LIES ABOUT SEX

Lies about sex

  

Lies about sex  
We live in a world of decaying morals and often times people always invent lies to give themselves a little more reason to continue in their perverse ways , here are a few of them;

LIE 1

A young man needs to have experience for him to satisfy his future wife:

This is so false, sexual satisfaction to women is like a  DNA, it is unique to every woman, what is good for one may be bad for another so it is utterly ridiculous for any one to say that, statistics has shown that men who had marital problems relating to sexual issues have had multiple partners when they were unmarried.

RELATED POST: WHY MEN ARE ADDICTED TO PORN

LIE 2
Sex makes love stronger that is why it is called making love:

Truth is sex blocks out love, love grows with time and togetherness  while sex is a physical  ( though having spiritual consequences ) activity, if sex makes love grow    then the commercial sex workers shouldn't have any problem falling in love and getting married, a feeling of intimacy is created by a "chemical cocktail" that is produced in the brain during sex and stays with each person for up to 24 hours after intercourse but vanishes quickly away ,statistics have also shown that only 5% of couples  who had sex before their marriage ended up getting married  while 96% of them later divorced, but 99% of couples who didn't engage in premarital sex stayed married after ten years. Genital sex is an expression of intimacy, not the means to intimacy. True intimacy springs from verbal and emotional communion. True intimacy is built on a commitment to honesty, love and freedom. True intimacy is not primarily a sexual encounter. Intimacy, in fact, has almost nothing to do with our sex organs. A prostitute may expose her body, but her relationships are hardly intimate, premarital sex short circuits the emotional bonding process.

LIE 3 :

 Sex is the test of compatibility (test driving):

Lies about sex

Test driving is the result of having multiple partners and it is damaging to a relationship to compare people  to each other based on sex and on what scale or criteria are you going to use in comparing. You are simply going to be comparing the previous sex mate with the next and often times if you find something better, you would immediately believe that there is something even better and there would be no commitment., if you have one wife and don’t engage in premarital sex it would be impossible to compare anyone with another and it would reduce the risk of unfaithfulness in marriage.

Read: Sex Woman First: How to teach him You come first (Guide to Female Orgasm)

:

RELATED POST: LETTER FROM A WOMANIZER | I ALSO PREACH SAFE SEX

Read More

SHORT STORY-WHY I HAVE NO FUTURE AMBITION ( An African Child)

African Village

 Growing up at Aba Nla, a village close to Ibadan, I had two “career paths” on my mind. I wanted to become either a Police officer or a coffin maker. A Police officer, because it was the easiest job to make free money; a Coffin-maker because there will always be a ready market as people will naturally die. After the community  leader, a retired Civil war veteran, the richest man in the community was the DPO Kenneth. By the time I finished JSS 3, my confusion as to which of the professions to take was resolved. Even back in the early 90’s when Road bribery wasn’t done with much chutzpah by our friends in black, getting yourself through the Police College was a very cool idea. The idea of being a Policeman in Nigeria is even more lucrative these days that there’s no limit to how much you can make on the roads. Luckily for you as a Policeman, your customers won’t have required papers before they put their cars on the road. For your customers who have all their papers, they won’t know their rights. The only danger here is possible  armed robbers attack. Luckily for you, when armed robbers are on the prowl, your customers  whom you should protect,  will offer you their own clothes to change into. Even if you refuse, you will be advised to oblige since  your gun-power cannot match the machines  being used by the robbers .This was my mindset until the day some robbers escaped from a bank robbery at Ijebu-Ode. Aba Nla was  to be their exit route but DPO Kenneth, my role model at that time and his boys were radioed from Eleyele Force Headquaters in Ibadan to lay ambush for the robbers. Kenneth and his boys bowed to superior fire-power. Kenneth was shot and he didn’t survive. Then I asked myself, “ what shall it profit a Policeman who “obtained” motorists, made so much money only to be killed in action. I switched to Plan B.  Coffin makers/sellers are business men who are on a class of their own; I wanted to be a distinguished one. The Nigerian businessman who understands the logic of the coffin sellers is Aliko Dangote. Sell to your customers what they can’t do without – Rice, salt, sugar – and you are good. It’s the same thing for the coffin-seller; people live, make money and strive hard only for one thing – to die. A coffin-seller will only be out of business when people stop dying. I have even seen a 60 year old man model  for coffin makers. After I dropped out of Prospect High School, I joined a coffin-maker as an apprentice. Kasali Coffin-makers was the biggest in the whole of Aba Nla. He even had customers as far as Ibadan, Ijebu-Ode, Lagos and Abeokuta. I learnt the trick to Kasali’s success the first week  I joined. There were two apprentices working with him already , John and Ade.     Kasali came to our house on a Thursday evening with the two boys and he informed my grandma that I had an errand to run for him. The nature of my apprenticeship was such that your oga was more or less your owner – so your parents  obliged any request. .I simply put on my Kito sandals and followed them. We all rode away in Kasali’s 504 Station Wagon, the second best car in the community after Baale’s Mercedes 200. DPO Kenneth’s 505 evolution was taken away by his family after his death

   

RELATED POST: GETTING THINGS DONE- THE EXECUTION OF YOUTH DEVELOPMENT

                             .

The smoke coming out of the exhaust as we drove off was not much of a worry since it was quite dark already; we inhaled some, the rest was for passers-by. I still couldn’t understand the kind of assignment oga had for us at such unholy hour                        .

He was apparently driving out of the community but took a turn as I asked a question.“Oga, where exactly are we going this night?”. John and Ade exchanged glances and they appeared to be satisfied that I was worried. The previous 3 days at work had been terrible for me because both of them used every opportunity to show me that they were my seniors at work. This didn’t go down well with me because they were my age mates and they were only ahead of me at Oga Kasali’s place because they dropped out of school earlier than me                     .

“We are here already, don’t be scared” Kasali responded                      .

That was when I noticed that we were driving towards the cemetery gate.

“Oga Kasa, but we came here in the morning for a burial.” I said                      .

Oga Kasali actually made the coffin used for the burial and I couldn’t understand why we came back                        .

The gateman of the cemetery approached the car and flashed his torchlight at us while oga Kasa flashed back with the car’s headlight. On another occasion I would have asked for the rationale behind putting a fence around a Cemetery and having a gatemen there. Was it to prevent the dead bodies from escaping? Or was it to prevent outsiders from interacting with them?

“Kasa gbangba, Good evening o” The gateman hailed Oga Kasali                           .

“Baba ode, well done sir. We are here o.” responded Kasali             .

“I don dey wait for the past thirty minutes. Make we start work immediately abeg” stated the gateman               .

The gateman who I knew very well because he stayed three houses away from my grandma., then noticed me in the car and asked   why I was there.  He actually joined us this week” replied Kasali                 .

We all moved towards the point where the burial of that day took place. John and Ade suddenly brought out diggers from behind a tree and they started digging.

That was when I realized what was happening. So Kasali sold coffins to people only for them to be retrieved and later sold to other people.

I was so scared and I couldn’t understand why they were so confident as they went on with the digging. What if someone later discovered what we were doing? .John and Ade had been digging for a while and it appeared they were already looking at the coffin. I was still in shock at what was going on as Oga Kasali and the gateman stepped forward to assist the boys.

Everyone knew I was in shock, so they didn’t bother asking me to do anything.

By this time, the coffin was exhumed  and they were about to open it.

“Kasali, when I go collect my balance na? I need money o” The gateman told Kasali               .

“No worry baba. By tomorrow, we go sell this one to another person and money go come in. I go settle you properly.” Replied Kasali               

How it happened, I still cannot explain till tomorrow. A voice, baritone one for that matter, suddenly came from the ground                     .

“Ka-sa-li! “To si gba owo ise re!” meaning “ But you were paid for this coffin.” Said the ghost, who was holding Kasali’s hand.

We all took off and escaped through different routes apart from Kasali who was being held by the ghost. Now I can officially call myself an NFA,(No future Ambition) as my two  career paths have proved too dangerous to cope with. Please  don’t tell my story in a serious Gathering.

RELATED STORIES- THE PERFECT ESCAPE          |             HOW I MET MY MOTHER

Read More

LETTERS TO FUTURE WIFE

Letter to WIfe

           Hello there,

It took a lot of self-psyching to finally put a pen to my thoughts. I am not the kind of guy that writes, even my lecture notes are mostly photocopied but with every letter to my future spouse that I come across, I find myself wanting to write to you. First of all, I want you to know that I am not a saint, and that is actually putting it mildly. I am not a fire vomiting, thunder erupting and volcano blasting brother but I must say that I am also not the same kind of Christian I was 5 years ago, or even 5 days ago. I am constantly taking baby steps to the knowledge of truth, faith , patience, brokenness, love , long-suffering, compassion and holiness.

I have been a product of my environment, no thanks to growing up in a dysfunctional home and being exposed to all kinds of present day vices but as you know, our God is faithful and just even to the faithless as he commands rain to fall on both good and evil.

In my discovery of truth , I have come to realize that the fruit doesn't always fall far from the tree and the home is the primary shaping centre of the mind , body and soul. I have also come to discover that a good home is a product of a good marriage and this has made the whole marriage institution glow in new light to me.

                                      RELATED POST: 8 LADIES TO NEVER MARRY

All my life , I have  set goals to become successful, get things done, develop myself , expand my horizon but I never for once thought about making myself a man who can lead a good home through a good marriage.

I have since discovered that this great neglect has somehow being preparing me to fall in the generational cycle of a dysfunctional home front.

I would love to be a good and loving husband and father . I would love to lead a God fearing home and be one with my wife through the journey of life. I would love to have a home of ever increasing love and not just becoming roommates after a few years of marriage.

In all this, I have also realized that the original plan of marriage was God’s, and no matter how much the world tries to get him out of it, it still remain his. It was his plan, his design, his work. And just the way you wouldn’t run a Toyota Camry car with a  Vespa engine, only in God, the master planner can we truly enjoy marriage and not endure it. With this, I understand why the rate of divorce and separation is high and why all my previous relationships never lasted and why I initially concluded that the so called “wife material” was no more.

I now know that I have to do it the God way, I have to summit myself to him to make me a husband material capable of handling a wife material. I now know that I have to trust him to lead me to the bone of my bone. With this new found knowledge and confidence, I write to you and say, It is well with you.

Your Future Husband.

Read:Dear Future Wife: A time capsule letter from a Stand-Up Comedian to his future wife.

Read More

THE WILL OF GOD

Matthew 7:21 says “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

 This singular passage here would be the reason why a lot of Christians may not make heaven.  From that passage it can be deduced that not all those who call Jesus , Lord (Christians) would make heaven and the greatest tragedy that can happen to a Christian is not to do the will of God on this earth. This puts the will of God on the foremost list of priorities for a Christian.

There are 3 wills capable of controlling man.

1. The Will of God: ,

 2. The  Will of the devil

3.The  Will of man himself.

In this life we are constantly being pulled and dragged by the will of the devil due to satanic influence and our wills due to personal interest of the flesh which we believe is logical and seem right. When Eve ate the apple in the Garden of Eden, she was persuaded by the devil but before she ate it, the bible says, that she inspected it and saw that it was good and capable of giving man knowledge. The fall of man was a co-operative endeavor between the will of the devil and the will of man.  This scenario is playing over and over again in the world we live in today.

The will of God however, doesn’t drag you or bombard you. From James 4:7,  Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. We see that we have to submit ourselves to the will of God, it would never force itself on us. This explains why you can never have a child who was never corrected or disciplined and grew up on his or her own turn out right. Because he would be bombarded by the will of the devil and  his own will.

When you submit yourselves to God, then you would be able to resist the devil and he would flee. Resisting the devil when you have not totally submitted yourself to God can be very dangerous. At the same time submitting yourself to God and not resisting the devil would make your salvation useless. Submit yourselves today to the will of God by being born again, and by  bringing your heart to the Lord, letting him take control of your heart and your mind. Ezekiel 33:31 says “ My people come to you, as they usually do, and sit before you to hear your words, but they do not put them into practice. Their mouths speak of love, but their hearts are greedy for unjust gain. I peter 4 also says  “Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in the body is done with sin. 2 As a result, they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.”

 The will of God can be classified into two.

1. The revealed will of God which is from the bible, it follows the laws of God placed in the bible.

2. The specific will of God: after you have followed the revealed will of God in the bible then you can now wait for the specifics that God would tell you.

Matthew 19:16 tells the story of a young rich man who came to Jesus   “ Now behold, one came and said to Him, “Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?” 17 So He said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments.”18 He said to Him, “Which ones?”

The will of God

Jesus said, “‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false witness,’ 19 ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ”20 The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept from my youth . What do I still lack?” 21 Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.

Jesus told him about the revealed will of God in the commandments and then when he said he had fulfilled that, God gave a specific will. In life you would need the  specific will of God and the only way of getting this is to first follow the revealed will. David was one man who followed the specific will of God as Acts 13:36 reveals

“ For David, after he had served his own generation by the will of God, fell asleep, was buried with his fathers”.

Read More

I GIVE MYSELF AWAY

I Give myself away.

I Give myself Away.

There is a video that has just been recently uploaded on YouTube and No!, it is not another Korean pop sensation or another awkward kid in the Middle East. This time, it is coming from the church. It was uploaded by rave urban TV and it apparently features a bishop consecrating some new bishops into position. The very theatrical process involved lying on the floor, man on man, white cloth, red cloth and a bishop girdle ( or a dress).

This has seen some uploads to social media and has had it’s share of comments. Majority blasted the act, tagging it unscriptural, gay, a show off to mention a few. Other suggested that members should have walked out on the “weirdness”. The song, i give myself away was also cited to be ambiguous. The most liked comment read “ THE SAD PART THE CHURCH WAS CLAPPING ON HIS HUMPING....LIKE REALLY!!!”

See for yourself.

Well the church has since taken the video down, something they shouldn't have recorded in the first place.

Now, you have to understand the perspective of the public on this issue. The American Environment has made homosexual activities a part of it’s everyday life and as such no longer criminalized or segregated , but you know as things change they also remain the same. This singular act has also made any form of same sex contact ultimately tagged as gay. You would really understand this, if you went to india, where a large percentage of the men are heterosexual yet very feminine in one way or the other.

Back to the church located somewhere in Detroit. Ordination and consecration should be done privately, not like a reality show. Ordinations are usually done amongst the church workers and ministers and the new inductees are simply announced to the congregation. This is not the first time; we have seen something of this nature done in the open. This doesn’t do anything to the new convert or the new birth Christian other than to make them feel uncomfortable and in most cases confused.

IS IT REALLY SCRIPTURAL?

One place in the bible where laying was recorded was in 2kings chapter 4: where Elisha laid on the rich widow’s child, it reads

“³² Elisha arrived at the woman’s house and went straight to his room, where he saw the boy’s body on his bed. ³³ He walked in, shut the door, and prayed to the Lord. ³⁴ Then he got on the bed and stretched out over the dead body, with his mouth on the boy’s mouth, his eyes on his eyes, and his hand on his hands. As he lay there, the boy’s body became warm. ³⁵ Elisha got up and walked back and forth in the room, then he went back and leaned over the boy’s body. The boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes.”

In this scenario, the laying was to awaken the spirit, soul and in turn body by transfer due to body contact.  This may be the principle the bishop is trying to recreate here, using his body as a vessel of transfer to the men on the ground. But it has to be noted that in the case of  Elisha it was face to face ( which would have caused even more uproar) and when people die, they are laid chest up. While this theory is not cast in stone, we have to understand that whatever we do, we should do in moderation, so that people would not be drowned in the confusion that certain acts have caused. I give myself away.

Read:The Black Church: The Root of the Problems of the Black Community

Let’s know what you think?

Read More

DIRECTION

Direction.

Ruth 1

 "1 In the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land. So a man from Bethlehem in Judah, together with his wife and two sons, went to live for a while in the country of Moab. 2 The man’s name was Elimelech, his wife’s name was Naomi, and the names of his two were Mahlon and Kilion."

  In the above passage we see a man  take a decision to follow a direction based on his present condition and location, in the bid to avoid suffering and hardship from the famine which was in the land.  He went ahead with his wife and children. remember we are looking at direction.

 Jeremiah  1:5  says

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,   before you were born I set you apart;   I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

1 Corin 6:19 says

" Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own".

 In verse 12,

"it says that everything is permissible to me but not everything is beneficial",

It also goes to say that  you are not  your own in other words, the lord owns us, in jeremiah we see God telling  jeremiah that before he was formed , he had an assignment. The same thing applies to everyone on earth , we are not here to follow the crowd and make decisons based on popular perceptions . Whatever the circumstances surrounding your births, God has a plan and assignment for you and a direction for you to follow.

We have come to discover that God’s plan for our life is location specific, you can not just afford to relocate anywhere, do anything, studyany course, work in any company because God has our master plan.

 Genesis 12

 " The LORD had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. 2 “I will make you into a great nation,    and I will bless you; I will make your name great,    and you will be a blessing.3 I will bless those who bless you,    and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth   will be blessed through you"

Direction

 In that verse we see that  God has a plan for Abram but it was location specific, if he had remained he wouldn't have been a great nation, if he had moved to a country where God did not show him none of God's promises  would hold.

When lot chose a land to dwell , he looked at the quality of the land, the soil and the logical benefits he felt he could get from that land but in the long run, he returned from that land empty handed. When a manufacturer creates a  machine, he also writes a product manual for it, a Direction for every user to follow, where the function which that machine is designed for would be stated and conditions for which it would operate, if the machine now decides to act like another different machine all it’s efforts would be frustrated and in the long run, it would amount to zero.

 A lot of us youths today because of the societal and parental pressures go ahead and studycourses that God did not lead them to, marry people God did not appoint them to, take up jobs that God did not direct them to and in the long run, it would definitely amount to nothing. A lot of people spend their whole lives living lives  that God has no idea about and they die like they never lived. God has deposited a lot of virtues in us, and a lot of us have the vision of what God wants us to be, but we need to go back and ask God for direction on how to get there, which job to take, which program to do , which town to move to. Elimelek   was caught in the moment of what was going on around him and he moved to another town, there he lost his life , all his sons  died, it was also important to note that in that land of moab they never had any more kids and  they lost all they had and came back penniless. In ten years from now the difference in people   now would be the difference in the God given Direction that each one has taken. Don’t just do anything, pray that God should direct you, life is too short to be lived running around in circles. , get DIRECTION

.

Direction

Read More

LETTER TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND

Dear Future husband,

Future husband

I thank God for the courage to write this
letter to you which is partly inspired by
other letters that I have read.  It has really taken a long journey to get to this
place of being able to write to you. I have
lived  most of my life in misconception of
what a husband is and is to be. I grew up
believing Men are liars, cheats, abusive,
selfish and disrespectful to women. I believed that we were the “weaker sex”
who deserved nothing  in life. And in my
delusion, I travelled  the path of sin and
perched my nest in the valley of darkness.  I went about life trying to be a perfect instrument for someone else. I went
around seeking for what I thought was
the ideal kind of man until Jesus found
me. He brought me out of the miry clay
and opened my eyes.  He let me know
that I was wonderfully and fearfully created and he had plans for a future and a
glorious end for me. He showed me that I
don’t have to see  myself , the way my
environment sees me but how he has
made me. He helped me forgo the hurt,
the shame and the pain of the past and
gave me the hope of a brighter, better
day which cannot be cut short. I am
whole . I have now let go of my pastalong with all my erroneous and worldly beliefs,  I
now know that a true husband is the one that would
love his wife, the way
Christ loves the Church. And that a God driven marriage is the one where we would both
complement each other and support each other in fulfilling our God given destiny. My beloved, I want you also to let go of all your
worldly misconceptions of women, all the kind
you read in secular lifestyle magazines, because I am simply different from that. I
would also like you to let go of any hurt or
pain that may get in your way of showing
love and care for your wife and family. Surrendering your pain to God and let him heal
you. I would not judge you because I know
you would not be perfect.
I am learning new things, developing myself

everyday, spiritually, mentally and physically. I have now started to feed my soul, spirit
and mind, instead of hitherto just feeding my
body. Because I have come to realize that you
wouldn’t marry me for my body alone, but for
my heart, my mind and the spirit of God inside of me.  Now  I can see clearly and I know
that in due time, God would bring us together
Your future wife

Read : Prayers & Notes To My Future Husband

Read More

THE UNCONSCIOUS MEN SEX MAGNET

THE UNCONSCIOUS MEN SEX MAGNET

catch me if you can

If men ,guys and even boys are always hitting on you (chasing you) for sex ,you should ask yourself a basic question, “am I doing anything to encourage them?”.

Below are some reasons why the opposite sex may be constantly hitting on you for sex

1.You are sexually attractive:  A man may see your beauty and connect it to sex, but you can make him see you differently when he comes close to you, by shifting their focus from your body to your mind. When you develop your mind, you would be worth much more than a sexual attraction to men, you are sexually attractive i.e seen only as useful for sex if you are just beauty and no brains. A beautiful woman who takes the pains to develop and release her God-given potentials set herself apart from the stereotype. When guys become interested and get close and listen to her, she will win their respect by her intelligent and meaningful contribution, that would gradually reduce the constant chasing for sex.

2.You come across as weak willed: it is a natural law that people would gradually move more to the area of least resistance , if you are always laughing and giggling when sexual issues are raised or going out of your way to impose care on the opposite sex or expressing unnecessary admiration on the opposite sex . it is immediately tagged by men ( who are designed to be more  sexually inclined by nature) that you are easy and so the pestering begins.

3.You dress for sex:  the first way to recognise a prostitute if you see one is by her dressing, their clothes are designed to attract, entice and seduce the men that are foolish enough to go to them. You have to realize that majority of the clothes we wear especially  are designed by men and women who don’t subscribe to Christian beliefs or values. As a rule , any cloth that cannot be worn to church if you are going to be on the stage should not be worn anywhere else. God has blessed us with wonderful shapes and figures which if exposed would not only attract the wrong crowd but undermine our professionalism, mental ability, skill and expertise. Dress like a woman leader.

4.You struggle with sexual thoughts: our thoughts are like a satellite that receives and sends out signals. If your mind is filled with sexual thoughts, you create a sexual magnetic field around you that causes the men around you who are inclined enough to pick such signals to chase you. You should check out the thoughts you encourage, meditate on and project, they may be part of the reason why you are constantly being pestered for sex. Ladies that spend their precious time reading romance novels which depict very graphic details of sex are creating an atmosphere of sex in and around them.

5.You are operating under a strange influence:  this could be as a result of foundational   issues and strongholds who are bent on sabotaging your life and destiny thereby bringing  “carnivorous “ men to derail you. For this you would need to go for deliverance to wash your head from attracting trouble to you, because with this influence your destiny, marriage would be in trouble.  

When men are chasing you left, right and centre for sex, it should not be taken as anaccomplishment instead you should look inward to solve the issue. 

Read:The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control

Read More

WHEN BOYS BECOME MEN: 10 MISTAKES MEN MAKE

WHEN BOYS BECOME MEN: 10 MISTAKES MEN MAKE

Most of the mistakes men make today are the ones they were never taught to avoid as boys.  It is inevitable, man would grow and when he does  it is usually beyond most people’s expectation, because humans are always in the habit of using a singular moment of one’s life in predicting every other period of the  person’s life, talk about mistakes men make, forgetting the fact that seasons change and so does circumstances.  Opportunity arises and status change. With hard work, time, chance, prayer and opportunity, boys become self-sufficient but time after time, they are ten crucial mistakes men make which is repeated generation after generation. Here we count them down.

10 .   THEY GET FAT: 

Fat black man-

Fat man-I am wearing double coated spandex

Boys after they begin to earn some money and generally leave school, begin to eat more, as they have more money to spend and most of the time their jobs deprives them of constant exercise which was normally done in school when reading, walking from one lecture theatre to the other, eating moderately and all was the order of the day. It is also pertinent to note that the African society also encourages this mistake men make, they see a man with bulging stomach as a well fed man. As a result our young handsome boys go out of shape and become heap loads of junk. This is a great mistake because the disadvantages far outweighs the advantages, apart from the fact that people may tend to respect you more because you look older than your age (fatter), you are causing great hazards to yourself and this would really begin to show when you hit 40. Apart from the general weakness ,laziness and constant sweating  associated with fat, bad breath, arthritis , high blood pressure, hypertension, muscles cramps and all would definitely shorten the life of an obese ,unfit and lazy man .This is by far the commonest and deadliest one of all the mistakes men make . Ask yourself, have you ever seen a fat old lady or a fat old man? We are talking 70s and 80s. Only in literature books, what happened to the fat ones? They are dead. The typical black man associates eating with enjoyment, most people across the world eat to stay alive and give them nutrients, but over here most people just make their meal sections a knock out section. Eat moderately, lay off alcohol and exercise. Don’t make this mistake men make.

9. SPEND MONEY ON GIRLFRIENDS: 

Now I get all the love i missed in my childhood even
though i have to pay.

When boys become young men, most of them refuse to get married or as it is sometimes called “settle down”  but prefer to have string of girlfriends who would ask them for recharge cards, allowances ,vacation trips, house rents and all. They extend their bachelorhood, claiming they are trying to find the right person, or they are not ready to settle down yet. This mistake men make leads to the loss of valuable resources which would otherwise have helped build a family. Ladies always like flocking around young men for one benefit or the other and most young men, waste their time and money enjoying the attention.

8. REFUSING TO GROW UP: 

The boy man- Who needs a life when you have video games?

There is a bit of immaturity in every male child. It is common to see young men, do all the things they were not allowed to do as kids, continuing in their childhood behaviours because they are now on their own. It is not uncommon to see young men who hitherto have never kept late nights, always rose up earlier, dressed moderately, used clean language , drove cars carefully, change all because there is no longer a strong parental or mentor presence. They go ahead to counter that verse that says the child that is trained in a certain way would not depart from it. This mistake men make results in the young men finally learning for themselves why they were prevented from hitherto living their lives according to their juvenile thoughts and spontaneous behaviours and even though experience is said to be the best teacher, some things (circumstances) are better,” not experienced”. Don’t make this mistake men make.

  or a wife?

7. BID FAREWELL TO SPIRITUALITY:  “ boys  would always be boys”, this statement seem to accept the shortcomings of the male and even give room for  the mistakes men make by the concluding nature of it. Boys would not always be boys, there would be a time when they would become men, and in the bible which we always reference, we read the phrase “ and I sought for a man” not a boy. Most young men make the mistake of abandoning the things of God and relieving themselves of the devotion to his word and all forms of spirituality. It is a fact that boys don’t go to places of worship as much as their female counterparts, but it becomes even worse when there is a job or a commitment somewhere else, these men would give their best in their respective jobs but become visiting Christians in church .  The problem with this is that they lose the cover and power enjoyed from continuous fellowship with God and they unconsciously expose their lives and families to danger and also let their spirit man die leading to grievous results. This is also one of the deadliest mistakes men make, forgetting the fact that man is a spirit being and we need to nurture our spirituality as much as our body.

This is also a game in Japan involving chains and a ball

6. CHANGE THEIR BELIEFS: This mistake men make is just like the previous, but it is of a different form, when boys become men, one of the greatest mistake men make is that they change their beliefs and conviction over certain germane issues. This is mainly due to the environment they find themselves, where they see people who are somewhat of a success story in their chosen career who don’t have the same principles as they do but still seem to be succeeding. So issues such as  immorality, womanising, alcohol ingestion, corporate lie telling , ruthlessness and all others like it are imbibed into their once squeaky clean personality, because since the boss is doing it, “what is good for the goose is also good for the gender?. The problem with this is that such people end up being victims of demonic oppression and soul harvesting. They miss out on God’s own  blessing for their lives  which added no sorrow.

5. WASTE RESOURCES ON CHILDHOOD FANTASIES: 

All I want for my birthday is a big booty hoe(logram)

it is not uncommon to see young men, who waste their hard earned money on childhood fantasies and forming of new expensive habits.  This is usually fuelled by the pop culture and entertainment world motivation. It is pertinent to note that most young men are not financially wise, that includes even the ones that work in financial institutions. Instead of constant investing of excess cash, they waste them getting things they have craved for when they were much younger not knowing that their expenditure is bound to increase with the advent of a personal family. It is not uncommon to see young men who are regarded by the public as being in a well-paid job borrowing money before pay day. This is a very common mistake men make and it leads them to poverty and makes them end up as irresponsible husbands and fathers.

4. KEEP UP WITH THE JONESES: Most young men get into unnecessary rivalry and contest with friends, being the first to buy a car or spend money on an expensive item; most times it is usually done unconsciously which makes it very difficult to curb. The problem with this mistake men make is that the young man loses sense of purpose for his life and makes silly and childish decisions which leads to a lot of regrets and problems in the future.

3. MARRY BY LUST, (HER RACKS ARE  BIGGER) : 

Lust- I know you are not right for me, but just look at you
Who cares?

one of the global errors made by the male folk is judging the opposite sex by their physical appearance.  When you go to the grocery store  to buy Apple, it is very common to pick the apple that looks fine and smooth but in some cases some of them would end up harbouring soft brown patches when eaten. That is how humans are .it would be so silly for any man to get in a relationship with any one just because of their looks or physical attributes. There is no face so beautiful that would not have wrinkles later on, likewise every other part. Every young man is to seek God’s face and find inner piece concerning his intended spouse, if God doesn't say yes don’t take them to the altar. Pray to know God’s will concerning your intended spouse and he would answer you speedily. When men marry based on lust, they expose themselves to a troubled marriage and future, because the marriage lasts longer than the lust and when what brought you together is no more. The marriage becomes a living hell. Don’t make this mistake men make.

2. BECOME PROUD: 

I hope this picture is good enough to let people know i make 6 figures.

 Young men change with changing status, the male is naturally born with ego and this skyrockets when he starts getting some favourable returns in his line of business or chosen career. It is common to see young men, who listen to nobody, seeks advice from nobody and generally do things their own way. They gauge themselves by themselves for themselves. They understand not that there is nothing man has in this world that he has not been given, that the race is not for the swift but it is the Lord who shows mercy to man. They continue in their state of pride and become enemies of God, because our God , the only living God hates the proud with a passion and he brings them low, and who can save you , if God is the one bringing you down?. Another way to put this is that  the forces of nature would constantly go against the proud.

1. DEPEND ON THE ARM OF FLESH: Men are very practical creatures, and so they like being logical and realistic in all they do, but in all their logic they sometimes  leave out their lives when dealing with God. They separate their work from God not knowing that God is as concerned about their work , their life and all as much as he is concerned about their soul. So they look unto certain people for something and  leave God out of it. They rely on connections, contacts and groups for certain advancements in their lives while they look up to God only for their soul nourishment. They take up jobs, appointments, contracts and get married without seeking the mind of God, and letting God lead them in life. This is a very grievous mistake , because God created man and has the blueprint of his life with him. Man in himself doesn’t know his full potential, he only just tries to discover it day after day. God knows man’s destiny and can also direct him in what to do and what not to do.  This is totally summed up in proverbs 3: 1-8. Don’t make this mistake men make. The result of young men doing things on their own can be derived from this above passage as short life, poverty, disfavour, bad name in the sight of God and man, crooked paths , ill health and weak bones.

Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter, fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgement including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.  

Read:  He'll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men

Read More