I ALSO PREACH SAFE SEX.
NIGERIA, WEST AFRICA: It was a Saturday afternoon and
passengers had boarded the usually dirty and cranky commercial buses of Lagos. They
were obviously not expecting their journey to be marred by harsh words of
condemnation from a self acclaimed preacher. He had introduced himself
as a messenger of God and was beginning to deliver the message that he
was sent .
He started like every other preacher by saying a word of
prayer and saying statements like, “ may this message not stand against the
hearers on the judgement day”. In Lagos, some commercial buses carry the “ no
preaching” signs but this bus didn't . In a country where about 51% of the
population are practicing Christians, it wasn't uncommon to meet with bus
preachers .
He immediately warned that the world is about to come to an
end and that the present unrest in most areas of the world from earthquakes,
wars, suicide bombings, recession and corruption were all tell- tale signs that
the world as we know it was soon going to end. After the world ends, we would
either go to heaven or hell based on what we have done on earth. He went
further to warn that since the passengers were still alive, they had the choice
of changing their ways so that they could eventually make heaven and miss out
on hell where there would be fire and brimstone and gnashing of teeth.
He warned that those engaging in premarital sex or any sex
outside the walls of marriage were going
to go to hell. Those who spent time on their bodies as against spending time to
feed their mind and souls were going to watch those same bodies decay and
their souls burn in hell. The words were harsh, undiluted and indiscreet.
He went further to say that if you apply make ups products,
most of which puts the user under satanic influence, you would be a tool for
the devil and would eventually born with him in hell. He said ear piercing was
a sign of slavery and that wearing of trousers by women were not appropriate
and would only lead them to hell.
John Mbakogu was there, he was furious himself, he wasn't married and while he has not had sex in a very long time, he was a masturbation junkie, he had also engaged in premarital sex at one time in the
past.
The bus preacher was not to
be stopped or ignored. His voice was loud and clear, echoing all around
the about 60-seat bus which has even
been reworked to house more passengers. He then offered to lead the
passengers back to God , if they would surrender their lives to him and turn a new leaf. The guilt was contagious,
most of them were already filled with guilt and so offered to be prayed for and
led back to God.
He started praying and prancing along the aisle of the bus
while laying hands on people who had indicated interest in surrendering to the
Lord. While at it, he slipped, his bible fell and wolah, it was "spirit filled" condoms that fell out of the holy book. This made the passengers mad. In Lagos, condoms were mostly used by people engaging in premarital sex or extra
marital affairs, not even the family support program and ministry of health’s
campaign to ensure condoms are used by married folks to reduce unplanned
pregnancy, improve women’s health and help with child spacing could stop the
general perception that condoms were meant only for extra marital and
premarital sex.
On citing them, the passengers became enraged and
immediately pounced on the preacher, accusing him of deception and not
practicing what he preached.There is no law against people who practice hypocrisy
or public deception , so the irate passengers decided to take the law into
their own hands and beat the hell out of the preacher while in the bus. The bus
had to be stopped and the preacher hauled out, all this while screaming “
I ALSO PREACH SAFE SEX! I ALSO PREACH
SAFE SEX!”.
Law enforcement agents immediately came to his rescue to
avoid him being beaten to hell. They also seized the condoms to be used as exhibit.
In the words of the famous bus preacher,
no not the televangelist , the one that started his ministry in a commercial Lagos bus, I also preach safe sex.
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