impression Management skill”?, then it hits me again, my fifth mistake is holding on to a book, I dived into based on it’s cover at the wrong place and time with my dumb friends. I want it to end , but i’m still in love with an asshole.
But i want my asshole to know
"that if a girl understands all your B.S, sticks through your mistake and smiles even when you've done nothing for her, it's obvious she's a keeper, it's also obvious, you don't deserve her".
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