good mother ~ ElijahForce good mother
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Saturday, 9 March 2013

LETTER TO MY MOTHER

Hello Mama,
letter to my mother
My mother
I don't know if you would ever get to read this or be told about this. Mother, i write to you today, not because it is mothers' day but because i want to. First i have to tell you that i am not a writer, so this might seem a little lame. I just want to say that you are the greatest blessing i have. 
letter to my mother
Thank you so much for all those nights i kept you up crying because i was just not in the mood, all those nights you had to stand and rock me back to sleep even when i threw up on your best clothes. I also want to say i am sorry for biting your nipple when i was supposed to be sucking on it. You cried with pain but l laughed with joy. I want to thank you for being my first friend, the one we explored the world together, the one i could always run to when dad was acting up. I want to thank you so much for teaching me how to take care of myself after you took care of me for years. Learning to feed myself, learning to dress myself, learning language and learning life as a human. I say this because we often tend to  take those early periods  in the life of a child as trivial. It never became clear to me until recently when i read about a 33 year old man, who was abandoned in the forest in Uganda when he was a little boy around 3 years when his parents died in the war back in the 80's. He lived with the monkeys for 3 years until he was "rescued" by the soldiers who  sighted him among the animals. 27 years later, he is still not able to speak or adapt to humans. He makes gorilla sounds and has very weak limbs and climbs trees. That is how vital the cradle years are, in which you shaped me into a human. I want to thank you for all the chores you made me do, today, i am hard working ,responsible and self dependent. I want to thank you so much for the love you have for me that never dies. I am sorry for all those times i made you cry, those years of juvenile delinquencies when i thought i got pleasure in hurting you, indeed , i was only hurting myself. I thank you so much for your words of wisdom that i keep with me, for every advice, every encouragement, every chastisement, every warning. They made me, they molded me. I want to say i 'm sorry for glorifying your faults, that was a very stupid thing to do, i now realize that i should have been fighting against those faults reoccurring in me. I thank you so much for your never ending prayers, they went a long way, they sure did .


Now mum, if the angels are singing, sing with them, because your voice is beautiful. If they are clapping, clap those hands of yours too, because yours has raised a child, they  would sound better, if they are dancing , put on your dancing shoes, your dancing steps made a child stop crying and laugh out loud,and when mansions are being allotted, don't hold back, ask for them because you had already built yours. If all girls were like you, there would not be any lazy, unambitious and wayward child in the world. I thank you so much for being  a Mother a friend and a confidant.


Your Child


THE GOOD MOTHER- HOW TO BE ONE

good mother
Good mother.


1. Stay true to yourself :You don’t have to give up your own passions and interests once you become a mom. You have to understand that your duty is not only to raise them by caring for them, feeding them, getting their clothes clean and all. You also have the responsibility of motivating them to be whatever they can be, and there is no better way of motivation than by being a success  story yourself.They would need to hear these stories when they grow older

2. Don’t be a martyr. :The kids didn't ask for it, they don’t need it, and they certainly don’t need to pay the price that comes with being mothered by a martyr. You don't have to be perfect, the love you have for them would show in many diverse ways. It is not a competition.                               
3. Don’t try to be perfect :Trying to create perfection, or to maintain complete control, is simply impossible and should never be your goal. Let somethings go, give them a little bit of breathing space
4. Ditch the guilt :No one is perfect, and you are not expected to be a perfect mom or to never make mistakes. when you make mistakes, learn from them and ditch the guilt. Don't leave your whole life blaming yourself for things that you didn't do well. when you know better , you do better.
5. Be Patient. Raising kids is hard work. Kids are noisy, messy and incredibly demanding. Yes, you will lose your patience once in a while. When they are born, they are totally helpless, when they grow older they become restless and then when they grow even older, they sometimes become helplessly restless. Take a  deep breath and move on.


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6. Listen to your children : mums often act as problem-solvers, dishing immediate advice, when all that is  needed is to listen. Listen to what they have to say, don't be judging all the time or dishing advice, let them talk, let them be comfortable talking to you.
7. Be their mom and their friend. .
8. Teach them simplicity. You will do them a big  HUGE favor, if you teach them at a young age to avoid associating happiness with the accumulation of material possessions. You would be able to do that if you are not greedy yourself.
9. Don’t push them too hard
10. Teach them self-esteem
11. Teach them to be self-reliant.  It’s very tempting to help your children in a way that robs them of the opportunity to help themselves.
12. Pray for them always.  Never underestimate the power of prayers, it goes a long way. prayer changes things.

Read: How to be a Good Mother: A Guide to Doing Your Best by Your Children