Fathers' Day Gift Ideas

Father’s day is just around the corner and if you have a father, then you should do something about it. Even if your father is in jail , in the arms of another woman or on the streets slinging crack. It would be nice to do something nice, to show that you are a better person. For some, their fathers have been men who did not birth them but  have nurtured them to maturity. These men are  adopted fathers because indeed,that’s all that is needed in a father , not necessarily the seed. Here are father’s day gift ideas.

1. WARDROBE MAKEOVER:

He might need a new haircut too

  According to offer.com, this ranks as the highest father’s day gift idea based on what fathers’ were looking forward to receiving for father’s day. Who would have thought that dad is really looking forward to  new sets of underwears ,shirts , pants and a new tie? Socks, cufflinks , shoes and wrist watch should also be included in that list. If offer.com is right then, your father would appreciate this gift, especially if he has a corporate job or dresses like a gentleman. Keep the colours simple, white, blue , brown  shirts and black pants should do the trick. You might also want to get him boxers , so he can finally lay those old tired front fly briefs to rest.

2. TOOLS: 

If your father is a hands on person, then a new fancy set of tool box would be a perfect gift, if you actually get exactly what he needs, at the time. If your father has baby hands and can only open a door with it’s handle then, don’t waste a dime on this, he would most likely give It out.

Don't buy a screwdriver for this dad

3. ELECTRONICS AND COMPUTER GADGETS:

 A new flat screen television, an Ipad, an iPhone  or some other very cool Samsung  products would make a nice father’s day gift. You might also opt for apps that make life much easier like proshow web and ihandy level for tech savvy fathers and weber’s on the grill for dads that love to grill or better still, fitbit wireless device to get rid of that annoying beer belly of his.

4. PLAN A DINNER: 

Have a big dinner at your father’s house, have some of his friends and family come over and read father’s day poems that you must have copied from the internet while everyone is listening, talk about his strengths and God help you his weakness. Enough of that, it’s not his birthday anyway. If your dad smiles, he’s probably smiling cause he knows the site you copied the poems from. One more thing, if he has grand kids and they are a riot, keep them at home or leave them with the fat lady across your street. If the lady across your street is a blonde , sexy chic then you must be on a reality show.

The kids are safe with this lady.

5. PLAN A FAMILY OUTING: 

Go out, watch a soccer game, go to the indoor sport halls, play golf, play lawn tennis, play video games, pick games in which you can beat the shit out of him and say , "father, it’s so nice to play with you". If your dad is or was a pro- athlete or just athletic in nature and you are not, this might be a bad idea. Copy that jaden smith!.

6. AUTOMOBILE:

 Fathers love their cars, they like them classy, durable, strong and fast. If you can afford it, then why not, buy your father a good car. He would be so glad you did.

7. INTELLECTUAL  MATERIALS:

  A classical book like Tom Jones or health books like those that teach how to prevent aging and live right  or set of DVDs of classical movies is a very good father’s day gift.  If you are tempted to buy him a high brand of whiskey or some very strong wine, resist the temptation, go ahead and do so. This is one thing you are definitely going to get right.

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8. COSMETIC SURGERY: 

This sounds odd, but it’s not what you are thinking. Laser hair removal , if your father is a hairy mess or Hair transplant for baldness, Laser tattoo removal , if your father’s skull tattoo is beginning to embarrass everyone  and laser resurfacing should be the limit. If you want your father looking like bruce jenner, or wayne newton then you can also include a brow lift, nose job, skin bleaching, botox, lip injections, butt lift, liposuction, chest and abs implant and hair extensions. Your dad would thank you later, when he gets a reality show. On the other hand, you could get him a nice brand of cologne and skin care products designed for men  and some male genital freshening products.

This could be your dad

9. LETTER WRITING: Text messages, letter of gratitude and appreciation or even phone calls are one of the cheapest set of father’s day gifts , they cut to the chase and leave an impression. There are only four occasions where you should write a letter or send a text for father’s day.

1. You are broke and your dad lives miles away

2. Your dad is  in jail and you don’t want to go for visitations

3. Your dad is dead and so you would read the letter on his grave

4. Your letter would be so good, it would make front page on yahoo, reddit or funny or die.

10. FATHER’S DAY CRAP GIFTS :
 There are a lot of  items on the internet that you can buy at highly discounted prices if you know where to look, shirts that say "you are the best dad in the world", mugs, pens, balloons, alarms clocks, a whole lot. You would definitely find something that you can buy as a father’s day gift on online stores.

      

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Why People behave the way they do.

Why do people behave the way they do? Why won’t they?

The only thing that made sense to me was the music lesson after school. Music had been kicked out of the curriculum and moved to the period immediately after the closing school bell rings. The Music teacher, Frank, had started taking vocational studies during the school period. The humming and vocal ramblings always gave my memory the perfect blur and it made perfect sense to play the instruments the way you felt and listen to it produce the sound that it did.

Learning the guitar was far better than learning how molecules are formed or how a car functions, how to interchange between the accelerator and the brake without the car jerking, the guitar never jerked, it played several notes but never jerked. And when you pulled, it made good music or annoying noise.”

You had to fall in love with the melody of the song and play them like you wrote them. Pull the strings to play the root note of each chord, then pull the stings to play the first two then three notes of each scale.

But that is before you had learnt how to tune a guitar.

“why do people behave the way they do?”

“You sneaked out of the house with a boy? Papa yelled at Sharon

“So you know how old that boy is?” he didn’t wait for a reply.

“You are always acting like your deranged mother”,

 “That left you and your brother with me and left with another man”.

And he kept on pulling till the hair gave way and she cried loudly.

She wasn’t going to get attention anymore, the beauty left with each strand and this wasn’t the first time but, this was the beginning of a wrong pull.

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“David, your notes are not coming out clearly” Frank noted

“Check your hands, you are pulling wrongly”, he commented

“You wicked bastard!” Sharon yelled

“You wanna make me as miserable as you are”,

“Living in this dung hill, listening to your stupid ranting about how the government doesn’t care for you?”

“The government doesn’t care for you because you don’t care for the government”. She barked.

“And you know why mother left you, the same reason why I’m leaving you”.

“You are a fool!”.

He groaned loudly and made for her direction with his fist tied

But it stayed that way with blood gushing out of his left ear and his body still.

“why do people behave the way they do?

Sharon only comes home in the afternoon for a change of clothes and a decent bath.

She is always at the cheetahs on Western Avenue showing off her goodies.

 The gust and the charisma to do it she had gathered from the multiple hairs that had been pulled out of her head.

She was perfectly out of tune now as a man frantically pulled at her panties till it snapped.

“You idiot!” she muttered with a dry slap across his face.

And then his face changed, his smile disappeared like a lost tune and then he made for her.

But she had been pulled out of tune and it was not the alcohol. There was soon blood on the dance floor.

“Keep your hands on the strings” Frank told us

“If you pull the strings wrongly you are gonna get an awful sound”

“And we don’t wanna hear false tunes because one false note and the melody is gone. So pull gently and pull long.

Why do people behave the way they do? Why won’t they? Do we still need to wonder?

Further Reading:Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets to Human Behavior
 

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The Pregnant Woman and Her Husband's Questions.

 One of the most challenging time in a man's life is the period when his wife is pregnant . The pregnant woman and her husband's questions has been written to answer some of the questions mostly based on the search keywords by which our new visitors find us.

1. Should I accompany my wife to her prenatal sessions, considering the fact that I would rather be anywhere else than be there?

Yes!,  You put it there, so you have to do the work. Prenatal sessions would help you understand the pregnant woman, the pregnancy and the birth process and of course parenting. Nothing says support as much as going for prenatals together,except of course, back rub and doing the chores. Pre-natals would afford you the opportunity of videos  ( if you don't have youtube) and  materials on pregnancy and meeting with the doctor on any specific conditions or precautions to be taken by your partner during pregnancy.

Don't forget to smile and appear supportive.

2. Am I going to have sympathy pains during her pregnancy?

Yes, except, you are not the father. Experts call it, the covade syndrome, where a man or a boy suffers some symptoms for no reason other than the fact that he successfully knocked up someone and good enough there is no medical diagnosis or cure for it. Husbands of pregnant women would most likely suffer cramps, back pain, excessive food cravings, tooth ache, depression, excessive tiredness , mood swings and even morning sickness. So you can boldly call in sick , stating that you are suffering from what doctors  call covade syndrome and abbreviate it as C.V.S.

I'm having neck pain right now, i think my one night stand is pregnant.

RELATED POST: THE PREGNANT WOMAN AND HER HUSBAND

3. Should I be in the delivery room?

Well, can't really say. Depending on the country and hospital, there would be rules and regulations governing  whether the man should be there or not. In Africa, West Africa precisely, such practise is not common, in America, if you aren't there, where would you be?. In Asia, who cares, the world is already congested anyways. Apart from the fact that your wife might hold your hands so tight, you would scream like a girl, seeing the papaya blow up and a weird thing forcing it's way out of it accompanied by yells and screams after which a giant piece of flesh called the after birth follows is a complete anti aphrodisiac. If she is not opting for the natural birth, then why not, if she is, so what?

This can't be fun, when she gives you that " see what you've done to me " look.

Instead invite your friends over and make a short documentary or photo album.

4. Can we still have sex during pregnancy and how do you have sex with a pregnant woman?

Sex during pregnancy totally depends on the pregnant woman's sexual desires. During pregnancy the woman, especially in the first trimester would experience fatigue and nausea which may lower sexual desires and once she isn't tagging along, then no show. During the second trimester, blood supply to the pelvic area is increased and so intercourse might become very enjoyable. During the third semester, when the foetus descends to the pelvic area, the new pressure on that area may affect positioning or pleasure. The foetus is usually protected from all sexual activity by the amniotic fluid, uterus, muscle tissue etc, except the sexual activity involves fisting. Orgasms would be longer and more enjoyable but our paranoiac experts fear the orgasms might cause premature labour. A pregnant woman is also more susceptible to urinary and vaginal infections. The usual missionary position should be skipped until after pregnancy, spooning is the best position during pregnancy. But just in case the pregnant woman is a virgin and her name is Mary and yours is Joseph and you are both Israelites  then you should know this passage, "But they did not sleep together before her baby was born. Then Joseph named him Jesus."  Matt 1:25........ Do likewise!.

Sorry, this is how far she can go.

The pregnant woman and her husband's questions are endless but the above four rank the highest. All other questions are answered in the  book How to Make a Pregnant Woman Happy
 

RELATED POST:  THE PREGNANT WOMAN AND HER HUSBAND'S CHORES

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JOB OFFER QUESTIONS

JOB OFFER QUESTIONS.

Every now and then, a job offer comes one's way but it's usually preceded by some tough questions. The answers to these job offer questions would further determine if the job would be given or the interviewee would be shown the door. The following job offer questions are usually common in interviews and each of these questions are followed by guidelines to providing the best answers.

1. Tell us about yourself.

To answer this question,keep it short and precise. Start with your name, your objective and drive, your education and your relevant work experience. Ensure that all you say correlates with what you have written on the resume.

2. What do you know about our company?

To answer this job offer questions, you need to have done your research in terms of the mission and vision of the company, the products and services they offer, their brand, reputation and image and also a little bit of their competitor’s.In answering this job offer questions, you should keep the name of the company in your answer. “Thanks for that question, ABC company prides itself amongst the leading providers of XYZ nationwide, it has a yearly revenue of CDE with investments in FGH. To answer this question correctly you would need to have done your homework on the company.

3. Why do you want to work with us?

 In answering these question you need to leave out all the benefits you hope to get from the company, because the benefits would be as a result of what you can do for the company. You should instead talk about the needs of the company and how you are equipped to fill it. For big companies in which you might not really make much impact maybe as an entry level trainee, you would have to talk about the need of the company in building a team of hard working , dedicated and motivational people which you are one. “ ERF is in constant need of a proactive and high flyer at all areas of it’s business to forge ahead, I believe I am able to satisfy that skill based on my skills and talents", Also you might also say things that the company is involved in and supports and let them know you want to be a part of a company that carries out such social responsibility because you have a passion for such .

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4. So why should we hire you?

Here, you have to answer this job offer questions based on the highlights of your resume without appearing egotistic . I believe you should hire me because of my track record of success, my leadership experience and my touch of excellence and ability of getting things done. In whatever you say, you must ensure that your answers with this job offer questions aligns with the requirements of the job that was stated in the job opening. If you can quote what the job opening says while stating that you have those qualities is a plus. Let your ability, experience and energy show forth.

5. What do you think a [position you are being interviewed for] really is?

For this job offer question you still need to fall back on the requirements stated in the advert of the position, It would really come in handy because your idea of that position might be different from the company’s idea of that same position.

6. How long do you think it would take you to settle down and how long would you be with us.

Your settling down period should be as short as possible, immediately would be the best answer here and letting the company know that you would continually be with them as long as there are new hurdles to climb, and new challenges.

7. What pay are you expecting ?

For this question you have to have also done your research about how much they pay for that position, it’s always good to state an amount close to what they pay, not too high or too low.  Here are the 7  most common job offer questions.

For a longer list of 25 job offer questions click here.
For a list of 202 job offer questions and their answers click here

JOB OFFER: QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR EMPLOYER

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LETTER TO MY UNBORN CHILD (BY AN AFRICAN MAN)

My child,

Its just over 31 months since walking down the aisle with your mom, reciting our vows before God and Man. Since then we've been waiting patiently for you. Sometimes we wonder what's taking you so long, we then conclude that it's probably because you are a very special child. We know deep down in our hearts that your arrival is closer than we think but you don't have to  keep us waiting anymore.

We've had our fair share of  " being on the safer side" in making your coming unhindered and quick. I have been  tested on several occasions with a clean sheet,having millions of you inside me. Mummy has been  tested too and she has no cysts, no fibroids and what not. And we have sown seeds financially and otherwise investing in other children while following a  plethora of advice on what and what not's. We have not allowed our expectations to metamorphose into anxiety… yet we still await your arrival.

 Mummy needs you! Daddy needs you! Everyone needs you! There is just something about the African culture and the African woman that has made having you a certificate of completeness. You are the very person she needs right now. She has God, she has me, but she needs you to balance the equation. She has heard how discomfiting pregnancy can be... and how  painful a natural birth is. but I can tell you that she is ready to go through all of that and more just to have you. 

Mummy G , who you would eventually know as your aunty,that has a 3yr-old and a 2yr-old just gave birth another 2 months ago. Mummy T, another one of them, that has a 2yr+ old is already carrying another. These people live in the same compound with  your mummy. In fact, your uncle and aunty that married after your mummy and daddy already hold their children in their hands. 

Granddaddy and Grandmummy are not putting mummy under pressure. They call her from time to time to encourage her to be patient. My siblings and hers do the same too. But little by little, mummy is beginning to put herself under pressure. I am doing everything I can to help her, but I need you to help me.

 I want you with the last drop of my blood. I love you so much my heart literally aches sometimes. Children’s day was celebrated yesterday in church and it was beautiful. My eyes were flooded with tears to see so many lovely children showcasing their talents. I know that if you were here, you would have been one of the best! Anyway, I bought some gifts for children that are needy on your behalf; so know that your name is already recorded in church! 

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 If you were here, I would have taken you to Inspiration FM’s Children Day’s Carnival at Dreamworld Africana. We would have had many lovely rides and yummy ice cream together, and I would have been overwhelmed just to hear you laugh. Nothing can describe how I would feel just to hold you in my arms knowing that you are my seed turned to  flesh.

Please do not heed all the bad news on the airwaves and think the world is a bad place. Do not listen to statistics that show that Africa is uninhabitable. We have sworn to do all we can to make the world a beautiful place for you. You will meet many challenges, but most importantly, you would have been prepared to overcome them.

I have to stop now because i'm in the office and my eyes are teary again. I can't afford crying in the workplace,  but i'm not ashamed to cry if it will make you come quickly. I know that we will surmount any mountain to finally have you in our arms… it’s just that waiting can be so hard sometimes. 

We love you as no other human can ever and will ever do.

From the best Dad you could ever have,

Further Reading:Rules for My Unborn Son

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MASTURBATION SIDE EFFECTS

Masturbation, a topic most people often shy away from, but are secretly enjoying behind close doors also like every other thing on the planet comes with it’s share of negative side effects. Okay , this is not some hypocritical gibberish or masturbation side effects drafted by anti-masturbators . Yes!, experts have said masturbation boasts your immune system, increases  endorphin production which gives a feeling of well being by reducing stress anxiety and headaches, prevents prostate cancer, leads to harder erections, and longer duration. Yet, it still comes with some negative side effects, not like the one from diuretics or any drugs with a long list on the back of the label.

Now, here is a time to get your palms out and give a "manual reset" on the cheek of anyone who tells you , masturbation  side effects includes blindness, hairy palms, madness, death, acne ,psychosis , epilepsy or impotence because it doesn't and never will. However there are still some  masturbation side effects that you should take note of.

  1    Asshole syndrome: 

       Well, you should know masturbation is highly addictive. Most people don’t think so until they try to stop.  This addiction, apart from wasting your precious time which could have been spent in developing an application that would stop people from eating and thereby eliminate world hunger  might lead to the over production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters . This over production puts you in a constant sex mode which is synonymous to your brain running a hundred programs at the same time leading to the loss of mental clarity or as it’s otherwise known, becoming an asshole. A lot of people react to this over production in different ways, while some become socially withdrawn others just suffer from fatigue, pelvic pain, vision changes, lower back pain or testicular pain and others just watch their penises darken with every stroke and yet still others report shrinkage in the male genital size due to masturbation.

 RELATED POST: MALE GENITAL ODOR DUE TO MASTURBATION 

2.       Environmental Factors: 

     There is still so much guilt associated with masturbation even by the compulsive masturbator, it is something that has been ingrained in the human mentality and made to thrive by religious and cultural belief.These guilts even though wouldn’t help in curbing the habit but rather delving into it the more also leads to guilt inspired depression as a masturbation side effect in the masturbator. Depression would really screw up your life and the worst part of it is that,  doctors won't easily track down  your cause of depression to masturbation guilt but would give you drugs that would keep you battling with side effects , years after. If you notice constant depression , try stopping masturbation for 60 days with increased water intake, before going on webMD, seeing the doctor. One study suggested that vaginal absorption of semen could act as an antidepressant. This conclusion was drawn from two sets of women ,one group used condoms and the other group didn't.

3.       Accidents:

      Accidents as a result of masturbation are not only painful but also very embarrassing. Landing in the ER to get a kitchen spoon out of your butt or putting your junk in bandage might actually be a life scarring event. Masturbation especially when over done can lead to wounds and bruises especially when lube is not used or water and some harsh soaps are used in place of lube. This can lead to nerve damage or tears which would reduce the pleasurable sensation on the genitals.These wounds go a long way in affecting the patient’s self esteem and expression of sexuality. A 16 year old boy reportedly lost his life after masturbating 42 times in a day.

Shit! I just broke my balls.

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4.       Difficulty in climaxing:      

     Due to the male genital being an organ that is sensitive to touch,  the organ might learn and get used to the feel of the palm which is kind of different from that of the inner walls of the vagina or in some very nasty cases walls  of the rectum.  This might prevent climaxing during intercourse, the rigorousness of the hand action to lead to climax might also be unmatchable during intercourse and this can cause severe relationship problems.  

These few  masturbation side effects  can go a long way in resetting a man  and a decision to live without it may help release a lot of useful energy that have been otherwise lost according to a noFap group on the internet, that helps young men or women  live without masturbation and subsequently masturbation side effects. 

RELATED POST: DOES MASTURBATION CAUSE ACNE AND PIMPLES?

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MALE GENITAL ODOR DUE TO MASTURBATION

Masturbation, the act of touching oneself to produce a favourable feeling in the groin area ,usually accompanied by some  sort of mental, visual or audio stimulation to assist in reaching climax can most times cause male genital odor or penis smell.

When masturbation is not followed by showering and  cleaning of the genital area with appropriate dude wipes, semen  or pre-ejaculate would be left on the male genital  and would lead to male genital odor or penis smell due to the breaking down of sugar such as glucose and fructose which are about 102mg per 100mL and 27.6mg per 100mL in a sample of semen.

The penis smell would last for a full day until the sugar is done breaking down, a quick washing preferably with a male genital wash as against toilet soaps would do the trick of eliminating male genital odor.

Semen itself can sometimes have a bleachy smell because it is alkaline to protect the  sperm from the normally acidic environment of the vagina.  

Semen smell can also be influenced  by certain food intakes like broccoli , asparagus  , coffee and other pungent foods.

Masturbation especially when uncircumcised would liberate smegma by the motion  of the foreskin across the glans of the penis during the exertion of masturbation.

RELATED POSTS: MALE GENITAL ODOR ELIMINATION | MALE GENITAL ODOR DUE TO YEAST INFECTION.

Male genital odor can also be due to the nature of lubricants or lube used in masturbation. 

The use of saliva as a lube would definitely produce smell especially when the mouth is not well brushed or the use of saliva after eating pungent smelling foods.

When male genital odor is due to masturbation, it is advisable to step up personal hygiene and to take all the fap to the shower and immediately clean the male genital. 

Having sex also has the same effect, it is therefore advisable to shower immediately after any sexual activity  to avoid male genital odor caused by left over semen, pre-ejaculate, natural  body oils and bacteria ( which  can be cured by antibiotics).

 Showering can be done with

Wiping the glans of the penis even after urinating to prevent the drip of urine on the male genital would also prevent male genital odor caused by urine leftovers or stains. 

Urine on the  genitals also smells the same way semen or pre ejaculate does.

Most times when a man gets excited , his penis releases a little pre-ejaculate and even if  he doesn't masturbate , the pre-ejaculate still stays on the genital area and breaks down to cause male genital odor. The same applies to little drops of urine . It is also advisable to use lubes  instead of soaps, saliva or water in masturbation.


RELATED POST: DOES MASTURBATION CAUSE PIMPLES AND ACNE?

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IN LOVE WITH AN ASSHOLE

Asshole

1.“An obnoxious, arrogant, self-centered male who women can't seem to get enough of”

2. “someone being arrogant, rude, obnoxious, or just a total dickhead”

Urban dictionary.

My heart beats faster when he comes around, he always has this stories to tell of how, he doesn’t give a damn about what anyone thinks about him, I often listen and know that includes me, because if he really cared how I feel, he wouldn't act like I’m just another  face on a body that he wants but what do I do, I’m in love with an asshole.

How did I ever get here, Straight A’s in school, suburban neighborhood, religious activities, dreams of changing the world and avid reader and subscriber of O magazine,only for me to fall in love with an asshole.

I was sitting in that chair , minding my own business and chit chatting with my friends when he walked in and headed my way, with an accent that I could only tell was faker that a Rolex watch with a second ticking  hand, he immediately took over the conversation and so everyone had to listen to the crap he had to say because he had mastered the act of impression management or personal packaging as it’s often called to make an asshole like him look like a gentleman. 

We immediately exchanged numbers and the dumb friends I had which I have now replaced where already looking forward to a Romeo and Juliet relationship, some  of them already jealous I bagged an asshole.

 My first mistake , I had dumb friends, my second mistake, my dumb friends and I were at the wrong place at the wrong time, wrong enough to fall in love with an asshole.

Hours past and I became idle, then my mind began to wonder to the thought of what had happened during the day and so I remembered, I met this guy and I have his number on my phone , so I sent him a text telling him, it was nice meeting him today and of course he replied,” same here”. 

 2 days later, got another text, this time it was requests, “ did I have this or that?”, it all sounded like I had found the right person who we could bond over similar interests and we unconsciously fixed a date. He said all the right things about himself, the struggle of life, the ups and the downs and his love for music, I was hooked immediately, he was the one India arie described, a man who loves music, a man who loves art, respects the spirit world and thinks with his heart and indeed I was ready to fall in love with an asshole. 

My third mistake, I judged a book by it’s cover while being in the wrong place at the wrong time with my dumb friends.

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Financial requests immediately followed the date, he was in a fix and there was no one to call because the world was full of people who could not help , who were mean and we were the only two angels in this world. All he needs in this life of sin, is me and I was so fast to jump at the offer of making myself a fool. 

It made me feel wanted, needed and it showed I have a good heart as if I had something to prove, I was ready to deposit in his emotional bank account but I later found out, he had none . 

My fourth mistake was diving into a book I judged by it’s cover in the wrong place at the wrong time with my dumb friends. I fell in love with an asshole and I didn't know it, until I realized that I wasn't the only one he was using. 

The most important thing to him was how I made him look, how I fitted into his life, my functionality; he never messed with people he could get nothing from.

Then it hit me, Now I see that this is not a mutual relationship, this whole thing is taking my time, my care, my commitment, my energy , my money and I wasn't getting anything in return, so I decide to complain, and I am made to feel abnormal, unrealistic and a talkative because obviously I was in love with an asshole. 

So I finally decide to give him some space and figure out what exactly I deserve but he doesn't even notice my distance. Now I’m here thinking about what he’s doing now, has he finished that job he was doing?, is he sleeping now?, or watching those lame anime or the NBA? or playing video games?, or is he stepping up his impression Management skill”?, then it hits me again, my fifth mistake is holding on to a book, I dived into based on it’s cover at the wrong place and time with my dumb friends. I want it to end , but i’m still in love with an asshole.

But i want my asshole to know 

"that if a girl understands all your B.S, sticks through your mistake and smiles even when you've done nothing for her, it's obvious she's a keeper, it's also obvious, you don't deserve her".

You asshole.

RELATED POST: IN LOVE WITH AN ANGEL

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ADDICTED TO PORN AND LOVING IT.

Just so we’re clear, I’m not  addicted to porn nor am I a porn addict. I have the whole of the American psychiatric association backing me up on this, "porn addiction doesn't exist  but the heavy use of porn." They also happen to be the association that deals with people with chemical imbalance in the brain. Why would I say I’m not addicted to porn, when I spend quality time viewing porn daily, I have porntime which is immediately after lunchtime on weekends and before prayertime on weekdays. I am not Addicted to Porn because  everyday  I tell myself I can quit it if I really wanted to.   

It starts with the lure of visual stimulation or as pornharms.com  would call it, "the morality in all form of media" but  how can you pass over a girl taking off her underwear for no reason and revealing intimate parts of herself, you can literally see her ovaries. Of course, I can’t be addicted to porn because I never fail to judge them and imagine what kind of lives they have lived previously that had made them embrace the decision to engage in porn.

Porn becomes  a necessity for me when I feel the need to  stop my brain from thinking . I have the attention span of a jelly fish, so my brain gets worked up a lot, but porn much more that television or alcohol completely numbs my brain , the exact medication I need.  Okay, maybe there are indeed people addicted to porn but according  to research, these people must have had childhood trauma, anxiety , depression , personality disorder or social phobia. The only childhood trauma I had was that my parents loved and cared for me too much , somedays  I wanted to  poke my eyeballs with bicycles spokes and I was constantly falling into depression because I had everything I needed and was raised to be successful and hardworking and I was so social phobic that I always went out of  the house that built me to look for friends . All the reasons why I know I ‘m not addicted to porn.

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The inability to find a real life partner, sexual boredom in my relationships and the shame of sexual difficulties like male genital odor may have led me to becoming addicted to porn, but I would have to suffer from those issues to start with.

This is not a knee jerk reaction to the accusation of being addicted to porn when I was made to realize that I have paid for internet porn and found myself viewing porn at a funeral or skipped work in general just to enjoy some more porn time and no longer see the need to hide my porn from friends. No!

No, i'm not watching porn, it's just an online relationship
guide.

And porn is not my way of acting out any suppressed fantasy or fetish or my crack cocaine to sex addiction. I’m just one of the 20 Million internet heavy porn users in the U.S alone.

Okay, porn is needed for beating off  even though  I suddenly lose interest in the material after waxing the brass candle stick, but since porn leads to masturbation , the desire to jerk off also  leads to the hunt for porn.That is why, it is often said that the way to lose interest in porn is by seizing to masturbate to it. The hunt involving scanning through tons of sleazy stuff to find that right material that can make you ride the quarter horse,  the hunt takes more time everytime because repeat actions are not pleasant  and a higher stimulation or dose is needed to join the mile high club and then the cycle  continues . 

My wang would have to take out a restraining order on my hand.

When I track the amount of time used in waxing the brass candlestick,Megabytes spent on traffic junky and relationship strains it has caused, I pick interest in harm reduction approach but immediately dismiss it because I am not addicted to porn. When I am ready I would get a blocking software, train my mind not to act on compulsion and relapse wouldn’t be an option because that’s only for those addicted to porn and loathing it.

RELATED POST: PORN STAR FINDS GOD

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