Foods that help you Get Pregnant

Foods that help you get pregnant(i.e foods that boost your fertility).

Most people want to conceive as soon as possible once they get married. It can be very difficult if you are faced with infertility and still in your relationship. Thankfully there are many natural ways in which you can boost not only your sex drive but your fertility in order to get pregnant. You can get into shape while also increasing your consumption of certain food groups which help with both male and female fertility.

Fertility can be aided by staying healthy and fit. This means that if you are overweight it will reduce your chances of conceiving. The same is true of being severely underweight. Many people do not bear this in mind and instead only focus on removing birth control and having sex near ovulation in order to get pregnant. But this is an often overlooked and important aspect to conception. A study showed that having a Body Mass Index of below 20 or above 24 would make it difficult to get pregnant. Calculate your BMI

To get pregnant there are certain things, a woman should be mindful of .Drinks play a large role in fertility as well. If a female consumes more than five cups of coffee per day it will greatly lower her chances of fertility. The same is true of more than 2 glasses of alcohol daily. By reducing your alcohol consumption and staying fit you can enjoy higher chances of conceiving when you want to conceive. You don’t have to cut these items out entirely but just reduce them.

Other things which increase fertility in  order to for a woman to  get pregnant  includes detoxification from toxins from  such activities as smoking and eating junk and unhealthy foods. Smoking would not only reduce a woman’s chances of getting pregnant but would also harm the foetus if she eventually does.

FRESH FRUITS.

As a man there are many foods you can consume which will increase your fertility.

 Fresh fruits give you high levels of Vitamin C which is known to increase the health of your sperm and your potency. By consuming two portions of fruits which are high in vitamin C and antioxidants you can increase your chances of impregnating your partner.

GARLIC

Garlic is another food you should consume. It actually improves  blood circulation which in turn  increases fertility. In addition it has aphrodisiac properties.

FISH

 Fish are high in fatty acids which can improve your fertility. Fish also improves circulation in your reproductive system and will boost the quality of your sperm to get your partner pregnant.

For women there are four main foods which can boost your fertility.

MEAT

Meat( Beef and chicken) is perfect because it has a lot of iron in it which reduces your risk of infertility during the ovulation process. It also helps to increase the level of red blood cells in your body which reduces your threat of anaemia. This is important because it will reduce complications once you conceive.

 RELATED POST: GET PREGNANT NOW |FOODS THAT HELP INCREASE SPERM COUNT

NUTS

. Nuts like walnuts and almonds have a high amount of vitamin E which will increase the female sex drive and protect your embryo from a potential miscarriage.

POTATOES

Potatoes are also good for females because they are high in vitamin B and vitamin E both of which will enhance  cellular division in order to get pregnant by increasing  the chances of producing a healthy ova.

EGGS

Lastly eggs are full of folate and vitamin B12 both of which will minimize the potential for birth defects. They also have cartenoids and antioxidants which increase your fertility.

SUPPLEMENTS

                                                        

Fertility supplements are probably the most important of these lists as they promote reproductive wellness and improve a woman's chances to conceive. Supplements like  FertilAid for Women: Female Fertility Supplement comes with a one month supply for a woman intending to get pregnant.


You can find creative ways to integrate the aforementioned foods into all three meals each day and watch the fertility levels of you and your partner rise. Soon you will both be able to squeal with delight as you announce to your friends and family that you are pregnant!  Taking all these foods alone would not get you pregnant. Not until a good swimmer meets a good egg before you can get pregnant. You have to be sure you are able to conceive and that the man is not just shooting blanks.

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Make your butt bigger with Excercise

Exercises  that make your butt bigger.

One of the cheapest ways to make your butt bigger is to engage in butt toning exercises.  Butt exercises  would develop the glutes giving them a very good shape. The glutes is the muscle that holds the buttocks. With exercise you can grow the glutes  and in turn make your butt bigger. The advantage of making your butt bigger with exercise is that it also shapes and tones the buttocks. You don’t end up with this sloppy , sagging , shapeless mass of junk on your backside, but a well shaped booty which is what we all really want. Even if you are naturally endowed with a big butt, you would still need this exercises to firm them up and make them perky. Fat on it’s own has no shape,it’s the muscles beneath them that sculpts them and make them perky. Fat cannot be area specific,in other words, you cannot just gain weight and think it is going to flow down to your buttocks. The weight gain in that region is proportional to the number of fat cells that are resident in that region. Muscles however can be gained in specific places of the body. A lot of butt enhancement creams and pills like Major Curves Butt Enhancement | Enlargement Capsules which  contains supplements that boasts estrogenic properties of the body such as boobs and butt enlargement would work better if only they were coupled with butt toning and glute building exercises.

                    RELATED POST: MAKE YOUR BUTT BIGGER

The most comprehensive exercise to make your butt bigger, is the fitblender butt lift workout that combines a host of butt lifting and toning exercises for that perfect glute that would make your butt bigger. You would keep saying “OMG!”=”oh my glutes!” on this one because these exercises literally attack the glutes. For the below set of exercises you would need a chair and dumb bells (optional). You should endeavor to carry out this exercises at least twice a week for a period of three months, while taking butt enlargement supplements like major curves butt enlargement pills or just eating foods that would make your butt bigger for optimal result.

If for some obvious reasons, you don’t have 30 minutes of any day, dedicated to make your butt bigger, then you can opt for the 8 minutes daily workout that would still guaranteed to make your butt bigger. This video by passion for perfection would make your butt bigger in  8 minutes.

For all these exercises, you would need to be constantly motivated and have  a little endurance and tolerance for pain. Taking a sport drink before the workouts might also come in handy as  you can’t afford to stop because you feel a little burn in your thighs or you get tired. It is advisable to work your way up to the full complete workout non-stop for maximum results.  All these butt excercises  consist of butt lifts, lunges, leg kicks and a host of others. You also have to understand that your expectations has to be very realistic. You cannot move from being extremely skinny and thin to having a bigger butt like kim kardashian. NO! And results would become noticeable after the third week, but they would surely come.so, apart from endurance and motivation needed in the journey to make your butt bigger, you would also need patience as you work with these exercises. These exercises can be done by male and female, sometimes it’s nice to see a  butt on a man. A well shaped butt on a man would make his pants fit better . Take this exercises and show off your big butt in few weeks.

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Dengue fever - My Symptoms.

Dengue fever.

 Up until now, I have only heard dengue fever in passing and never gave it a thought.It was the evening of Thursday, I had come back from work and was ready to make the best of what was left of the day . Sleep time was 11:00pm and so I had roughly 4 hours. The only thing hindering me now was this headache behind my eyes. It made every eye roll painful and more energy sapping. There was no way , I was going to get anything done with this headache. So I had to put everything away and call it a night. In the morning, the headache had worsened, I thought I was having a fever and so took paracetamol  and did all the fever rituals  of putting a cloth on your head, water therapy and basically all other things you read on  internet blogs. The fever didn’t subside, it instead grew worse. I started having back pain, muscle pains and an immediate loss of appetite. It became difficult to stand on my two feet or even put clothes on. I knew something was wrong , so I went to the drug store and just bought some antibiotics to put out anything that was making me feel this way and decided against going out to work , shelving all my plans for the day.

6 hours later, it had become a full blown sickness, I started throwing up everything that I had eaten or not eaten. I was coughing, the joint and muscle pains has become excruciating and my temperature was literally over a 100. I knew I had to see the doctor and so I did, and he immediately requested that I take a blood test while giving me new sets of antibiotics which were way stronger than the ones I had been taking before then.

The results of the blood test came and dengue fever was detected. Dengue fever test was carried out because in Asia, which I am at the time, it is a very common fever among people especially children. It is caused by a  mosquito bite and up until 2015 would have no vaccine. It turned out that I had a 9.6 aggregate which was totally mild but still made me feel like I was knocking on heaven’s doors.  0 to 9 is negative and 9-11 is equivocal which is mild and 11 above is positive and very deadly. I was among the 100 million cases of dengue fever annually in the world and it was hell.

 My blood count was greatly affected and my platelets had halved in number, I immediately lost about 11 pounds and only had enough appetite to down a glass of  fruit juice. At this point it was clear that the body would have to fight the fever in it’s own way but Asian doctors always prescribe antibiotics just in case. I didn’t take all  the antibiotics I was prescribed because I believe I have an antibiotics threshold. I went ahead to take lemon water, herbal extracts especially payaya leaves boiled in water and wait, for my healing to come. It lasted a week after which I started regaining strength and a second blood test revealed that my platelets were on the rise.

 In the process of recovery, I kept feeling fluid in my muscles, I was told it was fluid leakage from the capillaries, it was very painful but lasted only a few days. I also started itching all over especially under my feet. I didn't however have any rashes since my fever was the mild kind.

The road to recovery was long and boring and it took about 2 to 3 weeks to fully recover. Within those 2 weeks, nothing mattered. Finances, life goals and dreams, love relationships and work, nothing. The only thing that mattered at that time was health. Health is indeed wealth.

Ironically, there is a musical band who call themselves Dengue Fever, I wonder if their music would make you have a headache, joint pains, fluid leakage, weakness, stomach pain and puke all over the place.

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Sex around the World

Sex around the world.

Have you ever thought that sexual skills, prowess and abilities might vary across the world? That some men of a particular race or country might be better in bed than others, well a lady is about to find that out. She is about to have sex around the world. She has made a bucket list and what conveniently falls on the top of it is to have sex with 100,000 men from around the world. Her name is Ania Lisewska and she has announced her mission on her facebook page to visit the world and take the men down. She has already started her mission , so there is no use trying to stop her and she is on her way to winning a nobel prize, setting a world Guinness record.

Ania is a 21 year old girl and has already been to prague, with Portugal being the country in which she launched her sexual marathon as she calls it. She is a polish woman and she keeps her blog in polish which she updates with galleries and marathon dates, she has already spent 20 minutes with 284 men each and she can’t stop. For a chance to spend 20 minutes with ania, leave your name and nationality in the comments and we would get back to you.

RELATED POST: LIES ABOUT SEX

Okay , now seriously, this girl right here  deserves a reality show, after which she would write a book, make a documentary and grace the cover of playboy. She had already done multiple blood tests for herself and her partners and she uses that as a criteria. She would most likely not get to 100000, she wouldn’t even get to half of that, she would have to have sex with 10 men each day for the next 27 years to touch that, by that time she would really want to take a knife and shove it up her own ass and then she would find God and give her life to Christ and then come up with an inspiring story because like we all know, bitches always go to heaven.

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To be or not to be: Husband Shoots Wife.

To be or not to be: Husband shoots wife.

This incident has brought to light a dilemma that spouses of sick people may often face in their lives. It is the dilemma of "to be or not to be" when it comes to helping your spouse die. The controversy surrounding doctor assisted suicide has led to sick people with little hope of recovering finding other means of putting an end to their misery. This often leads to the dependence on spouses and close relatives to help put them to eternal sleep.

Such is the case of Ernest Chris chumbley, a south Kentucky man who is being held at the laurel county detention center for shooting his wife who until then was suffering from severe breast cancer and had few weeks or months to live. He fired two shots into her brain. Ernest and his wife Virginia had been married for 20 years until Virginia developed cancer, one of the many ways to die and started the journey of a slow excruciating death. Ernest watched his once lively wife, deteriorate everyday and  lose the sparkle in her eyes.

According to him, his wife had told him to end her pain which saw her gasping for air,every night . The neighbors attested to the fact  that they were once happily married but Virginia’s pain was keeping everybody up at night. He had initially refused and had told her that the only thing he had was what the doctors gave her, but she had insisted that he kill her

He allegedly obliged and shot her twice and then called 911. He was arrested when officials got into the house and found virginia’s dead body. He was booked for murder.

Most people think that  The only thing worse than suffering is watching someone you love suffer  and that if what he's saying is true, than this mercy killing may have been the only choice he believed he had. Others don’t think so, they claim if he truly loved his wife and she was suffering from cancer and couldn't bare the pain anymore and asked him to kill her...  No one would do it. According to a man he said, “ I will feel bad and wish I could be the one in pain instead of her but I don't think I can kill the woman I chose to spend the rest of my life with. I would lay beside her while she took her last breath but it wouldn't be me taking that breath away, it would be God.”

Some people are postulating that shooting her twice may be a sign of intent , which would make it more about him not being able to hold on any more than the wife requesting to be killed. The only thing here is that, there is no evidence to prove that she really wanted to be killed. There should have at least been a video or something to prove and using a gun was not the best way to kill someone you love. 

A woman said “There is nothing selfish about not wanting to take the love of your life’s last breath away. If my husband was suffering it would crush me completely but i couldn't bring myself to harm him and my husband would never put me in the position to make that decision he would gladly suffer until his time was up than scar me forever and make me throw my life away. The request for him to do this is what’s selfish if this is really why he killed her". It is a serious case of  "to be or not to be"

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Burnt Bridges: African Mother Marries Son

Burnt Bridges: Mother marries her son.

Betty Mbereko  a 40 year old African woman from Mwenezi in Masvingo, Zimbabwe, has been a widow for 12 years now and all that is about to end. She has found her prince and like most women have put the horse before the cart by being 6 months pregnant for him and that is not even the problem. The real issue here isn’t  that the man Farai Mbereko is just 24 years old with a 16 years age difference between them but that the man in question is her biological son. Her defense is that she loves her son so much and they had been through thick and thin together, throughout the 12 years that she was a widow and she preferred her son to any of her husband’s younger brothers who have been unrelentingly coveting her. 

In Africa, it is not uncommon for siblings of a deceased to inherit the deceased's properties including his wife, just the way it was recorded in the bible. The practice has since died down due to civilization mostly but such wave of civilization has probably still eluded people in masvingo in Zimbabwe.

Betty has admitted to a court in her locality last week , that she had ignited this weird flame between herself and her son three years ago. She went ahead to state that she had been the only woman farai has known and she had paid his school fees and groomed him into a man and that no woman deserved to reap the fruits of her labor.

Farai himself is loving all the attention, his late father coincidentally had not fully paid the bride price of his mother before he kicked the bucket and he was prepared to not only pay off the chicken change but also jump the broom with his mother. In his own words,” he said, I want people to know that  I am the one who impregnated my mother and I am ready to marry  her, so no one should accuse her of promiscuity.”

As expected, every one in the African village acted like this is the worst thing they have ever heard and some of the local village chiefs even considered assassinating the love birds but were afraid of being apprehended by the police.

In fairness to farai, I once lusted after one of my aunties, until my mom had her thrown out of the house, after an humping session in the back alley. One of the greatest tragedy of being a male is that the male genital grows and develops faster than the male brain. So lust is mistaken for love, and everything in between.

Betty on the other hand probably needs a shrink to differentiate between her husband who she married at the tender age of sixteen and gave birth to a son for and her own son who is probably a split image of his father. The question here is what happens when the baby is born . What would happen when the child realizes that his mother is also his grand mother?. Worst of all, if the baby is a girl, would farai be attracted to her and then start banging her, continuing the incestuous cycle that runs in the family? . What if the baby is a boy and he also gets attracted to his grandmother and mother?.  What would farai call his wife, mum or baby? What if they fall out of love and farai gets his groove back, would he break up with his mum or cheat on his wife.?

The important thing right now, is that everyone  is safe from the prying eyes of the cannibalistic African men lying in wait to slay them for the same reasons we are writing about them. The weirdest things go down in African , well after china and India though. 

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Does Masturbation Cause Pimples and Acne?

Does Masturbation cause Acne and Pimples?

Okay, saying Masturbation causes acne or pimples sounds like something the Mormon church would tell it’s teenagers as one of the many side effects of masturbation along with death. It sounds so ridiculous that it is often dismissed by everyone who hears it. 

Masturbation remains as controversial as much more serious issues like doctor-assisted suicide, porn, premarital sex, abortion, fur wearing and animal cloning.It is often said to be a destructive habit but yet others believe it makes the world go round or go numb depending on the way you see it. Now Masturbation has been “rumored” to cause acnes  pimples , blackheads among other skin blemishes in Males. Alongside Junk food, poor hygiene, wrong use of cosmetics, hormonal disorders, masturbation is also contesting for a spot on the numerous causes of acne.

RELATED POST:MASTURBATION SIDE EFFECTS

 A random wanker attested to the fact that he only got a smooth perfect face after  quitting masturbation. Before that, he had quit junk food , changed to the Paleo Diet,(some kind of combination of silly meals presumed to have been eaten by cavemen,2.5 million years ago) and followed most of the advice given on how to cure pimples to which he saw a remarkable improvement , only to experience breakouts after waxing the brass candle stick.

Pimples are coming.-----is that a cat?

Masturbation may cause pimples and acne if it creates an hormonal imbalance in the body. Meaning, if there is a surge of testosterone when you engage in the act and of course there is, hormones would come out and play. If the person in question had a lot of breakouts during puberty ( which is the major period where your hormones are literally going crazy), then there may be a slight chance of having breakouts again when there is a testosterone surge from masturbation. But that would also mean that you would have breakout with every testosterone inducing activity like heavy weight lifting, sleep and some airhead activity like popping steroids, some say it’s true (probably 5% of people).

Masturbation leads to ejaculation (except you are a creep) and ejaculation leads to loss of Zinc , Calcium and Magnesium which would have made you a better person. Zinc especially is closely related to pimples and acne. Zinc deficiency is also a cause of pimples and acne as it helps regulate the skin’s oil glands which might block the pores and cause pimples and acne when overproduction sets in. Zinc plays an important role in overall skin health, and it may also treat eczema, psoriasis, dandruff, burns and boils. It also helps skin wounds heal faster.  

                    RELATED POST:  MASTURBATION PLUS EFFECTS

And your penis pudding has about 16mg of Zinc per 100ml rendered homeless and useless with every shoot.It would be safe to say in some cases masturbation does cause acne and pimples, that is not to say the guy with his face plastered with pimples and acne is a chronic wanker and this is not to say he isn’t.

That is way too much zinc

A grumpy young man  claims he heard a theory  that where foreplay and penetration is achieved the puddings lost through ejaculation is immediately replaced by the fluids secreted inside the vagina so you don’t lose anything and instead gain a baby. But masturbation on the other hand leaves you in a lose-lose situation. No zinc, no baby,and intense depression ahead.

 Mr know it all went further to say that” Personally I think males should give up masturbation and build a relationship instead. It affects more the mind than the body for me.” And he would know because the douchebag belongs to the no-Fap group of ex-wankers who have discovered that masturbation causes pimples and acne and have decided to be indifferent to the plus benefits of masturbation.

RELATED POST: MALE GENITAL ODOR DUE TO MASTURBATION

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Beauty-Make your Skin Glow

Make your skin glow

A glowing skin is not only a true mark of beauty but of a healthy body. The skin is like an indicator for a healthy body. It is therefore a worthy cause to make your skin glow at all times. You can be on a budget and still have a glowing skin, the act of making your skin glow doesn’t have to be expensive. Two things are pertinent to note when you want to make your skin glow.

1. The  cleanliness of the skin.

2. The state of the body.

The Cleanliness of the skin:

 A dirty skin cannot glow naturally. In order to make your skin glow, it has to be clean, rid of dead skin cells, excess oil secretions and other impurities. As we grow older, the skin’s ability to do this cleaning on it’s own becomes less and we start to have blemishes( mostly made out of dead skin cells) and an uneven complexion. The forehead and parts of the face away from the centre of the face( the nose) starts having several uneven shade differences from the inner parts of the face. To make your skin glow, you have to get rid of these dead skin cells, excess oil secretions and impurities by exfoliation.

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Exfoilating with natural products are the best ways to clean your skin in order to make it glow. Heavy dependence on facial cleansing creams, cleansers and exfoliating creams rids your skin of all it’s self exfoliating ability and creates a permanent dependence of the skin on such products. In other cases changing products or mixing products might actually break down more skin cells , leaving the skin looking saggy and scaly without the use of these products. To exfoliate your skin naturally, scrub your face in the morning with the inner parts of a banana peel and wash off with water at room temperature after 10-15 minutes. You can kick it up a notch by using a paste made out of banana, apple, Vitamin E , egg whites and honey blended together and rubbed on the face like a mask for inward of 15 minutes and then rinse. After which you can then moisturize with a an Ultra Moisturizing Face Cream.. Stay off anti-aging creams as they would eventually age the shit out of you.

RELATED POST: WHITEN YOUR TEETH

The state of the body:

You  can also take a detox bath for about 40 minutes. You would need to have a bath tub or at least a very large container for this anyway. Fill the bathtub with preferably chlorine free water , pour a cup of Epsom Salt, a cup ofBaking Soda , some drops of an Aromatherapy Essential Oil and Organic Ginger Powder and swish the contents together in the bath tub, you may also add little sea salt and other essential oils. Soak your body in it for 40 minutes without letting your hair come in contact with the water , to get rid of toxins in the body that affects the appearance of the skin. Rinse your body afterwards using a loofah or sponge to scrub the skin. This however is not advisable for diabetics because of the Epsom salt.

RELATED POST: MAKE YOUR BOOBS BIGGER

Nutrition is also very important in order to make your skin glow. Laying off alcohol, tobacco, and junk foods would help preserve the skin. Adding fruits and vegetables to your daily meals would also help make the skin glow. Vitamin supplements especially vitamin A and E should be used daily in healthy doses. You can also use a skin cocktail to make your skin glow. The cocktail consists of  carrots (3 pieces), spinach(30 g), 8 cherry tomatoes , kiwi, milk ( about 50 ml) all blended together and taken at once every morning. After few days results would be evident. 

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Get Rich Get Married.

Get Rich, Get Married.

Have you ever thought of having $65 Million Dollars to your name without being Oprah, Owning a multimillion dollar business or being an actor, athlete or Business tycoon. The answer is simple, get married. Get married not, to the love of your life with a couple thousands in savings and a bucket load of untapped potentials, not to some dumb pro-baller hoping to get a huge divorce settlement when he becomes randy. No! Get married to  Cecil Chao Sze-tsung .

Cecil ‘s father, a Hong Kong property business tycoon has issued a bounty of about $65 million dollars for any Man who would marry his daughter,  the only problem here is that Cecil doesn’t like men, she is a Lesbian. 

Apart from being a lesbian, Cecil also has a wife who she married in Paris in 2012 where the  anti-homosexual laws are not  stringent. Her father on the other hand, not okay with the idea of his lovely daughter being a lesbian has put his money where his mouth is, in trying to get his girl to get married to  someone with a  penis.  

He said “I do not mind whether [the man who marries Gigi] is rich or poor. The important thing is that he is generous and kindhearted. Gigi is a very good woman with both talents and looks. She is devoted to her parents, is generous and does volunteer work.”

Cecil has simply laughed it off and said it was nice that her father really cared about her and was loving to her, and it was really sweet of him to do that. She went on to say that the reason her father was doing this was because he feared the way the public would view her. It is nothing strange for  a woman’s family to pay some kind of token for a man, like a he-goat in the animal farm. This practice though illegal now, is still very much practiced in places like India. What is however surprising is the offer to  pay $65 million dollars just to get your daughter a gold digger. And as expected Cecil had receives about 1500 emails daily all professing love and depicting ways in which they could convert a lesbian.

RELATED POST: 8 LADIES TO NEVER MARRY

Getting  married to Cecil would not be a problem if you have a strategy and work towards it. The first thing is that you have to even know her or at least run within her circles( not google+ circles), to determine what she likes, how to woo her  and how to eventually cash in on all that money amidst accusations of being a gold digger by the whole world. She would have to ensure a break up with her present spouse  Sean Yeoug and then make her profess her love for you. You would probably need help from Richard L A Ruina, the author of The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want  in accomplishing this task. The chances of success however are  very slim as Cecil is 34 years and technically not a rich airhead. Like Adele said, “ you can have my number , but you would never have my heart “ or in this case my vagina and my father’s $65 million dollars , but good things happen to people who are patient enough to wait.

While you are reading this , if you are considering giving it a shot or letting  yourself get lost in the thoughts of how to woo Cecil, you are most likely in a state of  severe dumbness and you probably have never read the post wrong reasons to get married.

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Foods that make you dumb.

Foods that make you dumb.

Dumbness is ubiquitous. Most people would agree that most countries have government officials, celebrities and public speakers who are in a perpetual state of dumbness. In this present day and time, while technological development has greatly increased and the world seems to be advancing in leaps and bounds in science, it would be convenient to say that dumbness is also on the increase. The advancements are just due to a very little fraction of people on earth who have found a way to escape the tsunami of dumbness ravaging the world , either by genetics , study, motivation  or accidents to the cerebrum. The food industry has helped too, producing all sorts of foods that make you dumb. One of the most common ways to ascertain your state of dumbness is to take an IQ test. The results would be alarming if taken correctly and if the tests were created by people who are not dumb. If you are not genetically disposed to escape dumbness, you can still give it a shot by avoiding some of these foods that make you dumb. On a second note, the percentage of your daily food intake that these foods make is inversely proportional to your dumbness. If you don’t understand the last statement, yes , you are dumb. Here are foods that make you dumb.

1. Alcohol: 

You are now in a perfect brain condition to
change the world! Moron.

If you  immediately went into defense mood on reading the first item with arguments like “ alcohol isn't even a food item”, “ alcohol has been known to improve your sex drive” or “ alcohol in moderation is good for the heart”, you are in a chronic state of dumbness. There is a reason why people who are in distress or having a bad day run to alcohol, it is to  disrupt their ability to process emotions by deadening their brain cells. It creates brain fog or in other words mental confusion. That is when you have had a little too much to drink, you don’t remember the events that follow because your brain has come to a screeching halt and it would just take a couple more halts for  it’s gaskets to burn off and you become a moron.

RELATED POST: FOODS THAT MAKE YOU HORNY.

2. Junk Food: 

Junk foods are addictive. Addiction is not a thing of the mind, it has to directly do with the brain. According to the university of montreal which tends to have a lower concentration of dumb people , junk foods like fries, hamburger trigger some symptoms similar to withdrawal symptoms when you stop consuming them. They directly impart the production of dopamine. Fact is you are just a few fries away from not remembering your mother’s middle name or worst still Alzheimer’s disease.

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3. Salt: 

This doesn't look like salt. Dumb blogger

Salt is one of the foods that make you dumb. It affects your cognitive function, apart from affecting your blood pressure and heart. Making you dumb is the least effect of too much salt however, stroke, cardiovascular disease and even stomach cancer are more serious effects. Putting raw salt on your food is worse than having it cooked with the food. Ditch the salt sprinkler and  feel your intelligence rise. This is not to say you should start eating saltless food, you are not 90 and toothless, or maybe you are in dumb years.

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4. Trans fats and Artificial sweeteners: 

All foods containing trans fats and artificial sweeteners are robbing you of your brain power. They are making you dumb. They affect your brain response. All of a sudden, you begin to think it’s cool to watch child porn, have kids by a bunch of sluts and refuse to pay child support, spending two hours a day playing video games while snacking on foods with trans fats and artificial sweeteners, the same foods that made you dumb in the first place. Artificial sweeteners cannot be totally avoided. They are present in your toothpaste, mouth wash, chewable vitamins and cough syrups.

5. Nicotine: 

Nicotine affects the function of neurotransmitters by tightening the capillaries, affecting brain function. It works in such a way that once you have it in your blood stream, you have sustained attention and calmness and then when it reduces, you realize the brain can no longer function and hence the need to take it again without realizing that nicotine is the culprit itself that caused the brain fog. These foods make you dumb but withdrawing from them would not automatically make you Albert Einstein. There is still so much work to do about that. Never Underestimate Your Dumbness

RELATED POST: THE STATE OF DUMBNESS

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Burnt Bridges: The Oldest Divorce Ever

Burnt bridges: The oldest divorce ever.

The story of Antonio C and Rosa C puts a new meaning to “ what goes around comes around”. There is nothing covered that would not be discovered. The question is when would it be discovered? Is it immediately or ten years after or in this case 60 years after, when you are old and grey and can hardly bear the weight of the consequence. Just like porn, adultery is a burnt bridge. That is what Rosa C came to find out at the tail end of her life.

Antonio C and Rosa C have been married for upward of 70 years. Antonio is 99 years old and his wife is 96 (as at 2011). They met in the 1930s where everything was in black and white. No iphones, sexting or words like fag, gangbang, N-word, sleepovers or one night stands were used. It was the time of the innocent except for the wars that threatened to destroy the world.

Antonio C was a Military officer back then, participating in the war. He was in Naples in Italy and they had hit it off immediately and eventually married in  the 1930s. Ten years into the marriage, the nights became too cold to bear for Rosa C.  She then yielded to  temptation, the same way a 12 year old boy today yields to peer pressure. She had an affair.  While in the extramarital affair, she did what lovers do in 1940, write letters to each other. She wrote love notes to her boyfriend and he wrote back.We are guessing, she enjoyed it while it lasted.

RELATED POST: WHY CHEATERS CHEAT

Rosa C was an expert, she was able to juggle being a wife, a girlfriend, a seamstress(most likely) and a mother of five children. The five children who would eventually produce a dozen grandchildren and one great grand child for Rosa and Antonio were all in the dark about their mother’s extracurricular activities. She had every reason to engage in the extramarital affairs, their marriage was a turbulent one and she never had the chance to read an article titled husbands that should hit the road. 

10 years before now, Antonio now 89, left their matrimonial home to live with one of his sons to finally get away from his turbulent 50 year marriage, only to return when he realized his son’s house is not an old peoples’ home and there are no marriage counseling programs for couples who have been married for fifty years. The only advice people gave him was “ hang in there, asshole!”. So they figured out they were kind of stuck in this relationship until now.

One fateful day just before Christmas  Antonio was searching a chest of drawers, probably for his marriage contract to try and see clauses in it, that could ensure he spent the rest of his life in piece and there it was, the old dusty 60 year old love letters  written to someone who was probably dead by now( because we are guessing home wreckers don’t live long). There was no mistaking it, this love letters were written at a time he was in his prime and could go all the 9 yards. He immediately accused his wife of infidelity with the dusty old proof, from a 60 year old chest of drawers . 

RELATED POST: HOW TO HANDLE INFIDELITY AND ADULTERY IN MARRIAGE.

Rosa C read  the words written with dip pen on an ancient hardwood paper and remained her flame. She then went on to confess and tell him the whole truth and begged her husband to stay.

Antonio refused and they went on with the divorce. Making them the oldest divorcees ever.  As at the time of writing this post, we are guessing they are both six feet under, or maybe they are alive experiencing the pain, shame and heartbreak experienced in the few years after a painful divorce. On another note,  a DNA test might not be out of place cause we are guessing the other man may have been his best friend.

Read: Cheating Wife: My Adultery, My Emotional Affairs, My Wrong Christian Romances

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Foods That Make You Horny.

Foods that make you horny.

Sex is a beautiful thing, provided no one dies afterwards, #safe sex.The urge for sex however , otherwise known as being horny is not all that beautiful as it   (depending on one’s libido) can be overpowering, controlling and sometimes frustrating especially when there is no way of relieving such  sexual urges except to waste precious time on masturbation and Porn. Even if you have a willing participant, spending the rest of your life having sex would put you on the same class as the bonobos.

Animals in the wild who don’t have to go to school, look for a job, pay bills , eliminate male genital odor or whiten their teeth don’t even have sex all the time. Mating leaves them vulnerable to predators, and doing it 'just for pleasure' wastes valuable time which would have been otherwise used to hunt, or  watch the sun set.
 It is safest to be horny when you can be satisfied and have so much time in between. There are some foods that make you horny all the time ,turning you into a raging bull  waiting for a prey. Worse still, is being part of a society that doesn’t put any allowance for being horny. Just ask the unmarried men in Asia who have to wait to be wooed by a prospective bride and have no avenue to discharge their batteries even when it is being constantly charged by these foods, the media and their sick genes. Here are foods that make you horny.

1. Banana:

There is a reason why monkeys, chimpanzees and bonobos are always horny and a chimp is more likely to rape you than to kill you. Bananas!. A substance called bromelain is responsible for this. Bromelain has libido boosting properties and banana also contains potassium which aids muscle strength and super-intense  orgasmic contractions. You might also be blown by Nang Tani, some kind of female Thai ghost that haunts banana tress. The effect of bananas however do not even come close to the effect  of devouring a tiger’s penis prepared in traditional Chinese cuisine for  male stamina and animalistic bed skills. Are you still wondering why the Chinese are a billion and over?.

RELATED POST: FOODS THAT HELP LOSE WEIGHT

2. Water Melon:

There is also a reason why the insides of a watermelon is pink and wet. Watermelon is one of the foods that make you horny. It contains phytonutient citrulline boosting the amount of nitric oxide in the body which mimics the effect of sildenafil (Viagra), relaxing blood vessels and speeding up circulation, soon you would  be all pinky and wet and ready to go. For a prefect boost , you are better off eating leaf cutter ants given to newly weds in ancient south America.

3. Avocados:

Avocados and asparagus also ranks among foods that make you horny, they boost hormones like testosterone in men,  estrogen in women and progesterone which helps  vaginal lubrication, and makes you horny. Avocados not only help you lose weight , they also boost your sex drive, although not in the same way as the Philippines  Malunggay Herbal Tea does.

4. Garlic:

 Garlic inflames the passions. There is a reason why Tibetans monks are  forbidden from entering their monastery after eating garlic.( Reverend Fathers  should take a cue from this). Garlic aids blood flow and healthy circulation  from one part of your body to the parts that are needed for shagging. The devout Hindus in India don’t use garlic for food preparation during festivals while the others just eat it like it’s a snack and then have to deal with  constantly being horny and guess who bears the consequence. The  females , in just the same way Turtles are endangered in Florida because turtle eggs are believed to be the best aphrodisiacs by Mexicans.

RELATED POST: FOODS THAT MAKE YOUR BUTT BIGGER

5. Oysters: 

Oysters is the king of aphrodisiac causing a huge spike in testosterone and estrogen in women due to the zinc properties in this foods. Oysters  is one of the major foods that make you horny. They come from the sea and everything in the sea including the sea itself  is horny.A tsunami is just the sea trying to rape land and everything on it, when it can no longer hold itself. Mixing a cobra’s blood with alcohol and downing it , done in Vietnam and china would literally put the sea in your veins. Oysters can be very tricky though, if not well cleaned as some of the substances it absorbs into it's body from the sea  can be toxic for your sex drive cancelling out the zinc properties which makes you horny.

RELATED POST: FOODS THAT KILL MALE GENITAL ODOR

6. Red wine:

Red Wine is good for your heart, Likewise  sex . Red wine contains resveratrol, which boasts blood flow and improves circulation, providing a suitable atmosphere for sex. The same way a Spanish fly juice does.

7. Coconut water

Young coconut Water, (not the processed one) would make you horny. This right here, apart from helping to regulate your appetite, make your skin glow and relieve you of toxins, would send your sex hormones running wild. This becomes noticeable after downing about 3 full ones. In some parts of the world , it is often referred to as the sex milk.

                             RELATED: FOODS THAT CAUSE ACNE

Other noteworthy foods that make you horny are chocolates, salmons and walnuts, fenugreek seeds, hot chillies, pomengranates, vanilla, Honey, pumpkin seeds, Olives and even figs. Laying off all these foods that make you horny would still not guaranty that you would still not be horny, because being horny is a natural thing and you may just have the sick horny genes that makes you horny all the time, that way you just have to live with yourself or make your erection( or stimulation) your direction.

                             FOODS THAT PREVENT YOU FROM BEING HORNY

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