Monday, 8 April 2013

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letter to former selfA Letter To My Former Self
In the words of Eric Cantona, “he who has regrets cannot look at himself in the mirror”. Today when I look into the mirror, I see someone else , someone that you would become ,living a life, retracing your steps. Your absurdity is quite laughable, your recklessness unimaginable, taking a decision as vital as your life career to the betting table,  altering  the course of your career, your life.
Life may not give you second chances and yet you are giving away the opportunity that  it has generously tossed at you. You are a bright student and you know it . Good grades, good co-curricular activities, active participation, the perfect high school dream.
Yet, you are following the band wagon in taking the pivotal decision of the stream you must choose, Engineering!. What is that lump in your throat, that voice in your head screaming not to take the plunge?; it’s saying you will never be happy working with java, diodes, transistors and what not. But you seem to be taking it all as a basket case,  barking the wrong tree, following the rollercoaster of  peers opting for the same. It seems friendship is the only flower that you must attend to,  engineering is the only way out and today  I stand in front of my mirror and laugh at you, I’m laughing so hard my chest hurts, you are wrong in so many ways.
In a few years, the scales would fall from your eyes when you push yourself to the brink of devastation. When you toil for four long years in engineering college.  You would suddenly know without any doubt that you were meant to be an arts’ student. The love for literature, historical romances, the characters in Shakespearian plays that once tugged to the chords of your  heart would begin to haunt you because , you turned a deaf ear to all of it as you crush your interests in the grilling engineering college chasing pavements while falling under the burden of one lecture above the other.
The years would keep rolling in their tormenting speed. Being the bright student that you are, you would manage to get good grades. You would  even land a job but even then you would loathe yourself  for taking this decision ..
Some day you would work in one of the largest  IT companies in this country and you would still be  brimming with regret. Your  first pay check, would be a slap on your face. You would think you would  feel elated and the regrets would disappear but that  day you would be blown off your trolley, your dreams and perceptions shattered; You would feel  nothing more than a twinge of remorse and  regret at living a life which you do not cherish.
Yes that  one decision of yours would deprive you  the pleasure of having your first pay check.
 It would rob you of the motivation to get up from your  bed daily, and there would be that feeling  like something in your  life is missing .
Amidst such pangs of depression, I took a leap of faith. I started writing as it helped me air my thoughts and gave words to my feelings. It did not take me long to realize that this was the field I was passionate about. I started spending more time on it, and came up with this idea of writing you.
I chose not only to write you but also to write  my future self. My future self ,devoid of the big mountain of regret. I put in a lot of work, started from the scratch and got myself listed as a  writer , an established freelance writer. blossoming everyday . I now take online classes on philosophy and pursue my dreams in literature.
My future self would look back at me and write me a letter , thanking me for the courage to begin again, to take responsibility for my own life, to rewrite my wrongs  and most of all for letting you know that the effects of your childish decisions are over, starting from today.
Further Reading:Choosing Your Career