youth development ~ ElijahForce

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Youth Development : The State of Dumbness

12:30 Emmanuel O,

The state of Dumbness.

We know there are dumb people in the world, that is never going to change, but what we don’t know is that the number of dumb people in the world is higher than we think. See it this way, the dumb man or woman doesn’t know that he is dumb, it takes a sharp intrusion of the common sense embedded in the cosmic sphere to get any one to come to the realization of dumbness. It also takes a further zeal and power of the person in question to come out of the alleys of dumbness and get over being dumb. Dumbness is in the street, on the side walk, on the television, being watched on television, being practiced as a way of life in some places around the world and maybe , just maybe, it’s just around the corner in between your ears and mine. If you think the sole purpose of this article is to let you know that you are as dumb as a door knob, you may be correct. If you also think the purpose of this article is to let you embrace your state of dumbness, you may also be correct. If you believe however that this article would help you deal with your state of intense dumbness, so you can get over it. You are correct!

I KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING

Have you ever heard this statement? Chances are, you have and most people who have said it , didn’t know what exactly they were saying. Being in a state of conflict and argument over everything is a great sign of being in a state of dumbness. Every response to your Facebook post , every YouTube comment that doesn’t go your way must be argued out until you let the other dummy know that you know what you are saying and eventually drown them in the pool of their own ignorance. Fact is, smart people don’t do that, their words are few, well thought of , well articulated, they don’t respond to every lousy exercise of the buccal cavity, they are not superficial, they are not dumb. Energy wasted on debates and arguments would be better channeled in youth development. The inability to listen when others speak or taking over a conversation all the time to drive it in your direction is also a surefire way of being not only dumb but being loud about it.

SEE THE PAIN YOU CAUSED ME, IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.

Words like this are bound be spoken by someone in a chronic state of dumbness. When people show you who they are , believe them. When you really see people for who they are as against who you think they should be, you would be doing yourself a lot of favour. Nobody would be able to cause you any harm if you have not in one way or the other permitted or encouraged it. The only problem here is , it takes a smart person to know and put that into practice.

NOBODY IS PERFECT

No!, dumb dumb, some people can do no wrong, not because they are perfect, but because they are smart enough not only to leverage on their strengths but also to effectively manage their weaknesses. When nobody is perfect becomes your sing-song and defense, you are in a state of dumbness. On the path to youth development lies excellence, Excellence is a talent or quality which is unusually good and so surpasses ordinary standards. Studies have shown that the most important way to achieve excellence is to practice .Excellence looks like perfection.

BOOKS ARE FOR NERDS

Books are for nerds and nerds rule the world. Books with deep, thought provoking and youth development enhancing content as against some mediocre fictional piece are what are actually refereed to as books . You are a product of the books you read or don’t. The universe would not reveal everything you need to know to you in a dream or a lightning flash, you would have to commit to finding it yourself among piles of bookswritten from inspiration and research or remain in a state of dumbness.

TIME FLIES

If it really does, then clocks would have been made in the shape of birds or airplanes. If you are stationary and something is moving away from you, there is a very high probability to overestimate it’s speed. Time management is something smart people know how to do well. If you always end up doing less than half of what you planned to do in a day, then you lack time management in both planning and execution, and you are dumb enough to think time is flying away from you.

SUCCESS

This is the greatest indication of dumbness. Being a failure is as a result of being in a constant state of dumbness. Smart people are usually able to leverage on their strengths, skills, knowledge, opportunities to give themselves somewhat of a success in their life. So if you still at the stage of wishful thinking and you are still trying to make a point to the world about how smart you are, hear it here first, Robert Heinlein was probably talking about you when he said, "never underestimate the power of human stupidity". Never Underestimate Your Dumbness

YOUTH DEVELOPMENT:CUT THE CRAP

11:03 Emmanuel O,

Youth development is the

"...the ongoing growth process in which all youth are engaged in attempting to (1) meet their basic personal and social needs to be safe, feel cared for, be valued, be useful, and be spiritually grounded, and (2) to build skills and competencies that allow them to function and contribute in their daily lives."

Youth development is basically about cutting the crap out of our lives and forging ahead to make things right. Here are a list of crap you need to cut from your life.

1. Surrounding yourself with the wrong people:

I used to be in love with an asshole, until I realized the relationship was only turning me into an asshole myself , so I cut the crap. Being in parasitic relationships does no one any good, same as being friends with envious and jealous people. When the people you surround yourself with don’t give a damn about you but you are till trying to tag along for whatever reason is just complete bulls. Cut the crap!. You would have to bend over backwards for them and yet you would still not be a standard member of the clique, so why waste your time? Life is very short and full of challenges, the best you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with people that can motivate you and you can motivate likewise, people that can gear you on and people that would want to see you succeed. Cut the crap!, There are 7 billion people in the world and the only reason we are split into different races and countries,states and towns is because we can’t all be friends. Cut the crap!

2. Doing activities to keep you from being bored:

Youth development is an ongoing process, it never stops . To get to the level of being able to function and contribute positively to your life and lives of others require work. If you find yourself getting bored everyday, then you know you are not doing anything in your life to attain youth development. If you are acquiring skill, getting education, starting a business or working, you wouldn't be laid back in bed getting bored. Cut the crap!. Those Facebook posts only make you sound stupid. “I’m going to bed now,” “ I am so bored”.WTF? (Welcome to Facebook).

3. Window shopping:

Stop buying into the crap that the media houses are selling to you , you don’t need some kind of synchronized mesmerized noise to get you to sleep, after a job well done, sleep comes except you are suffering from insomnia. There are a lot of crap advertised with all sorts of discounts, when you were never going to buy it anyway.When buying anything, you have to ask yourself, what the purpose is? Is it for health reasons, for medical reasons, for hygiene purposes etc . Once you cannot basically say what you are buying something for , apart from to urge to show off, then you need to cut the crap and save that money.

4. Waiting for tomorrow while today wastes:

This is the most common mistake of man ,youths particularly. Stop waiting for the economy to improve, it just might never, stop waiting for things to become normal, it is not normal for things to be normal, it’s just the way life is. Moving against the tides is what cultivates strength and growth and subsequently youth development. Getting your mind from the present to that fictitious place in your head where things are perfect and everything works your way, is a waste of useful mind energy, cut the crap. That energy would have been better used in tackling logically, the issues of the present to attain youth development and of course a better future.

RELATED POSTS: YOUTH DEVELOPMENT-YOUR CHOICE , YOUR FUTURE

5. Wasting your time following celebrities:

Reality Television is the biggest crap ever invented and it’s not going away anytime soon. It’s a multi billion dollar industry on it’s own all around the world, where amateur talents are either exploited or no talents are made to do what it is they do and for people to spend their lives following this fictitious reality characters is just complete absurd. Seriously you need to cut the crap. You have your life to live and you have to live it now. Those people don't even know you and never well, you would even be embarrassed if you try to act like you know them in the mall. Because they don't know you. Instead make yourself someone people want to see and meet and work with.

Now Cut the CRAP, Resolve Your Problemsand get to youth development.

START A BUSINESS: Questions to Ask Yourself

14:12 Emmanuel O,

Business, youth development, Questions to ask

According to Wikipedia, a Business is an “ organization” involved in the trade of goods and services or both to consumers. Anything that involves selling of goods and rendering service for cash to anybody is a business, although it would be more appropriate to use the business term if the “organization” was registered with appropriate bodies.

This article on starting a business helps to answer the first five questions to ask yourself when you intend to start a business and provide accurate answers.

WHY?

Why should you start a business?. According to startups.co.uk, you can start a business so that you become your own boss, run your own life, specialize on interests, open multiple streams of income and maybe make that big dream of yours finally come true. Starting a business might also be the only way you can fulfill your destiny and not have regrets when you are on your death bed or at the pearly white gates.

I need to start a business, so I can finally spend time in the spa

WHAT?

What business exactly are you going to start? In other words what goods or services are you going to offer and subsequently to whom? Two main factors determine what business to start,

1. Your Interests:

If you intend to start a business that would be around for a long time, the best thing you can do for yourself is to start it, in your area of interest. Those things that come to you naturally.You have to lay back and look inward to discover your interests. Is it sports, Lifestyle, Cuisine Fashion, Nature or Music? Let your business be centered around your interest otherwise the business would be a living hell.

2. Your Skills and Expertise:

Start a business that you are skilled enough to run. Based on natural skills or acquired skills, your area of business should be something you are good at, for you to break even. No matter how many staff or workers you have, who handle things for you, your skills and expertise and continued development in that area would go a long way in influencing your decisions and making your business thrive. High net worth individuals have been known to go for some conferences, seminars or classes when they want to diversify into other areas of business.

Million dollar Idea: Live Sized Lizard Earrings.

WHERE?

Where to start a business is also a very important question to ask yourself when you finally figure out what business to start. The concept of selling ice to Eskimos is simply preposterous. Your essence in life shouldn't be to supply goods and services to people that don’t need them. Your essence would be to meet a need, provide a needed service and at times needs can be location specific. Some goods or services might best be needed overseas and not in your neighborhood. Figuring out where exactly your business would thrive also depends on two main factors.

1. Environmental Factors:

You should start a business in an environment with some considerably favorable factors. Factors would never be 100% favorable but starting a business in a place that makes the business dead on arrival is about a waste of time as not starting a business at all.

2. Prevailing Factors:

Almost like the first, economy, purchasing power of the environment, government regulations, competition should all be considered when starting a business. Here you would need to do market research.

OMG! This is the perfect place to start my business.

WHEN?

This question can be broken down into three.

1. When is take off time?

When do you begin a business. The answer to this question is not some vague suggestion like when I get married, or when I get tired of my present job, or when I need money or when the economy improves. It should be down to specifics with particular dates and time, that's the only way you are ever going to start a business.

2. When should the operating hours of the business be?

This is a question to ask yourself, are you going to work on weekends, it is going to be a freelance job that would be based on client timing, would there be holidays, vacations, breaks etc. This question gives you the structure of how your business would look like.

3. When am I expected to break even or pull the plugs?

This is a very critical question to ask yourself, what is the expected boom date of the business with consideration for over or underestimation?

The best time to start a business was 20 years ago in China

HOW?

This question can only be asked after you have successfully provided answers to the previous questions. How are you going to start the business and get it up and running. Are you going to buy a franchise or merge with a company? How are you going to raise capital, establish contacts, develop a customer base and move sales, how would your products look like, what would your values be?. All aspects of branding , business plan and business development falls here and makes this the most important question.

I am going to start an invisible business, and would have a billion invisible customers.

To start a business , there are questions to ask yourself such as why, what, where, when and how you are going to go about it.

Further Reading: Start Your Own Business, Fifth Edition: The Only Start-Up Book You'll Ever Need

JOB OFFER QUESTIONS

01:00 Emmanuel O,

JOB OFFER QUESTIONS.

Job offers, youth development, questions to ask,

Every now and then, a job offer comes one's way but it's usually preceded by some tough questions. The answers to these job offer questions would further determine if the job would be given or the interviewee would be shown the door. The following job offer questions are usually common in interviews and each of these questions are followed by guidelines to providing the best answers.

1. Tell us about yourself.

To answer this question,keep it short and precise. Start with your name, your objective and drive, your education and your relevant work experience. Ensure that all you say correlates with what you have written on the resume.

2. What do you know about our company?

To answer this job offer questions, you need to have done your research in terms of the mission and vision of the company, the products and services they offer, their brand, reputation and image and also a little bit of their competitor’s.In answering this job offer questions, you should keep the name of the company in your answer. “Thanks for that question, ABC company prides itself amongst the leading providers of XYZ nationwide, it has a yearly revenue of CDE with investments in FGH. To answer this question correctly you would need to have done your homework on the company.

3. Why do you want to work with us?

In answering these question you need to leave out all the benefits you hope to get from the company, because the benefits would be as a result of what you can do for the company. You should instead talk about the needs of the company and how you are equipped to fill it. For big companies in which you might not really make much impact maybe as an entry level trainee, you would have to talk about the need of the company in building a team of hard working , dedicated and motivational people which you are one. “ ERF is in constant need of a proactive and high flyer at all areas of it’s business to forge ahead, I believe I am able to satisfy that skill based on my skills and talents", Also you might also say things that the company is involved in and supports and let them know you want to be a part of a company that carries out such social responsibility because you have a passion for such .

RELATED POSTS: JOB OFFER: QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

4. So why should we hire you?

Here, you have to answer this job offer questions based on the highlights of your resume without appearing egotistic . I believe you should hire me because of my track record of success, my leadership experience and my touch of excellence and ability of getting things done. In whatever you say, you must ensure that your answers with this job offer questions aligns with the requirements of the job that was stated in the job opening. If you can quote what the job opening says while stating that you have those qualities is a plus. Let your ability, experience and energy show forth.

5. What do you think a [position you are being interviewed for] really is?

For this job offer question you still need to fall back on the requirements stated in the advert of the position, It would really come in handy because your idea of that position might be different from the company’s idea of that same position.

6. How long do you think it would take you to settle down and how long would you be with us.

Your settling down period should be as short as possible, immediately would be the best answer here and letting the company know that you would continually be with them as long as there are new hurdles to climb, and new challenges.

7. What pay are you expecting ?

For this question you have to have also done your research about how much they pay for that position, it’s always good to state an amount close to what they pay, not too high or too low. Here are the 7 most common job offer questions.

For a longer list of 25 job offer questions click here.
For a list of 202 job offer questions and their answers click here

JOB OFFER: QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR EMPLOYER

10:39 Emmanuel O,

Whenever you get a job offer, there are certain questions you need to ask yourself, the employer and someone who would be able to answer some questions about the job offer and the company truthfully and give professional advice concerning the job and career path.

The most important questions are the ones you ask your employer second only to the ones you ask yourself.

The distinction of these questions according to whom to ask would go a long way in ensuring your development, your progress, your life plan and would afford you a clearer picture of your goal and purpose on the job.

The questions you ask your employer gives the employer an instant impression of you and might determine further assignment or deployment in the company. The most suitable time to ask your employer questions is mostly during the job offer interview and then during the first resumption meeting.

The major advantage of questions to ask your employer is to let them have a good impression of you upon a job offer. For you to come out as smart enough to get the job, you should have done your research on the company. When people think of company research for job offer interviews, they think history of the company. History of the company is just a minimal part of the comprehensive research.

You should be able to find out what profits the company is recording, who the competitors of the company are and what steps if any, is the company taking to outshine it’s competitors. You should know the business direction the company is taking or about to take, the products the company is offering and any new products in the pipeline.

Questions to the employer should now be based on these researched issues. Questions like, this company made a remarkable outing last year, what steps are in place to improve on last year’s returns ? This company’s competitor, XYZ is really defaulting in this particular area, is there a way you think the company can leverage on this fact ?

Can I ask a question? Can we grab a cup of coffee after this interview?

Some of these questions would be answered and then thrown back at you for completion or a better answer , so you must have prepared yourself for the best answer possible to these questions. In answering them, you might find yourself and your employer trying to choose which answer is the best, in such cases, you always let the employer win , so as not to sound stubborn and head headed, remember, the essence of these questions is to give the employer a good impression of you upon a job offer. In asking these questions you would also need to have the appropriate terminology and slangs used in the organization.

It’s always good to ask the employer this question,

“ what else do you think I need to know about this position to be able to function well in it? and “ are there any other assignments and jobs that are not included in the job offer that I might be required to take up at any point in time?”

Always remember that the goal of questions to ask your employer during an interview or a resumption meeting after a job offer should be to give a good impression of yourself to the employer. To show the employer that you really care about the growth of the company and that you are willing to do all in your power to make the company grow by manning your own position well and it would be a plus if you really do.

RELATED POSTS: JOB OFFER: MY EXPERIENCE | JOB OFFER QUESTIONS

All questions to the employer should be devoid of personal benefits questions,health of the company, your colleagues and boss those are questions meant for a professional adviser, or a potential colleague. Stay calm, speak eloquently and smile.

GUN CONTROL- A POEM

09:52 Emmanuel O,

Gun Control- A Poem

Gun control, youth , guns, control, youth development,

Gun control? I'll shoot them all dead.

“Your money or your life?”He shouted aloud
He had a gun
He had the guts
He also had the control
“I want all your profits”
“I want all the expensive things you got”
His mother loved him
His father adored him
So he got an ice cream
Funny, smart
He made the people laugh

Why are the people no longer laughing?

LETTER TO MY FORMER SELF

10:56 Emmanuel O,

A Letter To My Former Self

In the words of Eric Cantona, “he who has regrets cannot look at himself in the mirror”. Today when I look into the mirror, I see someone else , someone that you would become ,living a life, retracing your steps. Your absurdity is quite laughable, your recklessness unimaginable, taking a decision as vital as your life career to the betting table, altering the course of your career, your life.

Life may not give you second chances and yet you are giving away the opportunity that it has generously tossed at you. You are a bright student and you know it . Good grades, good co-curricular activities, active participation, the perfect high school dream.

Yet, you are following the band wagon in taking the pivotal decision of the stream you must choose, Engineering!. What is that lump in your throat, that voice in your head screaming not to take the plunge?; it’s saying you will never be happy working with java, diodes, transistors and what not. But you seem to be taking it all as a basket case, barking the wrong tree, following the rollercoaster of peers opting for the same. It seems friendship is the only flower that you must attend to, engineering is the only way out and today I stand in front of my mirror and laugh at you, I’m laughing so hard my chest hurts, you are wrong in so many ways.

In a few years, the scales would fall from your eyes when you push yourself to the brink of devastation. When you toil for four long years in engineering college. You would suddenly know without any doubt that you were meant to be an arts’ student. The love for literature, historical romances, the characters in Shakespearian plays that once tugged to the chords of your heart would begin to haunt you because , you turned a deaf ear to all of it as you crush your interests in the grilling engineering college chasing pavements while falling under the burden of one lecture above the other.

The years would keep rolling in their tormenting speed. Being the bright student that you are, you would manage to get good grades. You would even land a job but even then you would loathe yourself for taking this decision ..

Some day you would work in one of the largest IT companies in this country and you would still be brimming with regret. Your first pay check, would be a slap on your face. You would think you would feel elated and the regrets would disappear but that day you would be blown off your trolley, your dreams and perceptions shattered; You would feel nothing more than a twinge of remorse and regret at living a life which you do not cherish.

Yes that one decision of yours would deprive you the pleasure of having your first pay check.

It would rob you of the motivation to get up from your bed daily, and there would be that feeling like something in your life is missing .

Amidst such pangs of depression, I took a leap of faith. I started writing as it helped me air my thoughts and gave words to my feelings. It did not take me long to realize that this was the field I was passionate about. I started spending more time on it, and came up with this idea of writing you.

I chose not only to write you but also to write my future self. My future self ,devoid of the big mountain of regret. I put in a lot of work, started from the scratch and got myself listed as a writer , an established freelance writer. blossoming everyday . I now take online classes on philosophy and pursue my dreams in literature.

My future self would look back at me and write me a letter , thanking me for the courage to begin again, to take responsibility for my own life, to rewrite my wrongs and most of all for letting you know that the effects of your childish decisions are over, starting from today.
Further Reading:Choosing Your Career

RELATED POSTS: LETTER TO MY MOTHER |LETTER TO MY RAPIST.

JOB OFFER:MY JOB EXPERIENCE

05:26 Emmanuel O,

I have never been lucky with bosses. I have had two bosses, the first nearly drove me to an early grave, and the other almost made me resign. Sometimes I still hear the voice of my very first boss in my head .

Getting a job offer in Africa, Nigeria can be very laudable where the unemployment rate is very high. Every year about fifty thousand graduates leaving the mandatory one year youth paramilitary service after the university have to contend to get the less than ten thousand corporate jobs offers available in the labour market.So it was a great privilege to have a job to call yours and my boss knew this fact as well. My job search success was further facilitated by the possession of a master’s degree in Petroleum Geology and a referral. It was really exhilarating when I finally picked up this job offer as a graduate in training at this company, an Oil and Gas servicing company in Lagos, Nigeria, a privately owned company and that seemed to be the first problem,it was privately owned. Owned, by my boss.

The company rendered both consultancy and technical off shore services to the oil companies. It took me over a month after i resumed to get my job offer letter drafted and to discover that my pay was about $300 a month. My job was to prepare tenders for the services we rendered for the oil companies and I, being a fast learner, learnt fast.

My first day at work was met with a warm welcome by my boss , a tall skinny, dark complexioned man in his early fifties and he quickly introduced me to everyone, who all didn’t seem interested in meeting me but rather had this questioning looks that seemed to ask “What are you doing here?” I cared less about their reaction as I was happy to finally get a job offer related to my field of study. He then told me to get to work and left into his adjoining office. I took a seat then watched as everyone seemed not to notice me; I decided to ask a few questions that were met with sharp answers from the lady who doubled as a receptionist and office secretary.

Half an hour later,

my boss stepped out of his office and looked at me and said the oddest words ever with a firm loud voice, "get to work: be a tool not a fool, that’s how we work here’’. I had not been giving any assignment and I was actually trying to get someone to tell me what next to do. I then asked the secretary what he meant by that, then she smiled, welcome to the company, sit with someone in the other office and look into a monitor.

My co-workers only smiled that day when their cheques were handed to them, I had resumed at the middle of a month and I could only help but wonder what month they were being paid for as salaries were to be paid on montly basis based on what was on the job offer leter. The comments they made were stunning and quite confusing but most of all, I was glad to have a job. Those were early signs I was blinded to. Signs that should have made me turn down the oral job offer in the very first instance.

Working conditions, especially staffing were abysmal, resources and equipments were not readily available and working in the most populated, traffic plagued city in Africa was also a minus. But all that were just a piece of cake compared to the real issue, my boss.

He was the owner of the company and seemed to have broken even on the business and was now diverting money into other businesses, leaving the office with little running cost. His extreme cost-cutting measure made all the seven staff double as something in a company getting jobs worth between $250,000 and $1,000,000:00 .The office was being run by the settlements of the oil companies we were rendering services to and so our salaries came from a minute fraction of the company’s settlement, when the company was settled. Each Month's salary seemed to be tied to some settlements which due to client's company and bank protocols never seemed to fall at the time when our salaries were due. This was obviously never stated in the Job offer letter. Worst of all, my boss had the slave- master mentality, asking for out -of -job favours which turned out to be instructions such as picking his kids from school, booking his wife with the spa , buying him lunch which were stylishly wrapped in submitting proposal and tenders on behalf of the company while still working as a coporate pimp, arranging call-girls for him on Friday nights which I soon later discovered was a big part of my job description and then he was extremely difficult to satisfy, he would scream and yell at any slightest opportunity and then start a war . “My office Air conditioner is not working”, “you didn’t pick my kids from school”,” my office is too rowdy”,” your tenders are too sloppy”, “you are a jerk”, “don’t act like a fool be a tool “,”do you think this is how I ran the business for years till I broke even”?

‘’You are not working for the progress of the company”,” you are an enemy of the company”,” I’ll throw you back to the streets before you ruin my business “and he then threatens to hit an employee.

The real job was staying in that job and keeping a happy face and living on your stipend like this was the last because the date of the next one was not ascertained. But I did, I always made sure I had something to smile about and my smile was pretty soon contagious and the atmosphere at work changed. Sometimes people talk about suing the boss for delaying salaries but where would the money to hire a lawyer come from ?, plus employment laws were as lax as they get in that environmnet ,more so, you always had the option of quitting.

My resolution was to leave the troubles of work at work, learn something each day while trying as much as possible to get out of the line of fire with the boss. I also made every day a job search day , hoping to get a new job offer and after nine months on the job and two months unpaid salaries I left the job for another where my knowledge of the oil and gas business and proposal writing gave me an edge.My resignation letter was in a text message. ”I’m out sir, thank you so much for everything”.

RELATED POST: JOB OFFER: QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR EMPLOYER

He was furious and told me about protocol. I also refered him to the Job offer letter that stated we were to be paid monthly not bi-monthly.

He taught me how not to ever expect the word “thank you” or” well done” and I made sure, i would be missed because I was the only one who offered him a hand of friendship irrespective of his many flaws and overworked myself to please him sleeping in the office in a non paying job to prepare papers to be submitted the next day and yes he confessed it and offered me a raise if I came back but of course it was too late.

In an environment like that, where the jobs are scarce I am sure that getting people would not be a problem for him but it would be difficult to find the ones that would put up with all his shenenigans .

The only thing my present boss does is come to work, take lunch breaks and go back home. I handle everything. He always says, “I know you know what to do” and yes he is right, I know what to do, apply for his position which I just did.

More stories in Job One: Experiences of New Professionals in Student Affairs (American College Personnel Association Series)

PERMISSIBLE NOT BENEFICIAL

09:55 Emmanuel O,

Now, a lot of things are permissible but not beneficial. As far as the law is concerned, depending on where you live or what you do, most of these things are relatively permissible in the most liberal of all countries and even practiced in those overly restrictive and conservative countries. These things are not only not beneficial to youth development or fulfillment of life but in most cases are detrimental to life.

1. Recreational Drugs:

Drugs are bad

With the exception of tea, coffee, caffeine which surprisingly also fall under the broad term of recreational drugs, mind altering substances come with no benefit. Actually, it comes with a pseudo benefit, mind altering. There are reported cases of persons being at their peak performance when drugs like cocaine, marijuana and ethanol(alcohol) have been ingested. This cannot be disputed, as the mind altering ability of these drugs enable the consumer to harness the fruits of his mind. The down turn of this , is when you have to use an external catalyst to conquer your mind that would eventually make you addicted, destroy your health and put your reputation in question, then it is not worth. It is actually the lazy way out and it always comes back to bite. To harness the fruits of your mind, clear your head, take a warm bath, listen to jazz music, eat fish, drink milk, meditate and take a quick nap. They would in the long run help you learn mind control, save you from depression, give you a good health and make you look younger than your age.

Addiction and Recovery For Dummies

2. Home Wrecking:

This is one thing that is quite permissible in some parts of the world but not beneficial in anyway. Home Wrecking is when a married/unmarried person goes ahead to have a relationship with a married person with the intention of breaking up the marriage. In African countries, it is common practice for single ladies to go out with married men for cash, companionship and some other privileges This never became so poignant as when a single Nigerian actress advised single ladies via media to go after married man if that is what they want. It sucks to be the other woman and it always will. Worst still, to be regarded as a mistake , a home wrecker. As men grow older, they eventually come to the realization of the mistakes they had made in their youth and often times they make restitution. And these restitution mostly doesn't favour the mistress. Let marriage be the deal breaker in any relationship for you.

The lady is a self acclaimed husband snatcher, unfortunately
she is late now.

3. Promiscuity:

In some parts of the world, middle east to be precise, drastic laws are in place against promiscuity mostly appearing misogynistic .It appears so because the major culprits of promiscuity is the male gender but most of those laws seem targeted mainly towards women. It got so bad recently in Pakistan that a girl was sentenced to jail after she was supposedly raped. The downside of promiscuity is that it becomes really difficult to settle down with one, when stability is seriously needed. It is totally permissible in most parts of the world but not beneficial.

Evidence?

4. Impulse Eating:

For Food only

Humans live for their bellies. We need to stop emotional eating. You need to start eating to stay alive and healthy and not eating to rid you of a particular emotion or fill you with another. Impulse eating would only make you obese, unhealthy and take you to an early grave. You should instead take water as an oral fixation, you can never go wrong with that.

Life Extension Natural Appetite Control, Softgels, 90-Count

5. Cultism:

there are two kinds of cultism, there is the one common among youths in high school, tertiary institutions, societies and communities. These kinds have no immediate or long time benefit, except for what they call protection ,which is in most cases just a way of terrorizing others to validate themselves. These are the types involved in hazing, ragging, jack rolling, initiations and lots of unethical practices. It never ends well, it always leads to loss of life and destiny. The other type is the high profile cult in high places of government and leadership, this cults seem to guarantee power and prosperity but they are all served on a plate reeking of bloodshed, ruthlessness and evil, which eventually ruins the soul .Join a book club, a progressive group, a youth group, something that would edify you without paying a price as high as your soul.

6. Pornography:

This is one of the most permissible but highly unbeneficial issue in the world. Most people confuse pornography with sex manuals and guides. They get stuck in the lies that it presents based on imaginary fantasies. You can never learn to be a good companion from pornography except you are preparing to be a porn star or marry one. The acts are completely devoid of true feelings and the original beauty of sex, worst still, it reduces the female gender mostly to a sex object who is just supposed to act out some kinky script.

Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame

7. Malice:

Malice eats your soul

Malice is totally permissible all over the world, but not beneficial. It is a negative energy harbouring in your entity and it would only wear out your bones. Similar to this is revenge. The negative energy they generate reduces the positive and useful energy you need to get on with your life and make yourself somebody. Malice is the desire to cause pain , injury or hurt to another.

8. Bigotry:

This is mostly as a result of difference in religion.A lot of people in the world have come to the knowledge of a greater power which is the source of life as we know it and reference it. This has somehow paved way for man-made religion, which is often times laced with hypocrisy and deception. As a result of this, hatred and intolerance has been sown in the hearts of men who have ignorantly forsaken their faith and have taken up religion as a vindication for themselves. Bigotry has the same effect as malice and revenge , it destroys the soul and eventually deprives you of what you wanted in the first place, a soul communion with God.

9. Impression Management:

Most corporate companies actually have departments who are in charge of impression management. This is basically not only bothering yourself about what others think about you but in most cases going all the way to determine what they think about you. The truth about this, is that it always fails all the time even for corporate bodies. The best rule of impression management is being yourself and constantly improving yourself and maintaining a state of influence and empowerment. That way, you rub on the people around you the right way and they see you as real, not a propaganda or a bloody commercial.

10. Foul language:

The use of foul language for emphasis or to express anger, intolerance or disgust is not beneficial. It is considered to be lazy speech and causes the user to appear uneducated. Use of foul or obscene language at inappropriate times or places can taint your reputation, cost you friendships, or even ruin your chance at advancement in a career. It might also be considered disrespectful and you may actually be seen as having very low moral standards which may hinder your advancement. There are a lot more of these permissible habits , altitudes and personalities which overall has no remarkable benefit but mostly get you in harm’s way

JOB OFFER: QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

07:27 Emmanuel O,

Job offers can be very exciting when they are received especially after a long time of waiting for one or searching for one. The joy usually overshadows reason and curiosity most of the time until way later into the job. There are a lot of questions to ask when you receive a job offer. Questions to ask yourself, the employer and someone who might be able to dish out advise on certain issues pertaining to a specific industry. The most important of all these questions are the ones you should ask yourself after a job offer.

First you have to know who you are " who are you?". This is the biggest question that anyone could ever ask oneself. In answering this question, most people make the mistake of talking about what they have or what they hope to possess but shy away from the real answer to the question, which is asking about that entity that is you. The question can be rephrased into “ what is you?” . This is what you have to first figure out. What are you gravitating towards, what is your whole existence all about? Then you can look at a job offer and ask the right questions because in the long run contrary to what people say, your job is who you are. That is why when people die, their obituary in the news reads, village chief dies at 50, veteran actor slumps to his death, bus conductor yells to death etc…….

Now, jobs are of two types.

1. The jobs that help you earn a living

2. The jobs that help you make your life.

Salary or benefit isn't a criteria for this two groupings, contrary to what you may be thinking.

The jobs that help you earn a living are those jobs that don’t conform to the person who you are-your entity but are needed at some time in your life to help you pay the bills, get some comfort , get ahead in life, keep the body and soul together or afford you the resources with which you can use in preparing yourself for your life goal.

The jobs that help you make a life are those jobs that are a big fraction of your entity, they make your life, they make you, they fulfill your destiny , the job is you.

Armed with this knowledge, you would have to group your job offer into one of these two jobs. Unfortunately most people mix up working for a living with working for a life. A lot of people spend their whole lives working for a living, and then someday get fired, retrenched or retired and then they ask themselves, what next?

RELATED POSTS: JOB OFFER:MY JOB EXPERIENCE | JOB OFFER QUESTIONS

FOR A LIVING.

1. What is the job offering?

Give me the money, i need to go to Mars

The real essence of this job is the benefits that it comes with , with which you hope to redirect your life. This job is to present you with the empowerment with which to build up your destiny. It could be a job that doesn’t require much skill or expertise .It could also be a very high paying job which although is high paying brings no fulfillment in the long run. So what exactly is the job offer? The salary, health insurance, vacation, illness bonuses, growth, travel allowances, job security. Can all the job is offering get you by.

2. For how long?

How long can you work there, how long would the job need you and how long would you need the job. For example, the ultimate job of a person might be writing, script writing, novel writing, blogging or academic writing and would probably need 3 years to get out his first work or something meaningful for that matter and so if such a person picks up a job as a customer service personnel in an I.T firm, he has to be able to keep that job at least for about 3 ½ years while still creating time to fulfill his ultimate job which is writing. Taking a year contract job might cause a disrupt in the creative process of writing for the writer. If he has to be jobless after one year with bills to pay and all, it would definitely affect the person. How long would the job be available? Some times,some jobs might also come with bonds that tie down the person even when he is ready to leave. You have to make sure all these things align.

3. When is take off time?

This is always much more fun

Mixed with Good Advertisement and Marketing

Than this

When would you tell the organization to take the job and shove it figuratively and what are the policies and protocols involved in leaving the company. If you are working for a living, you have to have a take off time or you would eventually be taken down.

FOR A LIFE

One major test of knowing whether a job is your life, is if you can still go ahead and do that same job even if you weren’t paid for it. This kind of job fills you with much more energy even after you have spent hours on it. Some people are pushed into this jobs unconsciously by fate while some are not usually that lucky. A typical example is the case of a school teacher who taught for several years in middle school/high school/ secondary school while developing her culinary skills, she started small but never had the guts to branch out until she was eventually fired. She now runs a food chain which has recorded remarkable success. All the while, the catering business was just on the side, she catered for the school’s get together and birthday parties for the school students until the school downsized. Some times these jobs might initially not pay the bills or even be worth talking about but the joy and fulfillment that comes with them are priceless. At times, a person may have to work certain jobs because of the effect they would eventually have upon the person’s life goals.

1. What is the job description?

Some times you make have to work as a makeshift table
when there is a furniture overhaul.

What exactly would you be doing and how would it affect you in the near future , how would it align to your life goals. Which duties would you be allowed to handle yourself without supervision.

2. What are the opportunities available for development?

Are there sufficient trainings? Career development and exposure to catapult you to your goals.

3. Who are the kind of people you would be working with? Are they people that help and support you as you gravitate towards your life goal. What kind of temperament do people who work there have?

Whenever you get a job offer, the questions to ask yourself are countless, but the right answers to these questions would let you know if you should accept a job offer or reject it as soon as possible.

If these are the people you work with, you are either on a reality show
or on a photo shoot for shutter stock

Further Reading:The Fit Factors: The keys to choosing the right job and building a great career.

RELATED POST: JOB OFFER: QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR EMPLOYER | START A BUSINESS:QUESTIONS TO ASK

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