bad habits ~ ElijahForce bad habits
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Tuesday, 26 March 2013

PERMISSIBLE NOT BENEFICIAL

permissible not beneficial, bad habits
Now, a lot of things are permissible but not beneficial. As far as the law is concerned, depending on where you live or what you do, most of these things are relatively permissible in the most liberal of all countries and even practiced in those overly restrictive and conservative countries. These things are not only not beneficial to youth development or fulfillment of life but in most cases are detrimental to life.

1. Recreational Drugs:

permissible not beneficial, bad habits
Drugs are bad
 With the exception of tea, coffee, caffeine which surprisingly also fall under the broad term of recreational drugs, mind altering substances come with no benefit. Actually, it comes with a pseudo benefit, mind altering. There are reported cases of  persons being at their peak performance when drugs like cocaine, marijuana and ethanol(alcohol) have been ingested. This  cannot be disputed, as the mind altering ability of these drugs enable the  consumer to harness the fruits of his mind. The down turn of this , is when you have to use an external  catalyst to conquer your mind that would eventually make you addicted, destroy your health and put your reputation in question, then it is not worth. It is actually the lazy way out and it always comes back to bite. To harness the  fruits of your mind, clear your head, take a warm bath, listen to jazz music, eat fish, drink milk, meditate and take a quick nap. They would in the long run help you learn mind control, save you from depression, give you a good health and make you look younger than your age. 

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2. Home Wrecking:

 This is one thing that is quite permissible in some parts of the world but not beneficial in anyway. Home Wrecking is when a  married/unmarried  person goes ahead to have a relationship with a married person with the intention of breaking up the marriage. In African countries, it is common practice for single ladies to go out with married men for cash, companionship and some other privileges  This never became so poignant as when a single Nigerian  actress advised single ladies via media to go after married man if that is what they want. It sucks to be the other woman and it  always will. Worst still, to be regarded as a mistake , a home wrecker. As men grow older, they eventually come to the realization of the mistakes they had made in their youth and often times they make restitution. And these restitution mostly doesn't favour the mistress. Let marriage be the deal breaker in any relationship for you.
permissible not beneficial, bad habits
The lady is a self acclaimed husband snatcher, unfortunately
she is late now.


3. Promiscuity:

 In some parts of the world, middle east to be precise, drastic laws are in place against promiscuity mostly appearing misogynistic .It appears so because the major culprits of promiscuity is the male gender but most of those laws seem targeted mainly towards women. It got so bad recently in Pakistan that a girl was sentenced to jail after she was supposedly raped. The downside of promiscuity is that it becomes really difficult to settle down with one, when stability is seriously needed. It is totally permissible in most parts of the world but not beneficial. 
permissible not beneficial, bad habits
Evidence?




4. Impulse Eating:

permissible not beneficial, bad habits
For Food only
 Humans live for their bellies. We  need to stop emotional eating. You need to start eating to stay alive and healthy and not eating to rid you of a particular emotion or fill you with another. Impulse eating would only make you obese, unhealthy and take you to an early grave. You should instead take water as an oral fixation, you can never go wrong with that.
        
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5. Cultism: 

there are two kinds of cultism, there is the one common among youths in high school, tertiary institutions, societies and  communities. These kinds have no immediate or long time benefit, except for what they call protection ,which is in most cases just a way of terrorizing others to validate themselves. These are the types involved in hazing, ragging, jack rolling, initiations and lots of unethical practices. It never ends well, it always leads to loss of life and destiny. The other type is the high profile cult in high places of government and leadership, this cults seem to guarantee power and prosperity but they are all served on a plate reeking of bloodshed, ruthlessness and evil, which eventually ruins the soul .Join a book club, a progressive group, a youth group, something that would edify you without paying a price as  high  as  your soul.

6. Pornography: 

This is one of the most permissible but highly unbeneficial  issue in the world. Most people confuse pornography with sex manuals and guides. They get stuck in the lies that it presents based on imaginary fantasies. You can never  learn to be a good companion from pornography except you are preparing to be a porn star or marry one. The acts are completely devoid of true feelings and the original beauty of sex, worst still, it reduces the female gender mostly to a sex object who is just supposed to act out some kinky script.


Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Obsession, and Shame

7. Malice:

permissible not beneficial, bad habits
Malice eats your soul
 Malice is totally permissible all over the world, but not beneficial. It is a negative energy harbouring in your entity and it would only wear out your bones. Similar to this is revenge. The negative energy they generate reduces the positive and useful energy  you need to get on with your life and make yourself  somebody. Malice is the desire to cause pain , injury or hurt to another.

8. Bigotry: 

This is mostly as a result of difference in religion.A lot of people in the world have come to the knowledge of a greater power  which is the source of life as we know it and reference it. This has somehow paved way for man-made religion, which is often times laced with hypocrisy and deception. As a result of this, hatred and intolerance has been sown in the hearts of men who have ignorantly forsaken their faith and have taken up religion as a vindication for themselves. Bigotry has the same effect as malice and revenge , it destroys the soul and eventually deprives you  of what you wanted in the first place,  a soul communion with God.

9. Impression Management: 

Most corporate companies actually have departments who are in charge of impression management. This is basically not only bothering yourself about what others think about you but in most cases going all the way to determine what they think about you. The truth about this, is that it always fails all the time even for corporate bodies. The best rule of impression management is being yourself and constantly improving yourself  and maintaining a state of influence and empowerment.  That way, you rub on the people around you the right way and they see you as real, not a propaganda or a bloody commercial.

10. Foul language:






 The use of foul language for emphasis or to express anger, intolerance or disgust  is not beneficial.   It is considered  to be lazy speech and causes the user to appear uneducated. Use of foul or obscene language at inappropriate times or places can taint your reputation, cost you friendships, or even ruin your chance at advancement in a career. It might also be considered disrespectful and you may actually be seen as having very low moral standards which may hinder your advancement. There are a lot more of these permissible habits , altitudes and personalities which overall has no remarkable benefit but mostly get you in harm’s way

Friday, 1 March 2013

GETTING OVER BAD HABITS


bad habits
Bad Habits

Humans are a combinations of habits,some are inborn and a larger percentage are as a result of the environment we live in,friends we keep , information from the  media that we expose ourselves to. While it is often stated that it takes 61 days of  constantly carrying out an activity before it becomes a habit, this  particular statement really carries no weight. Habit formation depends largely on will power,motivation and ambition. If one simply targets carrying out a particular habit for 61 days and then stops, believing it is now a habit, then such a person might be in for a shocker. This goes both ways for both picking up and dropping habits. 

 Habits are basically   a result of influence, and we are constantly influenced every day by things we see and hear.Habits can only be built up if  the particular source of influence for that particular habit is maintained and kept as strong as it was initially  until it is not needed any more, which could be in 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years or 30 years. 

This singular statement categories habits into 
1. Influenced habits.- which are habits that still require the particular source of influence that created them .
2.Independent habits- which are habits that are either inborn and require no direct source of influence or have become what is called "second nature', that requires little or no influence for their continuous existence.

What makes a habit bad?

A habit becomes bad if it limits the owner in fulfilling his day to day activities or achieving substantial laid down life goals, or reduces self worth, or is illegal. Habits are either good or bad,in some cases though a good habit might become bad and sometimes some bad habits might become good.

How do you overcome bad habits?

1. Eradicating the influence: The very first step of overcoming bad habits is to eradicate the influence. To eradicate the influence, you have to first identify it. Influences may come from friends, relatives , beliefs, society, past experiences and the media. The eradication of influences would be important for getting over influenced bad habits.A person might be promiscuous because of certain friendships or media exposure that constantly feeds the bad habit as an example.

getting over bad habits
Watching the Real Housewives of  everything  is a bad habit
and  to eradicate the influence, this television has to go

2. Redirecting the influence:  

youth bad habits
I am redirecting my masturbation bad habit into several push ups
Some habits however are  as a result of an indirect influence, which cannot be eradicated  Such influences include past experiences or societal beliefs and values. In such cases, such influences have to be redirected.You have to understand what influences have indirectly brought about the bad habits and find a way of redirecting these influences to other new habits. So anytime you feel obligated to carry out such bad habits due to influences which cannot be directly eradicated  you  simply do something else. This takes self awareness and mastery. There are several cases of people who do something like cleaning or baking when they are under an uncontrollable influence to do something, they consider a bad habit such as smoking etc.
                                                                                                              RELATED POST:GETTING THINGS DONE-|HOW TO GET OVER YOUR EX

3.Training your mind. 

youth& bad habits
I am using this ball to remind myself that the earth is Spherical
and math is just like the game of soccer.
There are still those bad habits that are second nature sans direct or indirect influence. This has to be replaced with something productive.Replacing them however should be done with something or activities that would totally keep your mind off it. It requires constant training done by trial and error, it is a process that you have to be aware of and keep milestones and focus. Use paper tags to remind you of it, make yourself aware of the benefits you stand to gain from getting over that bad habit.

4. Releasing the Guilt and shame: 

getting over bad habits
Oh please! I would not wet myself again because i am now 21
Without this singular act of releasing any form of guilt and shame associated with the bad habit, you might never get over them. In the process of getting over bad habits, there are days you might fail, there are days you might take steps backward but the cliche is to worry yourself about it and fill yourself with remorse. This is dangerous, as the remorse sends a message of justification and vindication to your subconscious. When you find yourself at high temptation periods where you are under a strong influence to carry out your bad habit, your subconscious assures you that you are going to feel remorse after the act , so you can go ahead and do it. So the remorse would let you feel content and you would continue in the cycle. When you fall, get up, don't fret, tell yourself you are on a process and though it takes time, you would make it,because you can. 



5. Weighing your Options: 


Steven Aitchison said that" people never really change, they only change when the option of not changing far outweighs the options of remaining the same. In which case, " if i don't stop cheating, i would lose my beautiful marriage"," if i don't stop overeating, i would have a weight related disease", "if i don't stop smoking, this lung cancer would kill me'." if i don't change my attitude, i would lose my job". When your subconsious fully realises this, then change is inevitable. The influences would be erradicted, redirected and the mind would be well trained. WIthout that, the bad habit might successfully recede only to pop up someday based on favourable situations and circumstances.