GIFTS SUGGESTIONS FOR AFRICAN MOTHERS ON MOTHERS' DAY

African Mothers

We have decided to come up with a comprehensive list of gift suggestions for mothers on mothers’ day or any other day. We decided to channel our gift suggestions to African Mothers. Those are women all over the world with African descent. There  seems not to be any comprehensive list on the internet or anywhere else that solely gives the gift suggestions for African mothers that would actually be appreciated by African mothers. The flowers and scented candles are more or less a waste of time and money for African mothers,  except your mum is married to a white man or is French.

When it comes to mothers, there is no limit to how much to spend, no amount is enough for them , you can keep the budgeted gifts for valentine, Christmas and others but for mothers, go all out. 

1. Real Estate: 

Okay, we are not talking about this kind of Real Estate

African mothers love houses, and this is the best gift suggestion for an African mother, you would ever read. Now unto the budget, if you can afford an Estate, of detached bungalows between 10- 20 houses, don’t hold back , just do it. If you can’t but can afford to buy an apartment preferably 3 bedroom, then go for that. If that is still too much then, go get a piece of land, or old property to buy for her. If she already has a house, you can have it refurbished, repainted, redesigned, changing the home décor, fittings and finishing. if you can’t handle that, then you can pay her rent ,for a year or at least a month, if you still can’t handle that move on to number 2.

2. Automobile: 

My son bought this car for me, i'm selling it after this picture.

Another gift suggestion for African mothers is an automobile, whatever you do, don’t buy an old truck that consumes fuel and fills the whole neighborhood with smoke. However, the bigger, the better. The vehicle has to be big enough to carry all her junk stuff but classy enough to take out to a function. Buy it and have it delivered, then wrap the key in a ribbon and take it to her. If she cries, she loves it. If she doesn't then you know you should have  carried out  gift suggestion number one.

3. African Fabrics: 

You can even make the African Fabrics into chairs, she would never use.

African mothers love their prints, no matter how well travelled  they are, they love them some classy and cool African prints. Buy six different kind of materials or already made African print dresses or clothes.

4. Electronics:

When i grow up, i would buy mama a bigger TV so i can watch when she is away.

 If you mama lives in Africa, then you should get her a bigger television, so she can watch African Magic on the DSTV  Network ( *God we should start charging  for  mentions*). Another very good one is a bigger and more efficient washing machine, she probably does all the laundry and it would be better to have a hi tech equipment , that does  all her work for her.Items like Radio Set, Dish washer, Twin sized gas cookers, giant sized refrigerators or freezers, toasters and  cake mixer etc. Any thing and every thing that would make life in the kitchen and in the sitting room easier. A power Generator might also come In handy, if she lives in a place with rationed electricity. Whatever you buy , please don’t buy her a microwave, if you want her to stay around longer.

5. Spa Treatment: 

Your Mum may not want to ever look like a masquerade even in a spa

This gift suggestion  might not go well for all African mothers but you have to convince them that they need it and then get a very good spa around. African mothers are used to massaging every other person, especially the old grumpy man that they married and even their children, but no one in most cases thinks to do it for them. Don’t think of doing it now , if you never did it , you are most likely going to suck at it, so get a masseuse , preferably a male ( if she can wrap her mind around another man touching her ) and tell him/her  to listen to what she wants, and how she wants it done.( We have to stop here, this is beginning to sound somehow). Go figure!

6. Trip:

I hope she is not scared of flying.

 African mothers love to see the world, that is why they watch television a lot, so go ahead and plan a trip for her to a place she has never been, where there would be lots of sights to see, this is a gift suggestion where you can never go wrong except you make her go on a trip alone , or you take her to a place that is unsafe or the places that you  like instead of what she would like.

7. Accessories:
 

This kind of pots burn food.

Buy as many as you can afford, plate sets, pot sets, hand bags , shoes to match, hats ,head gears, scarfs, weaves ,perfumes. Don’t just buy something from the thrift shop, go ahead and buy something that has a brand  name or at least something of very high quality and durability, she is going to show it to her friends , so you want to make it the best.

8. Jewelries and cosmetics: 

This might be too heavy for her frail hands

First, not all African mothers use jewelries, but the ones that do, use enough for the ones that don’t. Buy her chains, ear rings, bracelets and while you are at it, get her an  anti -aging cream, a moisturizer, make up kits and cleansers. These particular gift suggestion would make her happy and keep her looking radiant and beautiful like you want her to.

9. Pictures: 

Actually it's better if she is painted on a large wall. 

Take her to a studio and let her go for a photo shoot, you would have to get her new attires and have the picture framed  and hanged on the wall in the good ole traditional way, leave Facebook or instagram out of this.

10. Natural Supplements and Essentials: 

You can just pick moringa leaves and give them to her

Now your African mother is probably the queen of all home remedies that you know of, but she might just be  missing out on supplements and essential oils to keep the body,soul and mind  working at full capacity. Lay off Chinese products for now, get recommendation from a certified doctor before buying anything. Vitamin tabletsCalcium drops , garlic drops etc  are wonderful gift suggestions but  they should still be recommended by a doctor.

Over the Counter Natural Cures: Take Charge of Your Health in 30 Days with 10 Lifesaving Supplements for under $10

11. Food stuffs: 

I'm eating only the chicken

African mothers love to have food stuffed all over the house, even if they would only eat a spoon ful, so  go ahead and buy all the food supplies they need. The dry fishes imported from Norway, the basmati rice from china and India, the yams from your local food seller and spices that you would only find in Africa.

12. Surgery: 

I hope i don't die under the anesthesia

African Mothers might not like this, but it is a good gift suggestion, especially to reduce weight that might cause diabetes, back pain, high blood pressure and all it’s cousins. This has to be approved by the doctor, so you don’t end up killing your own mother with anesthesia  or excessive bleeding.

13. Gift basket:

We honestly don't know anything in this basket but it does look good.

 If all the gift suggestions listed above isn't working for you, then you still have no excuse to let  mother’s day pass without showing love to your mother. Even though you are supposed to be doing that every day. Go ahead and get a gift basket from a gift shop , that contains things that an African mother would need, not  paintings or sculptured cartoon characters.

14. Mothering Sunday:

Now, i can show everyone, the beads my son bought for me.

 Most African Mothers, especially Catholics celebrate mothers’ day  in church, there and then, she would want to carry out some financial obligations, this you can finance. The bigger, the better. She would be so glad you did, but ensure that you don’t spend all your budget on that, save something else for her alone. Most of those items would not be for her, so still go ahead and get her something for herself.

15. SMS,CARDS, GREETINGS:

 Now, we know that there are some of you reading this post , that have the intention to carry out all these gift suggestions given above but now is not really the right time, mostly because of financial constraints. Well, pin, this post and send her text messages , call her or send her greeting cards. We all know African Mothers love any form of gift coming from their children.

Happy mothers' day

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YOUTH DEVELOPMENT: YOUR CHOICE, YOUR FUTURE

Your Choice

Choice according to the Oxford dictionary is the act of deciding between two or more possibilities. Right from the time we become conscious of ourselves as human entities, we begin to make choices. Choices can  either be conscious or unconscious. The absence of a conscious choice brings about an unconscious choice.  On a typical day , you choose when to wake up , or choose to wake up at anytime your body comes out of sleep or you hear a loud distracting sound. The fact, you didn't set a particular time to wake up in your mind by sleeping at a reasonable time or  setting an alarm clock is an unconscious choice to wake up at any time. Throughout the day , you then have to decide whether to do some exercise, brush your teeth, get some work done, or go back to sleep.

In life, we make choices everyday, starting from very simple and everyday ones to life changing or in the case of youth development, life defining  choices

The future on the other hand  is the indefinite time period after the present. Its arrival is considered inevitable due to the existence of time and the laws of physics.

6 FACTS ABOUT CHOICE.

1.Choice is a gift from God

That has been given to man. He even gave man the power to choose between life and death. “I have no choice”, is a lie. Everybody has choice. There is also a choice “to have no choice.”

2.Choice is something you have to make in life.

 At school, what career to pursue, where to pursue it, when to pursue it, what certifications or degrees to get

At work, where to work, what kind of work to do, when to work, how to work , who to work with.

In marriage, who to marry, who not to marry, when to marry , when to call off a relationship, when to get out of an abusive relationship.

In fact every area of  life. Choices are being made daily.

I can always blame the professor for my poor Grades , so i choose to sleep through class

3.You have power over your choice, as a matter of fact you are fully in control of your choice.  The statement ‘ I had no choice “ is a choice. You decided to eradicate all the alternatives and made a particular choice the only one on the table. In every situation, there is always an opportunity to choose between one thing or another. Most of the time,  people are blinded by wants, needs, actions and perception into giving up their choices.

4. For every choice, there is a consequence. Most times in life, when people genuinely say they have no choice, they are most likely reaping the consequence of a choice already made by them or for them. It’s like the newton’s third law of Motion, that  states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This groups people into two, those living by choices they are making and those living by the consequences of the choices they have made or allowed to be made for them.

I choose to get face tattoos to make myself unemployable.

5.You unfortunately do not have the power over the consequences of your choice. You can’t control it, you can stop it, you can only enjoy or endure it.

I chose to stay up to see some late night movies, now
i 'm about to get fired.

6.The consequences of your choice determines  your future. In other words, your future is an entity which comprises of a combination of consequences of the choices that you have made. A lot of people seem to think the future is completely different from the present and has no link to it. A lot of people , youth especially seem to believe that the future  would suddenly fall and would wipe away every trace of the past but the future is now, it’s happening everyday, it is simply a combination of the consequences of the choices that you have made, you are making, or will make. You also have to understand that it is a choice, for your power to choose to be given away to another, thereby enabling them make a choice on your behalf. This includes parents, friends and relatives choosing on your behalf.

RELATED POSTS: GETTING THINGS DONE  | RULES OF LIFE IN YOUTH DEVELOPMENT

HOW THEN DO YOU CHOOSE RIGHTLY.

1.Choose God, he is the best choice that you can ever make in life. There is a great difference between understanding the ultimate source of all life and acknowledging it while using it to find your place in life, and  religion that has completely turned the world into a place you just want to run away from.

This right here 

and this is why atheism is on the rise 

2. Let your choices align to your calling. Don’t simply choose a career because it is well paying or because the employment board tagged it as the ultimate money back guaranteed career but choose what aligns to your calling.

3. Train and trust your instincts, listen to your inner voice, don’t follow the crowd, take time to pause and reanalyse your choice. It’s your future

4.Have others , your parents and family members especially, in consideration while making any choice. Most times choices are made alone but the consequences are borne by the whole family and friends.  Most bad choices are made by selfish and myopically thinking people. A decision that might cost you, your life would not even affect you, it would affect those you leave behind.  Your future is a combination of the consequences of your choices .

5 .Think about the consequences of your choices before making them, what are the factors fuelling that particular choice and how rightful are those factors, if your choices are borne out of jealousy, envy, greed, gluttony, hatred, revenge, malice, pride or perversity, then the choice is definitely going to be a bad one with grave consequences.  Be ambitious but have the spirit of contentment. Always look at the bigger picture which is what your future holds.

6.Anytime you realize that you are wrong, retrace your steps . retracing your steps can help cushion the effect of bad choices. When you are on a wrong path , you cannot continue on that path and then automatically find yourself on the right path, you have to make a U-turn. Remember your choices results in consequences that would define your future.

Read:Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom

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TO BE OR NOT TO BE- ANOTHER FIRED TEACHER.

Teri James

Teri James is months pregnant, expecting a bundle of joy. She couldn't be more excited and ecstatic.  She had always wanted a baby of her own. She gradually prepared everyday reading books like "what to expect when you are expecting" and registering for ante natal care. She was thrilled. 

The only problem is she works at San Diego Christian College in El Cajon where   the school has put in place a clear doctrinal position that all employees must adhere to. The school mandates that all job candidates sign a "community covenant" before they are hired, which explicitly states that all employees will "abstain from sexually immoral behavior, including pre-marital sex, adultery, pornography and homosexuality."

The San Diego Christian College is by no means the first Christian institution to enforce biblical ethics on employees to maintain its integrity. In 2008 Shorter University enforced a new policy called the Personal Lifestyle Statement, which explicitly forbade pre-marital sex, adultery, and homosexual behavior. In that case, although a number of employees became disgruntled about the new policy, it was found to be completely legal in the state of Georgia.

 Now Teri James has been fired from the job because she obviously didn't take the covenant seriously. She however did not take the feat lying down , she went ahead and sued the school, claiming that it was indeed gender discrimination, even though she was informed that she was being fired not because she was pregnant but because she had engaged in premarital sex. She claimed that there was no check for men in the same school and men couldn't get pregnant  and she went further to claim that her boyfriend had since being offered a job in the same college.

James was reportedly fired from the Christian college four months ago, where she had been employed as a financial aid specialist.

She claims that her employers were satisfied with her work until they learned of her pregnancy out of wedlock.

James, who is currently six months pregnant, revealed her lawsuit at a press conference in California in mid-February, stating that she is suing the university due to discrimination by gender, pregnancy, and marital status. She claimed, "San Diego Christian College did not show any mercy or grace towards me, and acted completely un-Christ-like. They made more of a business decision than showing God's love."

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This has since received mixed feelings with some strong  comments like,

“Even though I am a Christian, I think such contracts and actions by the college is a poor attempt to look good in the eyes of man rather than good in the eyes of God. It is not an employer's place to dictate how an employee lives their lives outside of the job. Christian employers should lead by example, not by an iron scepter. I am not condoning the young lady's actions but only that if you will fire someone for one sin, you are a hypocrite if you do not fire someone for any sin. And we wonder why people question the motives of our faith when we act in such disregard all for the sake of looking pious in the eyes of all mankind “

 which critisied the college policies

And 

"I guess the young lady forgot to read her employee handbook and assumed that her personal life wouldn't be scrutinized. You had a moral obligation when you signed up for the job yet you want to sue because?"

"Careful how you use the term "lady" ". Another person had immediately fired back

 and this one

"Private Christian Institutions can dictate policy. Don't like it, don't go there. End of story."

which basically insinuates that  the woman  is not a lady and is presently carrying out a stupid activity.

Yet another had this to say

“It is not in your power nor the school's power to pass judgement against her. To do so is a mortal sin, far worse than fornication. She has been tempted by the flesh, but you and the college have been corrupted by the belief that you are as worthy to pass judgement as God is. You and the people at the college who dismissed this girl rather than forgiving and helping her, as is your earthly duty as commanded by God and Jesus Christ, are blasphemers. Beg for forgiveness on your knees “

we think we all just need to do the right thing at all times.

We feel they are all right what do you think.?


Read The Rules of Life, Expanded Edition: A Personal Code for Living a Better, Happier, More Successful Life

Culled from Christianpost.com

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HOW TO GET OUT OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

No it is not a lion, it's an abuser.

Abusive relationships are getting more rampant with each passing day. Here is how to get out of abusive relationships if you are in one already.

1.       Awareness: This is the first step in getting out of abusive relationships, being aware that you are in one. The constant denial would do you no good. You have to understand that it is not your fault; no one deserves to be abused for any reason whatsoever. You have an obligation to yourself to be truthful to yourself about the abuse in your relationship.
Read: Signs that you are in an abusive relationship

Now you don't have to wait for this before you know
you are in an abusive relationship.

2.       Avoiding abuse Triggers: In your awareness, you should also identify the triggers that cause abuse and try as much as possible to avoid them while you can. You have to step up to the challenge without fear or agitation. Avoid the discussions that might result into assault or the behavior that triggers such abuse. This would help in saving you from all potential harm. However you should not let the abuse dampen your spirit or give you a troubled mind, because you would begin to transmit such negative energy which would be picked up by your abuser and then he or she would find new excuses or new reasons to abuse you apart from the ones you are already avoiding. Keep  your head high, radiate positive energy , love and care. Develop your mind, don’t lose yourself to self pity.

get over self pity, and don't tell him you are not in the mood
that's going to earn you a slap.

3.       Seek a counselor:  There are times all efforts to avoid abuse would be futile. Seeking a counselor is a very good option. It doesn’t have to be a professional dressed in a suit and tie in an high end office. It could just be someone who is more matured and well grounded . Someone who knows a lot more about relationships. There are lots of regulated advice forums that you could join for advice. A counselor would be able to give you specific instructions as pertaining to your unique case of abuse in your relationship.

Now you can't do this if he has prosthetic
limbs or a gun or both.

4.       Getting even:  Although, this is very controversial and a lot of people have argued that it may put you in more danger. Getting even is still advised in some cases. First you have to understand that you don’t have to be the devil or a monster because you are trying to defend yourself, but, most abusers are weaklings, trying to find validation by oppressing other people. Getting even might simply be reporting the abuser to specific authorities that would put him in check. There was a case of a woman who went to her husband’s place of work and reported him to his boss, who was a respected and disciplined person. The boss then, threatened the abuser of losing his job if he ever had such negative reports. Things changed after that. There are so many other more drastic getting even methods that we cannot put here but some worked tremendously. Getting even generally requires balls, which most abused victims lack in the first instance anyway.

I am Escaping by rail from my high school lover

5.       Running away: This is the most commonly advised step of all steps to take in getting out of an abusive relationship. It involves secret planning, taking into consideration, expenses, how to cope with the future and how to move on and the fact that you might be constantly pursued by your abuser. This is usually much more difficult when children are involved. Even though you might live the rest of your life looking over your shoulders and in paranoia, it is better than having no shoulders anymore.

Some times you always feel like this, even though you are miles away
from your abuser.

6.       Learn your lessons: it is not just enough to deal with abusive relationships , you have to learn your lessons, and there is always something to learn from every situation. While it is mostly not the victim’s fault in cases of abuse, there are some ways in which the victim could have acted to prevent it. You also have to check that you are not in some kind of pattern in your family line or you are constantly attracted to the wrong kind of person. There are always lessons to learn in every situation, if you don’t learn anything in a poignant situation as abuse in relationship then it is probably going to happen again. 

Read: Dysfunctional Relationships: Learn About The Characteristics of Dysfunctional Relationships, Getting Out Of A Dysfunctional Relationship And What Exactly is a Healthy Relationship?

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GETTING OVER BAD HABITS

Bad Habits

Humans are a combinations of habits,some are inborn and a larger percentage are as a result of the environment we live in,friends we keep , information from the  media that we expose ourselves to. While it is often stated that it takes 61 days of  constantly carrying out an activity before it becomes a habit, this  particular statement really carries no weight. Habit formation depends largely on will power,motivation and ambition. If one simply targets carrying out a particular habit for 61 days and then stops, believing it is now a habit, then such a person might be in for a shocker. This goes both ways for both picking up and dropping habits. 

 Habits are basically   a result of influence, and we are constantly influenced every day by things we see and hear.Habits can only be built up if  the particular source of influence for that particular habit is maintained and kept as strong as it was initially  until it is not needed any more, which could be in 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years or 30 years. 

This singular statement categories habits into 

1. Influenced habits.- which are habits that still require the particular source of influence that created them .

2.Independent habits- which are habits that are either inborn and require no direct source of influence or have become what is called "second nature', that requires little or no influence for their continuous existence.

What makes a habit bad?

A habit becomes bad if it limits the owner in fulfilling his day to day activities or achieving substantial laid down life goals, or reduces self worth, or is illegal. Habits are either good or bad,in some cases though a good habit might become bad and sometimes some bad habits might become good.

How do you overcome bad habits?

1. Eradicating the influence: The very first step of overcoming bad habits is to eradicate the influence. To eradicate the influence, you have to first identify it. Influences may come from friends, relatives , beliefs, society, past experiences and the media. The eradication of influences would be important for getting over influenced bad habits.A person might be promiscuous because of certain friendships or media exposure that constantly feeds the bad habit as an example.

Watching the Real Housewives of  everything  is a bad habit
and  to eradicate the influence, this television has to go

2. Redirecting the influence:  

I am redirecting my masturbation bad habit into several push ups

Some habits however are  as a result of an indirect influence, which cannot be eradicated  Such influences include past experiences or societal beliefs and values. In such cases, such influences have to be redirected.You have to understand what influences have indirectly brought about the bad habits and find a way of redirecting these influences to other new habits. So anytime you feel obligated to carry out such bad habits due to influences which cannot be directly eradicated  you  simply do something else. This takes self awareness and mastery. There are several cases of people who do something like cleaning or baking when they are under an uncontrollable influence to do something, they consider a bad habit such as smoking etc.

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3.Training your mind. 

I am using this ball to remind myself that the earth is Spherical
and math is just like the game of soccer.

There are still those bad habits that are second nature sans direct or indirect influence. This has to be replaced with something productive.Replacing them however should be done with something or activities that would totally keep your mind off it. It requires constant training done by trial and error, it is a process that you have to be aware of and keep milestones and focus. Use paper tags to remind you of it, make yourself aware of the benefits you stand to gain from getting over that bad habit.

4. Releasing the Guilt and shame: 

Oh please! I would not wet myself again because i am now 21

Without this singular act of releasing any form of guilt and shame associated with the bad habit, you might never get over them. In the process of getting over bad habits, there are days you might fail, there are days you might take steps backward but the cliche is to worry yourself about it and fill yourself with remorse. This is dangerous, as the remorse sends a message of justification and vindication to your subconscious. When you find yourself at high temptation periods where you are under a strong influence to carry out your bad habit, your subconscious assures you that you are going to feel remorse after the act , so you can go ahead and do it. So the remorse would let you feel content and you would continue in the cycle. When you fall, get up, don't fret, tell yourself you are on a process and though it takes time, you would make it,because you can. 

5. Weighing your Options: 

Steven Aitchison said that" people never really change, they only change when the option of not changing far outweighs the options of remaining the same. In which case, " if i don't stop cheating, i would lose my beautiful marriage"," if i don't stop overeating, i would have a weight related disease", "if i don't stop smoking, this lung cancer would kill me'." if i don't change my attitude, i would lose my job". When your subconsious fully realises this, then change is inevitable. The influences would be erradicted, redirected and the mind would be well trained. WIthout that, the bad habit might successfully recede only to pop up someday based on favourable situations and circumstances.

RELATED POST: WHY PEOPLE BEHAVE THE WAY THEY DO

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