SHORT STORY-THE PERFECT ESCAPE

Well, it is basically trying to climb ropes on little food 

or looking like a fool in the presence of your fellows

or standing in the sun for long  hours till you pass out.

The  three weeks spent on camp was not spent in vain. The endurance trek, the drills, match past in the sun , punishments and all are something, I would always be grateful for, that is why I am personally against the notion of scraping NYSC. I would never have participated in such rigorous tasks that I have only seen on shows like Fear factor, Ultimate search (Nigeria’s version of Survivor) and survivor itself. Until I was forced to do them by the environment I found myself. I was deployed to a state in the North central zone  of the Nigeria and our platoon commandant was a female, so she did not spare the females in the platoon at all. She was one of the strongest soldiers on the camp and other male soldiers respected her, and she really drilled us, we the girls especially. In fact she was our major problem on camp, because she was more of an extremist and feminist all combined into one. All the drills were done by the girls , those who complained about not being able to do anything, were made to do them after others have been dismissed. After the first time of staying back when others have been dismissed, I decided to do everything at the first time because, it only gets worse when you are made to stay back. I developed stamina, strength and a little bit of fearlessness. This was soon to be a valuable asset , when on a warm afternoon about two weeks after camp, I entered a “one chance” vehicle when I went for a Job Recruitment test in Lagos.

If you look closely you would see me.

It was immediately obvious when I boarded the commercial bus that things were not right, it was a bus and I realized that we were only about 8 passengers in the bus and most of them were fearful looking, the conductor had also sat down and we were passing bus-stops and all , then finally I got it, they were criminals and just about four of us were victims, I immediately started devising a plan. One of the other ladies too, must have noticed and she said she wanted to alight the bus. Nobody answered, it felt like she was talking to herself, she became hysterical and started screaming, she was then given a dirty slap across a face to calm her down. It was kind of an age long therapy that robbers knew too well and this time it worked like magic. The lady became mute as a doorknob like she didn't even feel pain from the slap. They were trying to get us from the busy inner streets to  the lonely highways , where they can rob us carefully then drop us, I was sitting near the door  which was still open beside the conductor, suddenly we approached a sharp bend where we had to slow down, this was the opportunity I needed, I grabbed my bag and flew out , landed on the floor and rolled off the road, even the conductor must have been amazed by my athletic ability . I got up dusted myself and ran, they didn’t even stop, they kept on moving even faster. I was grateful to God, my platoon commandant and myself. I am definitely stronger now. I had some bruises but who cares, I am alive, and safe, that is all that matters.

         RELATED STORIES: WHY I HAVE NO FUTURE AMBITION      |       HOW I MET MY MOTHER

The National Youth Service Corp (NYSC) is a one year compulsory para-military for all right out of school graduates in Nigeria. It involves 3 weeks on intense training in a camp and then another 9 months of deployment  mostly to parastatals  . “One chance” is a loose term used for camouflage commercial vehicles hijacked by criminals with the sole intention of robbing it’s passengers.

          Read Perfect Escape

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MORINGA- THE MIRACLE LEAF ( A Revelation in Natural Supplements)

Moringa Leaf

Imagine a fresh leaf that contains seven times as much vitamins C as oranges. When the leaf is dry, it contains half the quantity of vitamins in oranges. Imagine also that when fresh, the leaf also contains four times the vitamins A of carrots while the dry one contains 10 times as much of the vitamins in carrots.

Again, the leaf when fresh contains four times the calcium contained in  milk and when dry, contains 17 times as much calcium as milk. In terms of potassium, the same leaf contains three times the quantity of the mineral as banana. When the leaf is dry, the potassium level is 15 times what the banana has. The leaf contains three quarters of the iron in spinach but when it is dry, the iron content is 25 times of what spinach has. If you are looking for protein, the quantity contained in the fresh leaf is two times what you get from yoghurt, but when the leaf is dry , it contains as much protein as yoghurt.

Moringa Leaf

Moringa leaf

Such a leaf must be miraculous, according to experts. Yes, the plant that bears the leaf has actually earned the nickname miracle tree. Its botanical name is Moringa oleifera. Moringa is mostly common in African, Nigeria, where is it mostly grows naturally and has different names in different ethnic groups. In hausa ,moringa is called zogale; it is called gawara in Fulani; okwe oyibo in Igbo and ewe ile in Yoruba.

Moringa is a small shrub or tree that can reach 12 metres in height in maturity and can live for up to 20 years. A short but intense life, a life in the fast lane. Moringa is perhaps the fastest growing of all trees as it can reach three metres in just 10 months after the seed is planted. It has deep roots, and therefore it can survive in dry regions, and a wide-open crown with a single stem. Moringa is a healer, food magician, beauty and beautician, a plant with surprising water purification capabilities, a best friend and humanitarian who works for so little. It is one of the most useful tress on earth. Moringa makes a major contribution to human and animal health, in many cases, it can mean the difference between life and death, absolutely no negative effects to daily consumption of moringa leaves have been reported. It is believed that the leaf has a stabilising effect on blood pressure and glucose levels as they are also used to treat anxiety, diarrhoea and inflammation of the colon, skin infections, scurvy, intestinal parasites and many other conditions.”  If the entire value chain for moringa is developed, it can create over one million jobs and generate over 500bn in revenue for Nigeria. people can make a lot of money and  earn a living by cultivating the plant and selling the different parts such as the roots, trunk , seeds, leaves, flowers to           processors. This can also be a sure way of poverty alleviation and wealth creation. Because of the enormous potential of moringa,  out-growers are encouraged to go into small scale plantation of this crop as income generating process for small- scale business in the rural communities.

Over the past decade, report findings on the plant have been featured in many scientific journals recognising the multi-faceted economic uses of moringa as a potent and viable resource for combating hunger, malnutrition, poverty and disease.

The plant has become even more relevant, considering the potential in job/wealth creation and also in achieving the millennium development goals. For this reason, many refer to it as a millennium plant.

OMG! this is going to ruin my breakfast cereal.

It is also pertinent to note that Moringa grows and thrives well in parts of the world identified with poverty, underdevelopment and malnutrition .

Moringa oil could also be extracted as edible oil and for bio- diesel, especially during this time of renewable energy and sustainability.

Moringa Oil

 The miracle tree presents several business opportunities for discerning investors in agriculture and the agro- allied industry. For any person that invest in growing the plant, different parts present business opportunities as they can be harvested and marketed.

 Apart from growing the tree, processing also offers another avenue for anyone that is interested in exploiting the economic potential of moringa oleifera.

Other products that can be  processed from the plant include seasoning powder, tea drink, food supplements and medicinal products.

I hope this Miracle leaf would also cure my Anger, Paranoia and Mind wandering.

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CHEAP VALENTINE IDEAS- (How to celebrate valentine's day on a budget)

It is that time of the year again, where lovers all over the world exchange gifts and pleasantries due to an age long tradition that came about as a result of the great one Augustus Valentine. Every year, billions of dollars are spent on gifts to celebrate valentine’s day. A lot of websites and blogs post new and creative valentine day  ideas  and other expenditures. In case you are in-between jobs, or living on a budget and still have someone who loves you then here is how to celebrate valentine’s day without breaking your bank account which is already in the red.

1. Don't Eat out- 

Okay, this is hard but you have to understand that all the restaurants are going to be choked up any way and waiters would be on their worst behaviours, you might have to wait a while to get a seat in the cheapest of restaurants, this is assuming you have not made a reservation because you are on a budget.  A cheaper valentine day idea is to Instead eat in, you and your lover should get a valentine recipe off the internet and get the ones with cheap ingredients and make the meal together, just the two of you. It might not taste good , it might actually suck but you would learn that the beauty of valentine is doing things together.

Cheap Valentine Recipes

2.Go for a  valentine program-

A good valentine idea is to go for an admit all program or party.There are lots of cheap valentine programs, carnivals and seminars organised by churches,media outlets, schools and organisation. Most programs involve discussions, questions and relationship issues all centered on strengthening and testing your relationship. It might even be a valentine party and you can just tag along ,hoping the host would supply everything including gifts.

3.Send your messages on social media.

Here your knowledge of some graphic design would come in handy for this valentine day idea. A lady once said the best present i received from my partner was a hand drawn  lettering which read " Lola my beautiful valentine". You can also send free e-valentine cards , send  about 24, that is one every hour. Get on the internet  somewhere and send these e cards  Some sites have the option of sending it to media enabled phones. You can also write hand written notes, if you are not a poet, or writer, you can hop on the internet or like a brother once said, " copy lyrics of your favorite love song. RELATED POST: 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO FOR YOUR PARTNER ON VALENTINE'S DAY                                                    VALENTINE DAY FOR SINGLES

4. Pair up.

We are all trying to enjoy ourselves while waiting for the combo  package

If you happen to have friends who are also in on celebrating the valentine’s day, you can simply pair up and go for combo packages of pizzas, ice-cream .rice bowls and chicken soups. Chinese restaurants have all these packages the most, and you can never  go wrong with Chinese food until you puke  . You have to be close friends for this valentine day idea to fly and  everybody on the team has to have mutual respect and care for each other, you don’t want a  tensed up valentine dinner .

5.Buy cheap classy gifts.

Gifts for ladies like accessories, hair ornaments, clips, nail fillers, or very new looking second hand novels  (if your partner likes reading) ,simple pastries, creams etc don’t cost a fortune. If you know where to buy cheap but classy ones. A guy might need the assistance of a female in getting these really good classy gifts .Gift for guys like  boxers/briefs, underwear, simple and plain office shirts, cuff links are also very cheap especially if  you know where to look to get cheap and classy ones.

6. Postpone valentine.

If the above list doesn't sound like what you can handle then simply postpone valentine. Let something come up , fix appointments, meetings, trip or work throughout the day, call to say hello in the morning and then drown yourself in your duties, when others leave work/school  early , offer to help them with their jobs and stay there late. Then when your pockets are eating cheese cake then you can have your own valentine on say the 17^th of June, if you still have someone who loves you by then. You can never go wrong with these  cheap valentine day ideas

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10 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO FOR YOUR PARTNER ON VALENTINE'S DAY

Your partner

   Wake your partner up  with a love song on valentine’s day. Call when you know they should still be sleeping [say 5 am or 6 am or even 8 am if your partner is the type that sleeps till noon (lazydrone) ] and then vocally sing a love song . You don’t have to be a musician but that is kind of an added advantage. If you sound terrible and your voice can probably cause a hurricane or induce migraines, then play a record underground or send an MMS. You might also request that the song is played on the radio and call or wake your partner up to listen to it. In case you don’t find any request shows that early ,just hope love songs would come up and then call your partner when they do, otherwise stick to the original plan.

Lady waiting to be woken up by her partner.

 .  Write your partner a letter, listing 10-50 things you love about your partner , send it in an envelope and make someone else deliver it. Don’t drop it in the mail though; it may be delivered on the wrong date or worst still to the wrong person.

Write a love letter to your partner

       Send 24 unique text love messages every hour of the day, yes even in the midnight. If you use a very good phone that sets the sending time of text messages, you would save yourself the stress of waking up. You can lower this down to 16-18 during the hours that you are awake but ensure that the number is an even number of text messages.

Just copy this text message if you can read it.

 .Indulge your partner in their favorite interests, If your partner loves to watch sitcoms for example, then sit through one with your partner. Do something that is in your partner’s interest.

Let your partner do all he always wanted to do,-go around the house in his drawers and play with teddy bears.

Now I finally get that cuddle  i have been dying to get, Thanks to this horror film that i have seen countless times but she hasn't.

      Take up some of your partner’s chores, do not do what you can’t do or try to prove a point. Just assist and get it done well, so it wouldn't be a total waste of time at the end of the day.

After Taking this picture, i am going to leave the kitchen and  just call someone to wash these dirty dishes.

All I need to do is leave soap marks , that is the proof that i cleaned the floor.

    Allow your partner choose your outfit for the valentine day, help you shave or brush your hair. You would find out that the simple outfits are the most loved.

This outfit was chosen by my better half

        RELATED POSTS: VALENTINE DAY FOR SINGLES
                             HOW TO CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY ON A BUDGET

PREGNANT WOMEN AND THEIR HUSBANDS

   Go out on a date night. Going  out doesn't necessarily mean  going to the most expensive restaurant to rub shoulders with the multitude you would find there on valentine’s day, trying to live up to an expectation they don’t know nothing about.  The date night may be a long walk on a busy street, stopping at intervals to buy road side meals. As long as the conversation is going smooth and your legs are not aching. The date night would go on well. Listen to your partner and allow your partner speak , share a good laugh. Have fun.

I am only smiling because i read that on a blog.

RELATED POST: APPS FOR BETTER RELATIONSHIP 

   Have your pictures taken together ,by a photographer, not some clumsy amateur picture taken on your mobile phone and dumped on Facebook or instagram . Go into a photo studio and say cheese! Or better still valentine.

Don't tell anyone, the camera doesn't even work.

The most expensive and valuable thing about this gift is the wrapper

       Give a Valentine Gift . A well packaged gift that fits into your partner’s life. What matters most about a gift is its usability and how it fits into your partner’s life at the moment. That said, cakes might fit into your partner’s recent sugar cravings and it’s use is pretty obvious. It is best to give 9 special gifts at different times of the day. The more the gifts hit the mark of usability and need, the more points you score on the invisible scale of love on a valentine’s day.

          Tuck your partner in at night with a phone call, recounting the events of the day and giving all appreciation for the effort in making the valentine day special, even if it wasn't  You have to credit your partner for the effort. That is all that counts.

Now i have to thank him for that boring date 

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VALENTINE DAY FOR SINGLES

Valentine for the lonely.

It’s valentine’s day and you know your phone isn’t going to ring with someone on the other end, professing love for you. You know  there are no dates fixed. Nothing! And you really give a hoot about the day. Then plan your day yourself with the following do it yourself  tips, valentine’s day edition.

1.Wake up and dance to your favorite love songs.                

2. Read a love story, watch love films. It doesn't matter if you have seen them before, just go on and watch them again and again.

                                          RELATED POST: THE STORY OF VALENTINE
                                 10 THINGS TO DO FOR YOUR PARTNER ON VALENTINE'S DAY

3. Find out where a valentine party  or program is going on and invite yourself to it. 

Eating out might be a bad idea because you would probably be the only one without an accomplice and it would look a bit weird at least the other guests and waiters would try to do that. They waiters would ask, are you the only one?, are you expecting someone? Or some other more decent way of rubbing it in your face that you came out to dine  in a restaurant alone. Invite yourself to the valentine party or program, you might even meet someone but don’t go with that intention. Your goal for the day is to  have maximum fun not get stuck with any one.

4.Get yourself to do those things you love doing.

 In some cases it just might be sleeping. Just do it!

5. Bury yourself in your work, and pretend you don’t give a hoot!
                            Read:A Single Man's Valentine

6. And if you really give a hoot, then hire a date,for all you know it may be the weird IT guy in the back office, and he would have some stupid enough stories to tell to make you laugh. Or the lonely lady in the next office , or the girl who clearly has no one . Tell your friends, it is not that difficult to get someone to go out with you on a date that would lead nowhere.

You have to understand that there is nothing wrong with being alone. At some point in your life, you have to be alone to get certain things done and there is nothing wrong in having nothing planned for valentine and hating it for the hype it brings.

what am i getting myself into?

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THE STORY OF VALENTINE

Valentine’s day is here again . A day specially made for lovers , so to speak. Recently people in Pakistan protested against the celebration of valentine’s day. Yes ! they did, it is kind of weird. The story behind valentine’s day is a one of courage, strength , perseverance until the point of death. It is a story that inspires us all to live for something so that when we are gone, we would be remembered for something. Not protesting obviously .There was a priest by the name of Valentine. He lived in Rome about 250 AD. That was a long, long time ago!

At that time, Rome was ruled by an emperor by the name of Claudius. Some people called him Claudius the Cruel. St. Valentine didn't like Emperor Claudius, and he wasn’t the only one! A lot of people felt the same way. Claudius wanted a big army. He thought men should volunteer to join. Many men just did not want

to fight in wars. They did not want to leave their wives and girlfriends. So, not many men signed up to fight. 

This made Claudius mad. So do you know what he did? He had a crazy idea that if men were not married, they would not mind joining his army. So Claudius decided not to allow any more marriages. Young people thought his new law was really cruel. Valentine thought it was ridiculous! One of his favorite jobs as a priest

was to marry people. Well after Emperor Claudius passed his law, he kept on performing marriage ceremonies– but secretly. He would whisper the words of the ceremony, while listening for soldiers on the steps outside.
RELATED POST: 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO FOR YOUR PARTNER ON VALENTINE'S DAY

                CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY WITHOUT SPENDING CASH

One night, he did hear footsteps. The couple he was marrying escaped, but he was caught He was thrown in jail and told that his punishment was death. St. Valentine tried to stay cheerful. And do you know what happened? Many young people came to the jail to visit him. They threw flowers and notes up to his window.

They wanted him to know that they, too, believed in love. One of these young people was the daughter of the prison guard. Her father allowed her to visit him in his cell. They often sat and talked for

hours. 

She believed he did the right thing by ignoring the Emperor and performing marriage ceremonies. On the day he was to die, he left her a note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. He signed it, “Love from your Valentine.”

That note started the custom of exchanging love notes on Valentine’s Day. It was written on the day he died, February 14, 269 A.D. Now, every year on this day, people remember. But most importantly, they think about love and friendship. And when they think of Emperor Claudius, they remember how he tried to stand in the way of love, and they laugh -- because they know that love can’t be beaten!

And that is why years later we still have valentine, we still fall in love and get married.  Happy Valentine’s day.

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WHY MEN ARE ADDICTED TO PORN

I am writing my project and watching porn on the side.

These days due to technology advancement and easy accessibility, more and more men are addicted to porn. Porn though unproductive is very addictive and being addicted to porn is no different from being addicted to heroine.One of the tasks a man  or accountability partner to someone who is addicted to pornography is to help them understand their own heart.

Why do they run to porn again and again?

READ: HOW PORNOGRAPHY HIJACKS THE MALE BRAIN.



 The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water” (we often can’t see our own motivations), “but a man of understanding will draw it out”. A  Man needs help to draw out the deeper motivations they are unable or unwilling to see in themselves.

It is important to understand the allure of pornography: What is the inner attractions that make men like porn and coming back to it again and again? What are good accountability questions we can ask to get to the root of the problem?

1. Porn is easy, but relationships are hard.

Relationships, especially our closest relationships, involve work.

Every day we are required to care what’s going on in others’ lives. We must put up with sour moods, offensive behavior and selfishness—both in ourselves and in others.

In contrast, porn offers men a feeling of risk-free intimacy.

Pornography offers men a fantasy world where they are required to know nobody, require no romance and no self-sacrifice for the benefit of others. And for many men the payoff is great: not only can they avoid the messiness of real relationships, they can also feel the delight of a million virtual women catering to their every whim thereby making them addicted to porn.

 Has there been a relationship in your life recently that has been unusually difficult? This may be one of the reasons you are one of the men watching porn excessively.

2. Porn is comfortable, but life is stressful.

In life things go wrong. Expectations are frustrated. People let us down. Tragedies happen. We get sick. We get tired. We get into sharp disagreements. Life is stressful.

Pornography, by contrast, offers a very comfortable world where nothing goes wrong. Porn offers a ready-made setting where we know we will get exactly what we want . The porn industry a multi billion dollar industry thrives on this fact . It aims to get people especially men addicted to porn.

Of course, we know it’s fake. It’s like professional wrestling or “reality” TV. As Chris Hedges says in his book Empire of Illusion, the success of these forms of entertainment lies not in fooling the men watching porn that these stories are real. “Rather, it succeeds because these men watching porn ask to be fooled. They happily pay for the chance to suspend reality.” The constant need to suspend reality makes a lot of men addicted to porn.

RELATED POSTS: ADDICTED TO PORN AND LOVING IT | PORN STAR FINDS GOD

3. Porn is “exciting”, but life is “boring”.

The word “boredom” first started being used by French authors when they wrote about that feeling of discontentment when life gets tedious.

While the feeling of boredom has probably always been around, it is only in the last 300 years we have seen it become a social epidemic. Blaise Pascal said boredom is the plight of a modern man when “he lacks distraction and has no absorbing passion or pastime.”

Boredom is one of the fruit of a leisure culture. As wealth and free time increase, so does our hunger for distraction. The hunger for distraction  in men is one of the reasons men like porn.

As we come to expect constant stimulation and excitement, the day-to-day can seem dull by comparison. With Google at our fingertips, information is everywhere, but we easily become detached, anonymous spectators, rarely taking risks of vulnerable involvement or passionate commitment—rarely acting on what we know.

Culturally we are guilty of what Dorothy Sayers calls the sin of tolerance, “the sin that believes in nothing, cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, interferes with nothing, enjoys nothing, hates nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing and remains alive because there is nothing for which it will die.”

Pornography offers a world of sexual excitement to the bored minds of men who like porn. Porn is a highly sexualized form of the image-based culture in which we live, a world where billions of pictures are painting a thousand words at break-neck speeds. Porn offers a fantasy of pure sexual stimulation, a fantasy that leaves it’s victims addicted to porn.

 Have you found yourself bored or itching for excitement? Do you feel like your life is mundane? That may be the reason you are addicted to porn, your life sucks! Get up out of your seat and set your world in motion.

4. Pornography makes men feel “powerful”, but real life makes them feel powerless.

It is easy to feel small in the world. We intuitively know the world does not revolve around us, but this doesn’t stop us from wishing it did. We want others to pay attention to us, to treat us as important, to put us first. This desire can be so strong at times we can actually begin to feel entitled to it: We want a little corner of the world where we are kings.

Pornography offers men a deluge of power. In a man’s porn-fed fantasy, the girls never say no. In pornography there are no social barriers between a man and the woman of his dreams that is why men like porn. Pornography sells the idea that beautiful women are trophies—collectibles that show the watching world what a real man really is. Pornography also sexualizes male dominance, allowing men to fantasize about a world where women enjoy being treated as objects. “Have you been in any situations recently that made you feel belittled, unimportant, or disrespected? this could be the reason you are addicted to porn.

Get up and take charge of your life.

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HOW TO HANDLE INFIDELITY AND ADULTERY IN MARRIAGE

infidelity ,adultery in marriage Honey, i see you've met Cassandra
                                                  she is our new sex therapist.

The pain caused by infidelity is like the pain you get when you are stabbed by a blunt Knife. The causes of infidelity in a marriage are quite exhaustive ranging from low self esteem, neglect, pervertedness etc. While infidelity is of different forms the generally regarded act of infidelity is sex. The road to recovery is a very long and tortuous one but with determination, courage and perseverance,it can be attained.
Here are a few steps to take after you have discovered any form of infidelity in your marriage
.

1.Discovery 

When you find out that  your partner has been unfaithful, A switch that triggers potent emotions like rage, shock, depression, shame and anger would automatically be turned on. All these emotions  would take over in a matter of hours after the confirmation. You would most likely be overwhelmed with the thought of ending the marriage; then, next moment you might become desperate in saving it. At such instance, you need to calm down and  take things calmly.You have to first understand that it is not your fault. There is no excuse so great as to make anyone cheat on the vow made before God and Man. You might find yourself in a pool of questions, but answers might not come your way. 

2. Space . 

It can be an intense circumstance to discover the affair. When emotions are high, it is best that you give each other space or  timeout from each other so you can let the fire die down without hurting one another. Especially if children are involved. Children get worried easily and so you wouldn't want to trouble them with this issue. 

3.Seek Counsel. 

If you have discovered that your partner is unfaithful , you have to tell someone.This is something that you should and need not go through all by yourself. More than ever, it is at this moment when you need to confide and share your thoughts and feelings to  a trusted counselor or spiritual leader. Their nonjudgmental and objective insights will help you in clearing your head. You will be able to  get your life together , calm down and heal faster to put the affair on the right perspective. 

4.Take Time.

You should not be in a hurry to delve into sensitive details of this infidelity. You have to give  it time . Time to heal , time to weigh your options , time to make a decision, time to be okay. Discussions should be deferred until both of you can  converse positively without prejudice or judgement.

RELATED POSTS: WRONG REASONS TO GET MARRIED  | WHY CHEATERS CHEAT

5.Making Amends

Recovery from an affair is not simple. It is a process that will go on and on until the wounds have healed and  the final shards of pain has been eliminated . To help you in the process of healing, you must take the necessary steps. 

6.Taking Responsibility.

 If you were the one who cheated, you have to take the responsibility for the wrong actions you have done. Taking responsibility is understanding that you have faltered and there is no excuse, it is not about pushing or passing the blame or trying to vindicate yourself while in harms' way. You must end the  affair; stopping any interaction and communication with the third party involved. 

RELATED POST: SIGNS OF INFIDELITY

7. Honesty. 

When  you have recovered from the initial shock then you can deal with the problem at hand with a positive attitude; discuss and talk about what took place. You should be honest and open and true to yourself even if it is very difficult to talk or to listen because of the intense pain. 

8.Losing to Win.

 Saving the marriage after acts of infidelity is something that both  parties need to agree upon without compromise and set deal breakers. It is not  right or wise that you are the only one who wants the marriage to continue while your spouse actually wants  out. If things are going this way, then the marriage is good as ended. The recovery and settlement of things may take long. Nonetheless, if you share a common goal of reconciliation, you can both give your utmost commitment, energy and time to help each other heal.

READ:After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful,.

RELATED POSTS: GET YOUR EX BACK | HOW TO GET OVER YOUR EX

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