marry ~ ElijahForce marry
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Sunday, 18 August 2013

Get Rich Get Married.

Get Rich, Get Married.
cecil $65 million
Have you ever thought of having $65 Million Dollars to your name without being Oprah, Owning a multimillion dollar business or being an actor, athlete or Business tycoon. The answer is simple, get married. Get married not, to the love of your life with a couple thousands in savings and a bucket load of untapped potentials, not to some dumb pro-baller hoping to get a huge divorce settlement when he becomes randy. No! Get married to  Cecil Chao Sze-tsung .
Cecil ‘s father, a Hong Kong property business tycoon has issued a bounty of about $65 million dollars for any Man who would marry his daughter,  the only problem here is that Cecil doesn’t like men, she is a Lesbian. 
Apart from being a lesbian, Cecil also has a wife who she married in Paris in 2012 where the  anti-homosexual laws are not  stringent. Her father on the other hand, not okay with the idea of his lovely daughter being a lesbian has put his money where his mouth is, in trying to get his girl to get married to  someone with a  penis.  
He said “I do not mind whether [the man who marries Gigi] is rich or poor. The important thing is that he is generous and kindhearted. Gigi is a very good woman with both talents and looks. She is devoted to her parents, is generous and does volunteer work.”
Cecil has simply laughed it off and said it was nice that her father really cared about her and was loving to her, and it was really sweet of him to do that. She went on to say that the reason her father was doing this was because he feared the way the public would view her. It is nothing strange for  a woman’s family to pay some kind of token for a man, like a he-goat in the animal farm. This practice though illegal now, is still very much practiced in places like India. What is however surprising is the offer to  pay $65 million dollars just to get your daughter a gold digger. And as expected Cecil had receives about 1500 emails daily all professing love and depicting ways in which they could convert a lesbian.


Getting  married to Cecil would not be a problem if you have a strategy and work towards it. The first thing is that you have to even know her or at least run within her circles( not google+ circles), to determine what she likes, how to woo her  and how to eventually cash in on all that money amidst accusations of being a gold digger by the whole world. She would have to ensure a break up with her present spouse  Sean Yeoug and then make her profess her love for you. You would probably need help from Richard L A Ruina, the author of The Natural: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want  in accomplishing this task. The chances of success however are  very slim as Cecil is 34 years and technically not a rich airhead. Like Adele said, “ you can have my number , but you would never have my heart “ or in this case my vagina and my father’s $65 million dollars , but good things happen to people who are patient enough to wait.
While you are reading this , if you are considering giving it a shot or letting  yourself get lost in the thoughts of how to woo Cecil, you are most likely in a state of  severe dumbness and you probably have never read the post wrong reasons to get married.

Saturday, 13 April 2013

WRONG REASONS TO GET MARRIED

WRONG REASONS TO GET MARRIED
wrong reasons to get married, marriage

Marriage is beautiful. However in recent times, we  have seen the great decline in straight marriages all across the world.
     Marriage, the once beautiful fruit seems to have left a bitter taste in the mouth of so many. “Why do I have to put up with someone else all my life?”, Jacqueline 28 had responded. A lot of people around the world have resorted to living together and open relationships. Why the decline in marriage can be linked to decline in earning power of men, protection of personal wealth and assets which might be lost in marriage and other behavioral abnormalities and beliefs. One of the major reasons for decline in the rate of marriage and increase in the rate of failed marriages are that people get into marriage for all the wrong reasons. They give themselves all the wrong reasons to get married and what makes these reasons wrong is that they cannot sustain a marriage and would rather bring an abrupt end to a marriage. We are going to explain a few here. 

1. Lust:

 One of the many  wrong reasons to  get  married is lust. It also happens to be the commonest reason why people get married. The thought of having a magazine cover girl or a well ripped athlete all to yourself might seem nice enough. The prospect of eroticism and sexual prowess that would be enjoyed  exclusively in the marriage also seems most of the time to blind individual from obvious signs of incompatibility and lack of communication whatsoever , all needed for marriage to succeed.  Everything seems to boil down to physicality in a lust filled relationship .Lust is one of the  wrong reasons to get married. Because it eventually wears out  and the marriage ends even before it starts.
wrong reasons to get married, marriage
If you marry me, i'm going to do nasty things to you each night until you weep.

2. Infatuation:

 Ever heard of the term” love at first sight”. Experts say that is a typical example of infatuation. You know it’s infatuation, when you are constantly thinking of how to reveal yourself to the other person based on your idealized vision of the other person. You immediately lose all form of security in yourself and are consumed with the thought of the other person liking you. You can't take your ground because you don’t want to lose the person. You basically work on egg shells doing everything in your power to recreate yourself for the person. Infatuation is what most love songs, and films portray as love, where you lose all sense of individuality and drown in this exhaustive experience. Infatuation, one of the wrong reasons to get married would sap out life from you, it would put your life goals and sense of individuality on hold and when you don’t get back the “so called love” you believe you deserve or your partner is not as infatuated as you are. You lose it, the whole marriage comes crashing down. Infatuation ends as fast as it starts. Getting married within weeks of first meeting each other is one of the surest signs of infatuation. 

3. Following the norm:

It is believed in most parts of the world that marriage is compulsory and is some kind of achievement and so every youth must eventually work towards that. Following the norm is also one of the wrong reasons to get married. Marriage is work and should be between two consenting adults who understand what they are going into and are ready to make it work and make it last. If you are not ready for that, there is no point following the norm of getting married just because you are expected to or because you love the idea of marriage itself or the fear of remaining unmarried because everybody is getting married. Marriage is beautiful but the aftermath of a broken marriage is like a scar that never erases even when you remarry. Do not allow yourself to be put under any pressure to marry by friends, relatives, parents or coworkers until you are ready to spend the rest of your life with someone you love, sans lust and infatuation.

4. Forcing Commitment:

One of the wrong reasons to get married which is also very common among the female folks is the need to force your partner into commitment to prevent being jilted in the future. Commitment should be gone into willingly and no one should be coerced into commitment. Marriage should not feel like a prison, it should be beautiful and enjoyed.  You would be wise enough to skip certain activities or functions until marriage to increase the value and incentives for marriage but not putting your partner  into a leash where he or she would be dragged into commitment under duress. Marriage should celebrate individuality as well as togetherness and forcing commitment would build marriage on a wrong foundation which would eventually send it tumbling down.

5. Money: 

This is arguably the most common of all the wrong reasons to get married. Financial security that a marriage can offer drives a lot of people into marriages they would otherwise not have gone into. This reason seems acceptable and laudable and a lot of people would applaud a lady who marries into money but the trick is,most monies comes with a lot of issues and the money in most cases is not worth the price of loneliness, unworthiness, paranoia and family feud that you have to put up with. Worst off, when there is a pre-nup. For the money bag, marrying someone because you possess the money you believe the other person needs would only be successful as long as the your partner, fails to apply themselves and make enough income on their own to fuel their sense of individuality and freedom. There has been several cases where a lady marries into money only to get some opportunities of applying herself and getting financial rewards on her own during the course of the marriage and then bailing on the marriage, or totally shifting all focus to herself and her money making enterprise.
wrong reasons to get married, marriage
What is the point of marrying some broke ass guy with potentials?

6. Escape Route:

  Taking marriage as an escape route to leave a town, a city , your family or relatives is also one of the wrong reasons to get married. The purpose of marriage far transcends that and going into a marriage because  of such trivial reasons is asking for trouble. Find ways of dealing with people you don’t want in your life other than getting married and getting whisked away into a new world filled with new challenges and discoveries that marriage offers.

RELATED POSTS: 8 MEN TO NEVER MARRY | 8 LADIES NOT TO MARRY

7. Pity Party

 Marrying someone out of pity is also one of the wrong reasons to get married and it ranks as one of the dumbest too. Feeling sorry and feeling responsible for someone is good enough, marrying them for that is just straight up dumb. Marriage is more precious than a relationship based on pity except of course the person in question  has about 6 hours after the wedding to live, then you can be over your dumb decision  in 6 hours otherwise you would have to spend the rest of your existence feeling dumb and dumber and it would be way worse to break out of such relationship because you would look worse than when you went in. This is also as dumb as marrying someone with the hope of changing them into your lifestyle, your religion or your culture. Even if they show early signs of tagging along, remember that is what it is, tagging along, not change, marriage is not supposed to impose a change on anyone. It would only go so far before you start wishing being run down by a high speed train.
wrong reasons to get married, marriage
This guy's picture pops up when you google, "marrying out of pity" because
he is the first African to claim he married out of pity. He also
happens to be an Actor who came to limelight after marriage.

8. Cultural beliefs: 

 A lot of Asian marriages fall under this category. This still doesn't change the fact that it is one of the wrong reasons to get married. Marrying to maintain some bogus cultural belief is absolutely ridiculous and synonymous to punishment. Marriage is supposed to be based on love, friendship, companionship, togetherness and fun, not some pre-arranged culture preserving mediocre where participants have to live with each other, get used to each other and resort to fate. While this kinds of marriage seldom end in divorce due to the fear of the same cultural beliefs that started it in the first place, it leads to a life of unfulfillment , loss of the sense of individuality and lack of emotional expression and togetherness. This is also as bad as limiting your choice of a marriage partner due to cultural reasons, geographical location, language or race.
wrong reasons to get married, marriage
This guy doesn't know the middle name of his bride but who cares?
They are cute and they would spend the rest of their lives together
miserably happily married.

9. Pregnancy:

 Having a baby on the way is one of the wrong reasons to get married. This reason ranks high in African Countries. This is because procreation has been falsely thought to be sole reason for marriage in these countries , especially west Africa. And most women mess  with the thought of literally trapping a man into marrying them by getting pregnant. This reason is as dangerous as it sounds, don’t put yourself in such dangerous situations. While it is not advisable for children to be born out of wedlock due to some future psychological issues postulated by experts, putting the weight of marriage on an unborn fetus is not a good idea and is a recipe for a marriage that would not stand the test of time.

10. Parental issues: 

Marrying to satisfy your parents and relatives also counts as one of the wrong reasons to get married , so is marrying to hurt your parents. No parent in his  or her right mind should force a child to get married for their own selfish benefits and no right thinking child should also go ahead and exchange vows with the sole intention of pissing off the parent. Marriage would come with it’s own issues and challenges, secondary issues might prove too difficult to handle in a marriage. The “ us against the world” mentality more often than not ends badly and no marriage should be put under such unnecessary additional pressure.

11. Fortune Telling:

As ridiculous as this may sound to someone in America or United Kingdom, sooth saying , oracles and fortune telling, whatever you call it is a very common way of finding a marriage partner in Asia and Africa. The commonest way is by bringing pictures of random potential spouses to the fortune teller who then points out the "victim's' soulmate. Getting married based on the prediction of a fortune teller is one of the many wrong reasons to get married. 

12. Exercising a Right

Another one of the numerous wrong reasons to get married is to exercise a right or law that had just been passed. 30 years back ,some marriages taking place today in some parts of the world were totally illegal, now some new laws have been passed in certain countries and this is usually followed by mass weddings. There is much more to marriage than exercising a right, because soon, you might also be exercising the right to divorce.


13. Needing Assistance.

It is always said that "two heads are better than one" but the fact remains that if one head cannot function independently on it's own , it would be no good even when it has another one to work with. One of the many wrong reasons to get married is the need to get assistance, in running your daily life.You need help cleaning your house, fixing your food, running errands, changing the door knob and taking out the trash , then get a maid. Marriage is so much more than the need to get things done around the house. Marriage is meant for those who have found independence and then intend to co-depend because of the right reasons to get married .

14. Marrying for citizenship and other benefits.

Marrying someone to get a citizenship to a better country is also becoming one of the most common wrong reasons to get married.You would become a citizen quite alright but then in most cases it ends badly.

The above are all wrong reasons to get married because they usually end the marriage abruptly or rob the participants of the immense joy and happiness that marriage brings. Before signing on those dotted lines, it is important to note these reasons and either proceed  with or call off the wedding . Before you get married , you need to know about the choices in relationship. Read Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and the Family
 
wrong reasons to get married
Now we've unconsciously given you more excuses to bail out of your relationships. Jerks!

Saturday, 26 January 2013

DRIVERS' LICENSE VS MARRIAGE LICENSE

What is a  marriage license?.

A marriage license is a document issued, either by a church or state authority, authorizing a couple to marry. 
marriage license
Marriage license
drivers license
Drivers license
 A driver's license is an official document which states that a person may operate a motorized vehicle, such as a motorcycle, car, truck or a bus, on a public roadway.
Below are 10 differences between the two.
¨ A Driver’s License  is obtained to move any vehicle  for a period of 4 years but a  marriage license  is used to “move” only one  person until death do them part. It is more like having a license to drive only one car, not only does the car belong to you, it also bears you name, while this makes marriage look like a dead end adventure. Marriage is one of the greatest things in life, if done in the right way with God's laid down principles.
¨  A driver’s license expires after 4 years  and most be renewed but a Marriage license lasts for life even after divorce, death is the only thing that do them apart. What is marriage, marriage is a promise and oath made by two willing parties before God to stay with each other, love and nurture each other till death do them part, while some marriages have gone on record for lasting 6 hours to 72 days, it is pertinent to note that even a divorce does not necessary render a marriage license null and void, that is why you should never jump into marriage. 

                   RELATED POSTS: 8 MEN YOU SHOULD NEVER MARRY.

¨ For ladies a marriage license would change your name , group and sometimes even your location, this is not so for a driver’s license.The drivers license would simply help you move yourself from place to place.
¨ A driver’s license is country specific, in some countries, even state or province specific ,  that is license can't be used in another state or country different from the one in which it was issued. but, a marriage license is for all weather, all places , all countries. Well except of course the unnatural kinds of marriages which are being criminalized in some countries or simply not recognized in others. 
¨ A driver’s license  is for one person whose face appear on the card, a marriage license is for two whose faces do not appear on the card but have hundreds of people or  at least one to bear witness to the issuance.
¨ A driver’s license can only be issued to persons above 17, for a marriage license age is just a number whether high or low.Although it is outrightly uncalled for, for a marriage to be conducted between willling or non willing parties under the age of 18. This is not permissible in some countries but a practice in others, ever heard of the word" Child brides"
¨ To obtain a driver’s license, a man or woman is supposed to test drive , though as we have come to know, this is not obtainable in some countries, especially African Countries but for a marriage license “test driving” is a sin in religious circles and is not a guarantee to marriage in secular circles. 
¨ While a driver’s license is a standard form of identification, a marriage license isn’t.
¨ A marriage license is issued after a promise to love, hold and cherish but a driver license is issued even if you are  going to end up bashing your car. There is no promise to protect or care for your car, as long as you have indicated that you understand the laws governing driving in that country. While you could get yourself arrested for disobeying the driving laws , there is no immediate close-up monitoring to ensure that you are fully adhering to the marriage vows that you swore.

¨ With a valid driver’s license, the road safety marshals would leave you alone but even with a marriage license you cannot be guaranteed to be left alone by people who “want to reap where they did not sow”, the unmarried, the greedy and the lustful. Marriage is not a way of getting away from " the chasers". That you have to handle yourself.

MARRIAGE WITHOUT A LICENSE: A Completely Moral Alternative to Civil Marriage




Wednesday, 23 January 2013

LETTERS TO FUTURE WIFE

letter to future wife
Letter to WIfe

           Hello there,
It took a lot of self-psyching to finally put a pen to my thoughts. I am not the kind of guy that writes, even my lecture notes are mostly photocopied but with every letter to my future spouse that I come across, I find myself wanting to write to you. First of all, I want you to know that I am not a saint, and that is actually putting it mildly. I am not a fire vomiting, thunder erupting and volcano blasting brother but I must say that I am also not the same kind of Christian I was 5 years ago, or even 5 days ago. I am constantly taking baby steps to the knowledge of truth, faith , patience, brokenness, love , long-suffering, compassion and holiness.


I have been a product of my environment, no thanks to growing up in a dysfunctional home and being exposed to all kinds of present day vices but as you know, our God is faithful and just even to the faithless as he commands rain to fall on both good and evil.

In my discovery of truth , I have come to realize that the fruit doesn't always fall far from the tree and the home is the primary shaping centre of the mind , body and soul. I have also come to discover that a good home is a product of a good marriage and this has made the whole marriage institution glow in new light to me.
                                      RELATED POST: 8 LADIES TO NEVER MARRY
All my life , I have  set goals to become successful, get things done, develop myself , expand my horizon but I never for once thought about making myself a man who can lead a good home through a good marriage.
I have since discovered that this great neglect has somehow being preparing me to fall in the generational cycle of a dysfunctional home front.
I would love to be a good and loving husband and father . I would love to lead a God fearing home and be one with my wife through the journey of life. I would love to have a home of ever increasing love and not just becoming roommates after a few years of marriage.
In all this, I have also realized that the original plan of marriage was God’s, and no matter how much the world tries to get him out of it, it still remain his. It was his plan, his design, his work. And just the way you wouldn’t run a Toyota Camry car with a  Vespa engine, only in God, the master planner can we truly enjoy marriage and not endure it. With this, I understand why the rate of divorce and separation is high and why all my previous relationships never lasted and why I initially concluded that the so called “wife material” was no more.
I now know that I have to do it the God way, I have to summit myself to him to make me a husband material capable of handling a wife material. I now know that I have to trust him to lead me to the bone of my bone. With this new found knowledge and confidence, I write to you and say, It is well with you.
Your Future Husband.

Read:Dear Future Wife: A time capsule letter from a Stand-Up Comedian to his future wife.

Monday, 14 January 2013

LETTER TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND



Dear Future husband,
Future husband

I thank God for the courage to write this
letter to you which is partly inspired by
other letters that I have read.  It has really taken a long journey to get to this
place of being able to write to you. I have
lived  most of my life in misconception of
what a husband is and is to be. I grew up
believing Men are liars, cheats, abusive,
selfish and disrespectful to women. I believed that we were the “weaker sex”
who deserved nothing  in life. And in my
delusion, I travelled  the path of sin and
perched my nest in the valley of darkness.  I went about life trying to be a perfect instrument for someone else. I went
around seeking for what I thought was
the ideal kind of man until Jesus found
me. He brought me out of the miry clay
and opened my eyes.  He let me know
that I was wonderfully and fearfully created and he had plans for a future and a
glorious end for me. He showed me that I
don’t have to see  myself , the way my
environment sees me but how he has
made me. He helped me forgo the hurt,
the shame and the pain of the past and
gave me the hope of a brighter, better
day which cannot be cut short. I am
whole . I have now let go of my pastalong with all my erroneous and worldly beliefs,  I
now know that a true husband is the one that would
love his wife, the way
Christ loves the Church. And that a God driven marriage is the one where we would both
complement each other and support each other in fulfilling our God given destiny. My beloved, I want you also to let go of all your
worldly misconceptions of women, all the kind
you read in secular lifestyle magazines, because I am simply different from that. I
would also like you to let go of any hurt or
pain that may get in your way of showing
love and care for your wife and family. Surrendering your pain to God and let him heal
you. I would not judge you because I know
you would not be perfect.
I am learning new things, developing myself
everyday, spiritually, mentally and physically. I have now started to feed my soul, spirit
and mind, instead of hitherto just feeding my
body. Because I have come to realize that you
wouldn’t marry me for my body alone, but for
my heart, my mind and the spirit of God inside of me.  Now  I can see clearly and I know
that in due time, God would bring us together
Your future wife

Read : Prayers & Notes To My Future Husband