GETTING OVER BAD HABITS

Bad Habits

Humans are a combinations of habits,some are inborn and a larger percentage are as a result of the environment we live in,friends we keep , information from the  media that we expose ourselves to. While it is often stated that it takes 61 days of  constantly carrying out an activity before it becomes a habit, this  particular statement really carries no weight. Habit formation depends largely on will power,motivation and ambition. If one simply targets carrying out a particular habit for 61 days and then stops, believing it is now a habit, then such a person might be in for a shocker. This goes both ways for both picking up and dropping habits. 

 Habits are basically   a result of influence, and we are constantly influenced every day by things we see and hear.Habits can only be built up if  the particular source of influence for that particular habit is maintained and kept as strong as it was initially  until it is not needed any more, which could be in 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years or 30 years. 

This singular statement categories habits into 

1. Influenced habits.- which are habits that still require the particular source of influence that created them .

2.Independent habits- which are habits that are either inborn and require no direct source of influence or have become what is called "second nature', that requires little or no influence for their continuous existence.

What makes a habit bad?

A habit becomes bad if it limits the owner in fulfilling his day to day activities or achieving substantial laid down life goals, or reduces self worth, or is illegal. Habits are either good or bad,in some cases though a good habit might become bad and sometimes some bad habits might become good.

How do you overcome bad habits?

1. Eradicating the influence: The very first step of overcoming bad habits is to eradicate the influence. To eradicate the influence, you have to first identify it. Influences may come from friends, relatives , beliefs, society, past experiences and the media. The eradication of influences would be important for getting over influenced bad habits.A person might be promiscuous because of certain friendships or media exposure that constantly feeds the bad habit as an example.

Watching the Real Housewives of  everything  is a bad habit
and  to eradicate the influence, this television has to go

2. Redirecting the influence:  

I am redirecting my masturbation bad habit into several push ups

Some habits however are  as a result of an indirect influence, which cannot be eradicated  Such influences include past experiences or societal beliefs and values. In such cases, such influences have to be redirected.You have to understand what influences have indirectly brought about the bad habits and find a way of redirecting these influences to other new habits. So anytime you feel obligated to carry out such bad habits due to influences which cannot be directly eradicated  you  simply do something else. This takes self awareness and mastery. There are several cases of people who do something like cleaning or baking when they are under an uncontrollable influence to do something, they consider a bad habit such as smoking etc.

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3.Training your mind. 

I am using this ball to remind myself that the earth is Spherical
and math is just like the game of soccer.

There are still those bad habits that are second nature sans direct or indirect influence. This has to be replaced with something productive.Replacing them however should be done with something or activities that would totally keep your mind off it. It requires constant training done by trial and error, it is a process that you have to be aware of and keep milestones and focus. Use paper tags to remind you of it, make yourself aware of the benefits you stand to gain from getting over that bad habit.

4. Releasing the Guilt and shame: 

Oh please! I would not wet myself again because i am now 21

Without this singular act of releasing any form of guilt and shame associated with the bad habit, you might never get over them. In the process of getting over bad habits, there are days you might fail, there are days you might take steps backward but the cliche is to worry yourself about it and fill yourself with remorse. This is dangerous, as the remorse sends a message of justification and vindication to your subconscious. When you find yourself at high temptation periods where you are under a strong influence to carry out your bad habit, your subconscious assures you that you are going to feel remorse after the act , so you can go ahead and do it. So the remorse would let you feel content and you would continue in the cycle. When you fall, get up, don't fret, tell yourself you are on a process and though it takes time, you would make it,because you can. 

5. Weighing your Options: 

Steven Aitchison said that" people never really change, they only change when the option of not changing far outweighs the options of remaining the same. In which case, " if i don't stop cheating, i would lose my beautiful marriage"," if i don't stop overeating, i would have a weight related disease", "if i don't stop smoking, this lung cancer would kill me'." if i don't change my attitude, i would lose my job". When your subconsious fully realises this, then change is inevitable. The influences would be erradicted, redirected and the mind would be well trained. WIthout that, the bad habit might successfully recede only to pop up someday based on favourable situations and circumstances.

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DIRECTION

Direction.

Ruth 1

 "1 In the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land. So a man from Bethlehem in Judah, together with his wife and two sons, went to live for a while in the country of Moab. 2 The man’s name was Elimelech, his wife’s name was Naomi, and the names of his two were Mahlon and Kilion."

  In the above passage we see a man  take a decision to follow a direction based on his present condition and location, in the bid to avoid suffering and hardship from the famine which was in the land.  He went ahead with his wife and children. remember we are looking at direction.

 Jeremiah  1:5  says

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,   before you were born I set you apart;   I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

1 Corin 6:19 says

" Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own".

 In verse 12,

"it says that everything is permissible to me but not everything is beneficial",

It also goes to say that  you are not  your own in other words, the lord owns us, in jeremiah we see God telling  jeremiah that before he was formed , he had an assignment. The same thing applies to everyone on earth , we are not here to follow the crowd and make decisons based on popular perceptions . Whatever the circumstances surrounding your births, God has a plan and assignment for you and a direction for you to follow.

We have come to discover that God’s plan for our life is location specific, you can not just afford to relocate anywhere, do anything, studyany course, work in any company because God has our master plan.

 Genesis 12

 " The LORD had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. 2 “I will make you into a great nation,    and I will bless you; I will make your name great,    and you will be a blessing.3 I will bless those who bless you,    and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth   will be blessed through you"

Direction

 In that verse we see that  God has a plan for Abram but it was location specific, if he had remained he wouldn't have been a great nation, if he had moved to a country where God did not show him none of God's promises  would hold.

When lot chose a land to dwell , he looked at the quality of the land, the soil and the logical benefits he felt he could get from that land but in the long run, he returned from that land empty handed. When a manufacturer creates a  machine, he also writes a product manual for it, a Direction for every user to follow, where the function which that machine is designed for would be stated and conditions for which it would operate, if the machine now decides to act like another different machine all it’s efforts would be frustrated and in the long run, it would amount to zero.

 A lot of us youths today because of the societal and parental pressures go ahead and studycourses that God did not lead them to, marry people God did not appoint them to, take up jobs that God did not direct them to and in the long run, it would definitely amount to nothing. A lot of people spend their whole lives living lives  that God has no idea about and they die like they never lived. God has deposited a lot of virtues in us, and a lot of us have the vision of what God wants us to be, but we need to go back and ask God for direction on how to get there, which job to take, which program to do , which town to move to. Elimelek   was caught in the moment of what was going on around him and he moved to another town, there he lost his life , all his sons  died, it was also important to note that in that land of moab they never had any more kids and  they lost all they had and came back penniless. In ten years from now the difference in people   now would be the difference in the God given Direction that each one has taken. Don’t just do anything, pray that God should direct you, life is too short to be lived running around in circles. , get DIRECTION

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Direction

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