Male Facial

Male Facial

This is the concluding part of the male facial grooming series.

7. CLAY MASK

The greatest challenge of a clay mask for a man is actually getting to put it on and not be seen . Clay masking is something that can be done in 10 minutes early in the morning. Clay is very effective in toxin extraction, it removes dead skin  , unclog pores , extracts excess oil and shine, it also helps cellular regeneration.  A recommended clay mask is Aztec Secrets made of 100% natural calcium bentonite clay. Do not use clay with any additives, fragrances or animal products and definitely do not exercise with a clay mask or sleep with it still on, put on for 10 minutes, meditate, get up and wash it off. No one has to know.

Except you are Micheal Buble , then you can post it on Instagram

8.  SHAVING CREAM

Shave from top to bottom not from the the centre

Using a shaving cream when shaving is as old as time.  Most guys get razor bumps when shaving cream is not used to shave . Gel based shaving cream are the best for preventing stubble from drying out and easing the shaving process by providing a cushion between the skin and the razor. Nivea for Men Q10 Energy Shaving Gel is one of the best shaving creams out there, that is not excessively thick  like some other shaving creams which in turn makes it even more difficult to shave with. It is not advisable to shave daily, it is important to let your facial skin rest  for at least 2 days before shaving again. Shave with three days intervals.

9. AFTER SHAVE

Apply Aftershave, then admire
yourself in the mirror.

After shaves are mainly therapeutic moisturizing treatment  intended to soothe and protect  the facial skin from shaving irritation and razor burn.  After shaves are supposed to be  alcohol free formula  and the good ones such as Baxter of California After Shave Balm, hydrates and nourishes  the facial skin as it combats the serious dryness caused by shaving. It contains  Glycerin and organic silicones combine with soothing aloe and allantoin  and Natural healing ingredients such as tea tree oil and cooling menthol to renew, calm, and condition the facial skin also to  help  reduce shaving irritation. 

10. LIP BALM

One of the major turn offs on a man’s face is chapped lips. Male facials would not be complete or done at all without including a lip balm for smooth , soft  and good looking lips. The skin on the lips is very different from the facial skin because the skin of the lips lacks oil glands to regulate moisture content as well as melanin to shield the sun. These makes the lips naturally susceptible to dryness, cracking and scaling. Use Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Lip Moisturizer

Leave it to Japanese Men to apply lip balm
on the streets.#Someone'snotgettinglaid.

11. SUNSCREEN

During the Summers, a sunscreen might be one of the best accessories for men’s facial skin. The greatest clarion call for sunscreen would be that of Hugh Jackman  who is presently recovering from yet another skin cancer scare. Saying ”Please don’t be foolish like me, get yourself checked and wear sunscreen”. Fact is our environment is constantly polluted way more than it was decades ago and  so the need to protect the facial skin from toxic gases and pollutants has become much more necessary than ever. Jack Black Sun Guard Sunscreen is the most recommended and Bald Guyz Sunscreen is also very good for bald guys.

Now he applies sunscreen indoors.

 12.  FACE TONER

Black heads, dirt and other skin impurities can all be gone with the use of a good toner, primarily on the face.  Toners with salicylic acids like Neutrogena Rapid clear are the most recommended.

In order of priority, here are the male facial treatments, again.

1. Facial wash

2. Moisturizer

3. Sunscreen

4. Lip balm

5. Clay Mask

6. Facial Scrub

7. Pills

8. Facial Toner

9. Shaving Cream

Get that perfect look you always wanted,
you might also need a little
photoshop with all the
the facial treatments 

10. Aftershave

11. Eye cream

12. Male Facial Hair removal

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Sex Positions to help get pregnant

Positions to get pregnant

When trying to conceive,  a lot of issues and myths come into play about preferable sexual positions to get pregnant. While most of them are not scientifically proven, some experts and pregnant women swear by certain sexual positions to quickly get a bun in the oven faster than others. Sex is the most important activity when you are trying to get pregnant. However, when you have sex in relation to the woman’s menstruation day is also very important. How you have sex is the least important of those three. How you have sex might not be as important as whom you have sex with (Some guys  keep shooting blanks ) but it’s more important than where you have sex in order to get pregnant.  Where you have sex is totally irrelevant for now until someone comes up with another myth and gets an interview on daytime television. It however sucks for a child to discover he was conceived at the backseat of an old mustang.  

                         HOW TO HAVE SEX |     GET PREGNANT

What are the best sex positions to get pregnant?1. Missionary

There is a reason this position is called missionary position. A missionary is someone sent to a foreign country to do mostly religious work which is expected to yield fruits. Missionary position is where the male is on top and the female is on her back receiving the good work of the male which is expected to yield fruits. Missionary is the oldest sexual position and is also widely regarded as the most decent. Back in the olden days, missionary was the commonest sex position and to some the only sexual position and the world population has steadily increased  since then- Thanks to good old missionary. The key here is to ensure deep penetration , a pillow might come in handy somewhere under the woman to ensure that they work with gravity ( which is totally a myth that simply has a placebo effect.) A Deep penetration would reduce the distance the swimmers have to travel before they find a good egg.

2. Doggy style

Just like the name implies, this is the only style most animals especially dogs use and they get pregnant and litter the world with much more animals. The doggy style ensures deep penetration good for conception and has been getting women and girls pregnant since it was founded. The only problem here is , most times you might not remember who the father is. 

3. Glowing Triangle

Glowing triangle is a modification of missionary position in which the ladies legs are bent to ensure deeper penetration and to work with gravity alongside maximum clitoris stimulation to ensure the lady gets knocked up in no time.

4. Magic Mountain

Magic Mountain is a modification of the doggy style. The mountain here, being a bunch of pillows for the lady to rest her chest on while her rear end is left at the mercies of a baby maker. Deep penetration is guaranteed. Magic mountain is a good sex position to get pregnant.

   Best Sex Positions for Pregnancy

 Certain points are also  very crucial when it comes to sex positions to get pregnant. 

What are these crucial points for sex to get pregnant?

1. Being Stress Free

2. Eating foods that help you get pregnant

3. Orgasm:  Orgasms opens up and dilates the  cervix, lubricates the  vagina and makes the uterus and vagina contract. All these factors put together are the perfect recipe for baby making. And when the pregnancy finally comes here are positions to ensure you still have great fun.

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Kenya Polygamy Law, WTF?

Polygamy in Kenya,  WTF?

Yet another messed  up Law emanating from Africa and this time, it is not the Anti-gay Bill, or some bill from Nigeria proposing to send public smokers to 6 months in Jail.  This time it is from Kenya and is a polygamous law. This is practically taking the sister wives show from the television into the homes of people. Kenya is where our dearly beloved Lupita Nyong’o is from and is where the large African safari is. It is also the home country of Barack Obama. The country’s president Uhuru Kenyatta has signed into law a controversial marriage bill legalizing polygamy. This means that a married man would be allowed to take more than one wife without consulting existing spouse. There is however no specified limit to the number of wives to be taken by a man. In islam, men are allowed to take four wives.

The female MPS in the parliament had walked out in disgust after their male counterparts had voted through the amendments which was rather less than smart, as we would have expected that the female MPS would immediately start working on creating a polyandry bill. 

                                     UGANDA BE KIDDING ME

The law also says a woman is entitled to equal share of what the couple acquired during the marriage which would be given to her upon divorce. This would however lead to confusion when 4 wives have to share what a man has when he dies or when the four wives get tired of his male genital odor.

The Christian leaders, who are always late to the party, opposed the law claiming it would affect the family and the financial position of the other spouses while undermining the Christian principles and then they went back into their churches and did nothing about it. “The tone of that bill, if it becomes law, would be demeaning to women since it does not respect the principle of equality of spouses in the institution of marriage,” Archbishop Timothy Ndambuki, from the National Council of Churches of Kenya had said before it was signed into law.

This is however still better than Nigeria’s child marriage law, since girls have to be at least 18 to get married, so there is still no room for pedophiles. 

The law abolished traditional marriages, and enforces the payment of bride price as well as  not recognizing cohabiting which in Kenya is known as  “come-we –stay”. 

Now the real implications of this law 

1. This is the greatest misogynist law, since the law the prohibited women from voting. This means a man can easily cheat with any woman he deems fit while still married. It would be practically impossible for a man to just marry a woman ,so that they can be intimate. For a man to marry a woman there has to be the wooing and dating period. So while he stays married, a man can go out of his matrimonial home at any time to prepare to take a second wife. It happens all the time but this time, he would have the backing of the law.

LETTER FROM A MISTRESS

2. The Kenyan’s president has just signed into the law, the fact that his daughter would one day be second fiddle to another man.

3. Raising a child in a polygamous African Family is one of the worst things that can happen to a child after rape , accident  and sicknesses, all of which have a higher probability of occurring in a polygamous family.

4. Someday, if Lupita marries a Kenyan man in Kenya, she’s going to be a second wife.

Just look ar her, in all her second wife glory.

5. If Barack and Michelle had married in Kenya, America could have to deal with two first ladies. (Not sure how that would work)

Read  The Witness Wore Red: The 19th Wife Who Brought Polygamous Cult Leaders to Justice

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