Friday, 3 May 2013

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Pregnancy is a very delicate Period of a woman’s life and her husband has a lot of chores to handle while she stays pregnant.  Here are a few chores that should be handled by her husband ,not just because handling these chores might harm the pregnant woman but also because it’s kind of your “reward “ for knocking a woman who was on her way to head wall street only for her to now watch her body disfigure while she has less amount of energy to even get out of bed on some days.

1. CHORES THAT INVOLVE CLIMBING: The pregnant woman and her husband should know that all chores or activities that involve hopping on a stool or table to fix something should be totally avoided for a pregnant woman. Hanging curtains, cleaning ceiling fans, brushing the ceiling , getting rid of cobwebs or climbing on a stool to hide a stack of stolen cash behind the portmanteau that contains plumbing equipment is not advisable. During pregnancy, with the increased growth of the woman’s mid section comes a change in the center of gravity which makes them more vulnerable to falls.
Pregnant women, pregnant woman and her husband
This is not a chore and if you can do it then why not?
2. CHORES THAT INVOLVE CHEMICAL USE:  The pregnant woman and her husband need to note that the woman must lay off activities that brings her in contact with harsh chemicals. As a man once recalled, “ my wife’s skin was hypersensitive to soap products, she couldn’t wash dishes, clothes or even clean the tables without getting water boils”. From as little as  everyday soap products to harsh chemicals used for cloth and bathroom bleaching and cleaning up after pets, chemicals should be avoided as most of them have noxious fumes. Once they smell harsh, then they shouldn’t be used by the pregnant woman but her husband instead. Natural cleaning products like lemon, white vinegar and baking soda should be used .Using gloves when washing would also help protect the sensitive skin. Cleaning up after cats  also might expose the pregnant woman to toxoplamosis, a parasitic infection transmitted via cat feces  This explains why cats are mostly kept by lonely woman who never hope to get pregnant. Get rid of that creepy cat, you’re about to have a family now. The cat’s work is done.(Sorry, Ellen!)
Pregnant women, pregnant woman and her husband
That cat would make you birth a monster

3. CHORES THAT INVOLVE HEAVY LIFTING: Any chore that involves heavy lifting like furniture rearrangement, picking up other children or weight lifting at the Olympics should be done by her husband. The pregnant woman and her husband needs to come to an agreement on how he is going to break his back lifting heavy materials around the house or If he is wise enough use a lever. The increased weight of pregnancy would cause a pull on the spine and would make the pregnant woman susceptible to back pain , heavy lifting would accentuate the back pain and make it chronic. Putting heavy materials on the head also counts as heavy lifting and would also affect the back.
Pregnant women, pregnant woman and her husband
The Husband should do this.
4. CHORES THAT INVOLVE BENDING : Gardening especially should be avoided by a pregnant woman and should be taken up by her husband. Chores that would leave the pregnant woman bent for long hours would lead to miscarriage, premature birth, preterm labour symptoms, placenta previa or more dangerous complications to the pregnancy and the pregnant woman. The pregnant woman and her husband must make an arrangement for him to take up chores that would lead to bending. Bending can cause the inflammation of the sciatic nerve which runs from the lower back to the entire leg. The weight gain in pregnancy already puts a lot of pressure on the nerve, bending it would literally snap it.

5. CHORES THAT PUTS THE WOMAN AT RISK: Any chore that might lead to a direct kick or blow on the stomach should be avoided. Working with animals, in the factories during the third trimester of the pregnancy  when the stomach has taken on a pear shape is totally inadvisable  The pregnant woman and her husband should  make an arrangement on how to help the woman get past these sort of chores.\
Most of the chores at home or in the office fall into one of these categories, so this is in a way telling the pregnant woman to do nothing, take a stroll from time to time, read what to expect when your expecting, take phone calls, take evening naps, read blogs, have a baby shower, see your doctor, go for pre-natal treatments and indulge in all your food cravings, eat anything and everything, except alcohol, tobacco, sea fish and whatever your doctor tells you not to and let the husband do the chores.
If you think this article is targeted at the husband as a form of punishment for  knocking up a woman, you  may not be wrong.If you think that  this is unfair then consult the man who made the empathy belly and see how it goes from there.
Pregnant women, pregnant woman and her husband
You can have fun with him, if he is a good sport,
Pregnant women, pregnant woman and her husband
Or go out and play with some new toys. Screw Gun Control