BEAUTY-THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN

BEAUTY

Beauty has been an important issue right from the days of the Bible. In fact right from the existence of man. Everything God made is beautiful to him, but some men have separated some things as beautiful and some things as not so beautiful, the criteria for beauty varies everyday from beauty pageants to personal perception. There is also the saying “beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Beauty was a major factor in choosing queens and female rulers in the bible days.

 WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF BEAUTY? 

Beauty comes from God   (good genes,natural foods and good climate, skin care,beauty treatments). .

It is given to some as a door opener i.e their beauty has a lot to do with their destiny and it is given to some as a reward, for good doing or kind heartedness.

 WHAT IS THE STANDARD FOR TAGGING SOMEONE BEAUTIFUL?.
Beauty is both physical and internal, it has been said time and time that when you have a good heart, it has a way of reflecting on your face, the best description of beauty is given in the most romantic book ever written by king Solomon, called song of Solomon in chapter 4, verse 1 to 7, “how beautiful you are my darling? Oh how beautiful, it went on to describe every physical feature from her eyes, mouth, lips, temples and breast and ended by saying there is no flaw in you. That is the perfect beauty, still in that same book,  we see that a  certain skin colour was despised in chapter 1 verse 5, “dark am I, yet lovely, o daughters of Jerusalem, dark like the tent of kedar, do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun.” Meaning that beauty to some are actually superficially based on skin colour and the writer was trying to correct that notion. We would take the beautiful women in the bible (to be on a level ground) one at a time according to their perceived beauty by historic scholars .

Well, some of us believe that this is beautiful, the others   not so much..

· VASHTI:  She was the queen, the wife of King Xerxes and she was lovely to look upon, she was the most beautiful women in the whole kingdom and she was also powerful, the only thing that got her to the highest post of leadership was her beauty, she was like a tourist attraction, like a gift to nature, she was like a God, some  scholars have said that she was even more beautiful than Esther. Beauty in itself cannot stand alone, the only thing the king needed her for ,was to showcase her beauty . Beauty can take you places but it can’t sustain you.

· SARAI: She was a very beautiful woman, she was loyal to her husband and listened to her husband, she was very submissive and obedient. When the Egyptians saw her, she was praised to pharaoh, she was ageless and  timeless, at 75 she was married by pharaoh. Her beauty was a gift from God as a preservative for the bearing of children in old age. Her beauty brought favour and blessing to her husband and family.

· REBECCA:  She was also very beautiful,  her unique criteria was the fact that she was a virgin, it was stated along with her beauty, it was also discovered that she knew the way of God, she knew the mind of God, that is why she went all the way to ensure that Jacob got the blessing because she was a woman of vision, right from the time she was to be married to Isaac, she did everything in line with the prophesy that was given to Isaac, she appeared at the right time, she went out of her way to feed all the animals. She was  beautiful, but she had so many other things to sustain the beauty, her beauty caused an attraction, but her character and obedience to the leading of the spirit sustained the attraction and made it grow.

RELATED POST: HOME BEAUTY PRODUCTS | THE BEAUTY OF BIGGER BUTTS

· ESTHER: She was also very beautiful , and she had brains too, she won the first beauty pageant ever,  she listened to advice , she did not lean on her own understanding, she was subject to twelve months of beauty treatments which included oil of myrrh and six months of perfumes and cosmetics. She was well mannered ,so she got all her supplies on time.This emphasizes the need for good and natural cosmetics not harsh skin damaging chemicals for skin bleaching and whitening that you have today. She understands that there is a purpose for everything, she had the understanding that beauty can only go so far, so she depended not on all her beauty, but on knowledge, understanding, wisdom and the power of God , and that brought power to her and influence, she knew how to channel her beauty, when she was to appear before the king she took care of herself while others were fasting for her and when the king saw her, she was highly favoured, her beauty was a tool she was able to use because of her understanding. Beauty can be a very good tool

My beauty is a tool for you to read this post

· BATHSHEBA:  She was also very beautiful, but was very foolish, when her husband went to war, all she thought of doing  was to go out and have a public bathe, she also went ahead to defile herself with the king, though she was wise enough to cleanse herself after the shameful act, her beauty led to the death of her husband, the birth and death of a bastard and was a major influence in the polygamous life of King Solomon. Her beauty was like a sword in the hand of a toddler. 

· JEZEBEL:  Jezebel’s beauty was controversial. Her beauty was totally unnatural and due to cosmetic enhancements, she was the originator of beauty enhancements and her beauty was regarded as deceptive. She also became a husband manipulator, and an idol worshipper, her beauty was always used to manipulate but it finally failed when the prophets refused to look at her but threw her down.


· TAMAR:   Tamar is the daughter of King David. She was said to be extremely beautiful but her beauty was a burden to her. It got her raped by her own step brother Absalom. She became a destitute, with no one willing to marry her.  Her beauty was of no benefit to her, it only brought her shame , pain and disgrace and eventually led to a lot of blood shed and death. Beauty sometimes can indeed be a curse.

· Karen and her sisters: Karen was one of the daughters of Job, and God gave them such beauty as a honour for their father job’s good deeds and he made sure they were the most beautiful in the land.This particular instance casts a new light on beauty as a reward for good deeds.

Read:Biblical Beauty: Ancient Secrets and Modern Solutions and Beauty Secrets of the Bible

Read More

SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.

Words are as strong as the fist.

The statistics of domestic homicide  as a result of being in an abusive relationship has increased in recent years . It has become rampant in celebrities and commoners alike, while celebrity cases graze the pages of newspapers and magazines, others happen and are often swept under the carpet. It is often  impossible to think that , the once passionate and fun filled relationship could turn abusive but the records prove otherwise as 1 in 3 youth  report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner. A lot of victims of abusive relationships however keep this secret from most people until they eventually lose their limbs, their face or their life. Most of them are usually blinded to the screaming signs of abuse in their relationship while others simply ignore it  claiming  " no one is perfect". Abuse in relationships are of diverse kinds, the most indexed is the physical abuse,which involves physically hurting a partner. There are however other forms of abuse in relationships such as sexual abuse, emotional abuse and  verbal abuse.

Sexual abusive relationships are those relationship where a partner is constantly forced to have sexual intercourse against his or her will,or carry out sexual acts that are otherwise considered inappropriate by the partner, a common example of this is forcing a partner to perform oral sex against their will .A recent survey among youths in America showed that 1 in 4  girls who have been in relationships reveal they have been pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse by their partners.

Emotional abusive relationships are the most common but least recognised . It involves relegating the self worth and independence of the victim by his or her partner through diverse ways like isolation and controlling behaviour

Verbal Abusive relationships which is often grouped under emotional abusive relationships but rather has a life of it's own involves yelling, name calling, shaming and blaming especially among friends and relatives. This is usually the initial form of abuse in the relationship before it steps up a notch to emotional , then sexual  and finally physical abuse.

RELATED POSTS: 8 MEN YOU SHOULD NEVER MARRY | 8 LADIES TO NEVER MARRY

There are always signs of  potentially abusive relationship but are often ignored or not recognized for what they are. Here are a few of them.

A boy being a product of an abusive relationship.

1.History and  Background : People with abusive family background are more likely to be in abusive relationships than people who  haven't ever experienced abuse.There is a 60% chance that a boy who grew up in a house where his father was always putting his mother down would do the same in the nearest future,and a girl who was always caught in cross fires at a young age is more likely to be involved in an abusive relationship, there is no scientific evidence to back this up other than a noticeable generational pattern in the life of humans.

A partner that has also abused someone in the past is more likely to repeat it with another especially if he got away with the first abuse. No matter how angelic and romantic your partner seems, if he or she abused his or her last partner or ex, then it is just a matter of time before you start experiencing such if the issue is not addressed squarely.

2. Compulsive Love: There are certain subliminal actions taken by lovers that only point to the fact that they need their head checked. Most often times it is regarded as being romantic. A recent case where a man sold his own kidneys to get his girlfriend a diamond wedding ring in Ukraine is nothing short of a compulsive love. This kind of love would eventually lead to being in an abusive relationship. The issue here is , one partner loves another so much to the extent of harming himself or herself, once this gesture is not met with the presumed appropriate appreciation at any point in time in the relationship, it is immediately replaced with self loathe and loathe for the partner and   one who could harm himself would not hesitate to harm another. Being in a  relationship where a partner threatens to commit suicide if dumped is like sitting on gun powder.

NO! " Don't even ask me why.

3.Controlling Behaviour: A relationship where one partner is so insecure, he or she monitors where you go to, limits your friends and family contact, acts excessively jealous and possessive, is an abusive relationship. If at any time you feel you have to walk on egg shells around your partner or being in a constant state of fear of your partner, or unable to call your partner to order if you feel you have been wronged then you are obviously enduring an abusive relationship.

It would be cruel to write a joke here

4. Degrading attitude: If all your partner does is complain about your faults,treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see, make you feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner until you eventually start believing that you deserve to be hurt or abused by your partner, you are  in an abusive relationship.

5. Violent Nature: If your partner has a violent Nature and is prone to fights and tantrums, it may be a sign that you are in an abusive relationship. Most times it starts with others apart from you, road side strangers, office workers, subordinates, colleagues and even family members. You initially see yourself as the exception, the one who supposedly calms them down when the issues arise.As time goes on, you would also be a victim . It usually starts with a slap or a violent kick, then they immediately apologize and make up, only for it to happen again. It is advisable not to turn the other cheek in this situation.

Read:The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go

6. Verbal/Physical Torture: If your partner ever threatens to kill or hurt you and constantly yells at you , forces you to have sex in an unedifying way or goes ahead to blame you for their abusive nature. You have to run out of there while you still can before the cops are called in to identify a dead body.

or here

Being in an abusive relationship is nothing to be ashamed of, be truthful to yourself and yourself only and take the necessary steps. Here is how to get out of an abusive relationship

RELATED POSTS: PARASITIC RELATIONSHIPS: ARE YOU IN ONE? | HOW TO GET OVER YOUR EX

Read More

THE COMMON DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WIVES AND MOTHERS (Your wife is not your mother).

Let your mother hold on to you as much as she wants
there is a software called photoshop on my laptop

The very first woman a man gets acquainted with in life is his mother.The first breasts he suckles, the first kiss he gets, the first full body massage, the first playmate, the one who totally understands each cry until of cause she gets confused.The bond between a man and his mother within the first few years of his life seals  what he would later expect from the woman who loves him or claims to. It is totally different from the way he sees girls who just happen to be an everyday prop in this lifetime movie. But when he settles down and begins to think in the  line of falling in love and building a home , he starts searching for a mother to call his wife. He never really finds it but must learn to deal with what he has and nurture it into whatever it would become. Here are some facts about the differences between wives and mothers.

I am the head, I am your wife.

1.Your mother might be submissive to her spouse and your wife might not. 

This is assuming your mother is from the traditional good ole days where the men worked and the women raised the children, tilled the garden and kept the bedroom warm. She might be from the dominion-submission role of husband and wife. Your wife on the other hand might not be that submissive. She would respect you because she loves you and occasionally when you earn it but there would be times where she might find it okay to let you know, you have  lost your mind and at times she just might be right.

2.Your mother might be a bread winning assistant. This may have put her in an automatic back seat in financial decision making as pertaining to the family  but nowadays with  girl power on the rise and gender equality as a millennium goal for public and corporate bodies,your wife just might be the bread winner and you the assistant, deal with it! So in cases pertaining financial decision, she would not be acting like your mother, saying " your decision is okay with me", NO! she would tell you about the risks in your plans, more like the loopholes and also prepare the budget.She might even have a private account stashed away from you.

No way are you going to use our savings to buy a macbook to  play more  video games.

3. Your wife might not be as spiritual as your mother. Okay you probably had/have a mother that goes for spiritual cleansing, all night vigils, mission to feed the poor and all kinds of spiritual exercises, your wife might be on the fence. She is spiritual in some things, logical in others, analytic yet in others, and indifferent yet in some areas as against the all weather spiritual mother who prays for rain. Apart from the fact that atheism is on the rise, because religion has not provided answers to a lot of mankind's problems but has in some cases complicated it. Your wife might not be religious but rather hold a knowledge of God and be more God loving rather than God fearing.She might see religion as a veil but instead come to the knowledge of God and how to exhibit the virtues he has already put in her.

RELATED POST: 8 LADIES TO NEVER MARRY  | HOW I MET MY MOTHER

4. Your mother might be named after her environment,because everyone knows her and likes her, she makes every other person's business her business, friends, family, neighbors and all.Your wife might have strict boundaries,she sees people for who they really her and not what they can be. Keeps the ones that seem to be no good far from her. She might also not approve of some friends who she feels are out to tie you down to some frivolities.

5. Your wife might be more of a WebMD follower,when she has a headache ,she goggles it , joins online groups and all when she is pregnant and be very critical about symptoms.. Your mother might instead be a home remedy expert, dishing out the old wives tales of how a particular green leaf cures back pain and reduces menstrual cramps. When you have a headache, your mother serves your drugs and cures you with her motherly love, your wife might instead give you a glass of cold water and then call the doctor or consult WebMD.

Why don't you just tell your son to do this?

6.Your mother might be a super woman, juggling domestic chores and all , your wife on the other end may also be a super woman in her rights at least at work, where she runs a corporation or carries her company's finances on her shoulder. She might need a maid for the home front.

7.You can never do wrong at least when your mother is concerned, your wife might not think that way. She might think , time after time that you need your head checked. She might think that your mother needs to get your head out of her ass and see you for who you really are. She loves you but she is not blind to faults , just as you are not blind to hers.

You are going to be punished for this silly PDA with your mother right in front of me.

8.If all the above differences fit your mother and your wife, then you can be rest assured that your wife would still make effort to be in shape  when she is 60, she would be able to hold up a current affairs or sports discussion when she is  60 and she would still have the fire as long as you keep your belly flat. It's the world we live in now, so deal with it, otherwise, go find yourself something else.If the opposite is the case you are living in paradise.

Read:The Mother-in-Law Dance: Can Two Women Love the Same Man and Still Get Along?

Read More

GETTING THINGS DONE ---THE EXECUTION OF YOUTH DEVELOPMENT

Perfect Execution--------I hope no one can see the helicopter though?

A great idea or plan without proper execution is merely wishful thinking- a dream in your mind or even on paper  that  never  sees the light of the day .

Youths are bombarded with ideas everyday from the universe but they often struggle with execution, actually getting things done.

From the book Four Disciplines of Execution, we get a  mental framework on execution especially as it concerns youth development. Here are three disciplines of execution as relating to youth development.

We use the term youth development  based on its Pittman 1993 definition in which he described it as the continuous  growth process in which all youth are engaged in attempting to  meet their basic personal and social needs in being safe and feeling cared for, valued,  useful, and being spiritually grounded, and  to build skills and competencies that allow them to function and contribute in their daily lives

1. Priortize and Focus.

If i focus on  these balls i would be able to merge the human testicles.

Most youths pursue too many goals or initiatives at a time in the quest for development and fulfillment. Thus, they never realize the power of priortizing and focusing, of leveraging resources and people toward an overarching and singular goal.

Instead of having a list of 10 things that you are actively pursing like trying to get a degree, relationship, career building, money making etc, have a list of one to two really important goals.Follow these goals hard with the sole purpose of getting things done as pertaining to that singular goal. And once they are accomplished, effectively embed them into the regular and essential ebb and flow of work. You have to understand that you have to be successful in only one thing ( a goal with perfect execution) and then have a success domino effect in other things.

But how do you focus on one or two important goals when there are other important aspects of  youth development?

Just because something is not the priority for a season does not mean it is not important. The regular, ongoing aspects of  getting things done as pertaining to youth development are absolutely essential. But raising an initiative to the top for a season of sustained focus will always rally your time, resources and the forces of nature in  a clear direction.

One possible way to get these things done  is to allocate time to work towards the execution of that singular goal everyday, without any distractions or diversion. Let your mind, body and soul come to terms with the fact that, that singular goal rules.This would ensure you have a healthier and more effective “new normal.”

Admittedly, it is risky. It feels much safer to spread your resources  and focus on a plethora of things. When you focus on everal at a time, you feel like you have a higher probability of succeeding and youth development. The reality is that focusing on everything is more risky. Because no great thing can be  accomplished when everything is the priority. When everything is the priority, nothing really is and you have a very low probability of actually getting things done.

Quoting Winston Churchill , "Execution is the hard work between designing the strategy and the results, the impact". A great  plan or idea without execution is simply  wishful thinking, a dream in your mind or  on paper that is never translated into reality. The hard work can only become meaningful enough when it is in a clear direction.

RELATED POST: YOUTH DEVELOPMENT. YOUR CHOICE ;YOUR FUTURE

2. Set Milestones.

If after writing this goal on my mirror
it still fails then i am tattooing the
next one on my face.

After you have decided on a goal  for a season, set milestones that will, by God’s grace and all things being equal, result in the fulfillment of the goal.

To understand milestones, you must understand the difference between Milestones and execution. Milestones are predictive. Execution are outcome based.

For example, imagine you set a goal to lose 25 pounds. The 25 pounds is the Execution. You know the goal and the due date. But to execute well, you need Milestones. It may be your caloric intake, the number of times you hit the gym each week, and the number of cheat meals you are allowed. If you don’t have the right milestones, you will not hit the execution.

You have to understand that is not enough to just have the will to win , you need to get milestones that would result in execution- getting things done.

In summary, don’t just set and declare an important goal. Set milestones underneath that goal. Otherwise  nothing is going to happen.

                                                                      

3. Keep a  goal score.

When you set a clear goal for yourself in relation to youth development. You must identify what success will be. How will you know the goal is accomplished? Keep score. Go over it everyday. It's like a game of soccer, if you go on the field and just play without taking any scores, the attitude is bound to be lackadaisical but once scoring begins, morale rises. Youth development goals have to be constantly scored or else they would become death bed regrets. That is the only way to get these things done.

In a culture of execution, there is also a culture of accountability. When you set milestones  underneath the overarching goal,  you must develop the discipline to discuss the progress, trust to quickly put problems on the table, and courage to confront issues in getting things done.

Further Reading: The 4 Disciplines of Execution: Achieving Your Wildly Important Goals

RELATED POST: YOUTH DEVELOPMENT- CUT THE CRAP!

Read More

THE PREGNANT WOMAN AND HER HUSBAND

One of the most remarkable period in a woman's life is her pregnancy period.It is also the most confusing period for the husband of  pregnant women. Everything changes, her face, her body, her eating ability and worst of all her patience.Here are tips for the  pregnant woman and her husband  during that crucial  time in their life– the time of pregnancy.

Husband of Pregnant women

If only you knew who the real father is

RELATED POST: GET PREGNANT NOW

 Back rub is a Necessity: The number one thing that  husbands of pregnant women may as well work toward getting used to doing all through your wife's pregnancy is to give her loads and loads of back rubs. Back pain in pregnant women is very common.Many women feel back pain throughout their pregnancy. In any case regardless of the fact that they don't, back rubs are a great course to help them focus  and take their brains off  the whole lot that they're going through ,more like "the whole lot that their husbands" are putting them through for instance  weight gain and the physical changes that they're experiencing.Taking time out of the day as a responsible husband of a pregnant woman  to rub his wife's back for no less than ten minutes might be a lifeline for the pregnant woman and her husband.!`

When i'm through with your back you wouldn't even feel your spine again

·  Attentiveness and empathy should be your watchword:  There are some pregnant women who have to deal with over-the-top increasing hormones, and for those ladies it is not odd to head off from being cheerful to hollering in one second even. For those husbands of pregnant women who have to experience this, attempt to take a profound breath and console  her emphatically in any method plausible. Pregnant women relish this with their husbands and will adore you more for it!

I am only doing this because i read it in a blog on empathy

· Do the Chores: Even though some wives are expected to clean the house, do the dishes, laundry, and other house chores especially when you don't have any help.Husband of pregnant women have to realize that on some days the greatest challenge of a pregnant woman is to get up out of bed throughout their pregnancy. By letting your wife unwind when she gets back from work (in the event that she works) or giving her a chance to unwind after supper instead of assuming that she'll jump right to the dishes, and doing some of the house chores yourself, is definitely a big help to those pregnant women who do find it challenging to stroll from their bedroom to the front door!

                              RELATED POST: LETTER TO MY FUTURE WIFE |      COMMON  DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR WIFE AND MOTHER

This man must think i'm still pregnant for one more week

· Redesign the House especially the bedroom: For some women the bedroom is the sanctuary. It is where they can unwind, get rest, read a book, watch TV and of course sleep.  Changing the sheets, redecorating the room would definitely lighten her mood if it is done well.Not to mention, the type of material on the bed .. Try out Egyptian cotton or organic cotton, 1000-thread count, double-thick pillows... whatever it is... if your budget permits, get her the bed of her dreams and a comfy couch . She's the one carrying the person growing inside of her, not you the husband of the pregnant woman! That trumps anything you may have to deal with. Young Men, to be honest, you can’t imagine what it's like to have a person growing inside of you .

I read somewhere that this color calms pregnant women........Oh  it doesn't?

· Forgive her Mood swings and tantrums: If as a pregnant woman's husband you find your wife deals with mood swings during her pregnancy, forgive them immediately.

 Realize that

1) not every pregnant women deals with pregnancy the same way   2) for pregnant women and their husbands, every day may be an adventure;

 3) not everyone cares that she's pregnant... in other words, life still goes on. Bills still need to be paid, individuals still call her. and so forth. . So if she takes it out on you the husband accidentally, love her through it.. Whatever happens, don't contribute to the ball of emotions she may be dealing with. Someone needs to be the stable one and  it has to be the husband of pregnant women... deal with it. Husband, Love Your Wife... Even when She's Pregnant! Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad!, so suck it up and  work on getting both of you through the next nine months.

Please don't cry...........Okay  i would take my shirt off and dance  gangnam style!

Read about the whole thing, don't just talk to friends and family and complain of walking on egg shells, read a book and enlighten yourself about the whole thing, a  600 word blog post filled with sarcasm would not afford you all the things and little details you need to know, if you were man enough to shove a sperm down her ovaries, you should be man enough to read a book like " The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be ,  to learn  how your sperm is doing and how it is affecting her body, her life and her moods.

RELATED POST: PREGNANT WOMAN AND HER HUSBAND'S CHORES | THE PREGNANT WOMAN AND HER HUSBAND'S QUESTIONS

Read More