March 2014 ~ ElijahForce

Friday, 21 March 2014

Jerks with Camera

Jerks on Camera
There is this Prank show on MTV, called Jerks with Camera, Hosted by a guy called Tone Bell (sounds like the name of a struggling underrated R&B Artist ) and featuring some very theatrical set of people. The show has full representation  of almost all the races in America with a black girl , two black dudes ,a Indian, a Latino , a Chinese girl , two white guys and a white chic. The premise is not very original or new, but the guys seem to get stuff by some very unsuspecting strollers in the streets of LA.

This guys come up with funny tricks to unsuspecting people (at least that’s the way it seems) and most times it’s usually very funny. The show is already 10 episodes in and that’s all this season has , 10 episodes
From disturbing people with leaf blowers, to getting into people’s private space, to accusing people of being baby daddies, to very offensive news reporting, the show seems to have it all.

From the show you can immediately tell the kind of people who walk the streets of LA, the guys are mostly uptight, obnoxious and rude with an occasional sweet angel in the mix. (Wow, ladies have a hard time in LA), and most of the  nice guys are usually either very young (with the exception of some black stoners in one of the episodes) or already taken ( with a chic in tow) or black (I didn't see that coming).

The girls are more cooperative and  having a sense of humor and homely of course with some exceptions in between.

From  the show you can also tell , that people naturally tend to give much more audience to a good looking person. All the jerks are good looking with Dante and Amir taking the lead with looks and Danielle having the body of a Victoria secret model, except the height though.  We often tend to automatically listen to good looking people, no wonder Hollywood has so many unrealistic standard for actresses and actors.

The show however had poor editing and sometimes seem chopped  with the pranksters reactions to events seeming mostly unrelated to the event in question. The dialogue also seems a bit off and forced like they are reading from a cue board and they now have to figure out how to make the lines funny. The killer line though is “when a white guy who normally dates white chicks suddenly dates a black chick, he is said to be having a #BlackOut ”
Justin Hires seems like the next  and maybe funnier Kevin Hart. He’s quite funny, acts well and is all up in his blackness. The trio, Dante, grant and Geoff usually come up with the best set of pranks overall  and Kara and Susanne
jerks with camera , elijahforce
always seem to give them a very fierce run for their money. They all have impressive comedic resumes and might move on to shooting sitcoms or having a greater stand up career.

This show brought in some good laughs every Thursday night as most of the so called comedic sitcoms and late night shows are just like watching paint dry, a show fest for celebrity worship.

Watch the first Episode Here 

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Foods that prevent being Horny

Foods that prevent being horny
foods that prevent being hornyBeing horny is natural but there are times when being sexually aroused might be totally unnecessary due to culture and environmental factors. The horny feeling is mainly due to blood flow to the genitals and other erotic regions of the body such as the nipples. Sex can only be initiated comfortably if both partaking parties are horny to a certain degree  except when one of the parties is being raped.  There are certain foods that might prevent you from being horny or in other words kill your sex  drive. This obviously can be advantageous  if you are beginning to have boners more often than usual. While it would be advisable to lay off foods that make you horny if you are on some kind of sex cleanse (whatever that is), you might also want to indulge in foods that would kill your sex drive (especially if you intend to be a monk or a catholic priest). 

What are the foods that would kill a boner?

1. Canned Foods.

Foods that prevent being horny
Anything that comes in a can is a boner killer, indulge in a lifestyle of canned foods and watch your sex drive disappear. The high levels of sodium and low potassium and a host of substandard  additives and preservatives for commercial purposes is responsible for this. The daily intake of sodium should be limited to 2000mg but most canned foods are usually upward of that when you consider the quantities taken in one meal.

                      FOODS THAT HELP YOU GET PREGNANT

2. Soy and Cheese
Foods that prevent being horny

One of the downsides of being a vegetarian is that soy and cheese becomes your major source of protein and your sex drive diminishes .  Cheese  gives the body xenoestrogen which results from the processing of cow milk with antibiotics and other agents while soy feeds the body with phytoestrogen which affects the hormonal balance in both men and women.

3. Carbonated drinks/Soda

This makes most sexy soda commercials ironic, because the product itself would  kill your sex drive. Apart from diabetes, weight problems and dehydration, you would also lose your sex drive.
Foods that prevent being horny
I squirt Coke from my tits

4. Artificial Sweeteners

Most artificial sweeteners contain aspartame which counters Serotonin levels in the body. Serotonin is often called the happy hormone which is responsible for  normal sexual behavior which includes the feeling of horniness. Once serotonin levels are down, everything goes down hill into the depth of anxiety , depression, demotivation, insomnia and of course low sex drive.

5. Alcohol and Coffee 

Alcohol in moderation can make you horny that is half a gram of alcohol per 2.2 pounds of body weight which transcends to  roughly about a can of beer, Anything above that would immediately start doing the opposite reducing testosterone production and preventing you from being horny. Coffee when taken in excess (more than a cup per day) would most likely affect the adrenal gland and leading to sexual imbalance and loss of sex drive.
Foods that prevent being horny

6. Crisps , Chips and oils

Highly oxidized vegetable oils such as canola oil as well as crisps and chips leave a lot of  free radicals in the body which would interface with sexual hormone and kill your sex drive. 
Foods that prevent being horny

Other foods that can prevent you from being  horny include licorice, granola, cornflakes, anything containing potassium nitrate and Monosodium glutamate.

Foods that prevent being horny
Okay, this has nothing to do with anti horny foods, this  man is gay.

Monday, 3 March 2014


uganda be kidding me
Okay, Uganda  has finally passed an anti gay law which is about the only thing that has kept Uganda in the news. Uganda had to do this immediately after Nigeria passed theirs, giving little time to see what would happen as regarding aids from the west being threatened.
Uganda  receives an  annual aid of $420 million which is now being threatened to be withdrawn. The president before signing the bill had found it difficult to convince the religious bodies to hold up on the  issue. This whole gay craze in central Africa is actually ludicrous because gays are a very distant minority who have already been driven to the ground by cultural and religious communities, but it is suddenly taking center stage amongst all the  important issues  and problems that pledge most predominantly black African countries. Problems like infrastructure, education, electric power and pollution.

 Uganda be kidding me because Uganda has 99 problems and gays are not one of them. Once caught or suspected in Uganda, you would most likely be attacked and   if eventually tried, sent to prison for 14 years and life imprisonment for repeat offenders. It is however not clear, if these homosexuals would be placed in same sex prisons or placed in opposite sex prisons, because the joke would be on Uganda, if two male homos are arrested and sent to jail in the same prison or to men who have been deprived conjugal visits for a very long time. #Orgies be going down in Uganda prisons.

The gay romance of African Leaders is however mostly linked to a plot to play on the religious sentiments of the people while diverting them from the immerse corruption and  wastefulness going on in the corridors of power in African countries. These laws would also lead to jungle justice which is also a major problem that no one seems to address in most African countries .

Just a day after the law was signed, 200 names were printed in a magazine called red pepper claiming all these people are gay. It is really ludicrous because it is quite  difficult to predict someone's  sexuality except you have been in bed with them. So the source of those names should also be questioned because it should take a gay to know one. But as we all know, take education away from people and give them religion and  throw a little bit of poverty in the mix and you would have taken all their power. 
You can say that the press is also trying to make some money out of the people  during this time by issuing out tabloid like stories , to boost sales.
Well, the effect of the draconian law as described by the west is already having effect on Uganda. A recent $90 million loan from the world bank has just been stalled. The world bank has said, the loans would be blocked. The loans were originally meant for the healthcare system. Norway and Denmark has also frozen their aids to Uganda due to the bill which also condemn blow jobs. The law has also affected Uganda currency as it dipped 2.9% within the first week.  While gays in Nigeria are not smiling, citizens in Uganda are yet to comprehend what just hit them, although some leaders still insist that the west can keep their aids. Uganda be kidding me.