Safe Sex Anyone? ~ ElijahForce
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Wednesday 3 July 2013

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Safe Sex Anyone?

safe sex, trending, health

SAFE SEX ANYONE?
When you hear  safe sex;you immediately think of condoms. Just Condoms.As long as you use condoms you are practicing safe sex. Well,  safe sex goes beyond condoms and you can as well soak your condoms in apple cidar vinegar or wear double coated and lubricated latex and still die within seconds. Because condoms never make sex safe, there is nothing safe about bodies on bodies and exchange of bodily fluids and a single “ barrier device” cannot make it safe even if the so called device is waterproof,elastic and durable. You are better off using these condoms to make waterproof microphones and  prevent  rifle barriers from clogging .
safe sex, trending, health


A  Chinese couple ( names unnecessary) fell to their death  in Wuhan  in June 2013 when the window they were leaning on while having sex gave way. They were most likely in an ascent to desire position  while leaning against a window and then the man’s knees grew weak , the window gave way and the lady flew through just before she climaxed and they both  crashed into the concrete floor of the ancient city of  Wuhan. Although it is not clear if they used  condoms or not, since they were a couple.That’s unsafe sex. In this case , a trampoline ,cushion  or even parachute would have had much more effect than a condom .


safe sex, trending, healthA young girl in  India, a student of Ranchi Women College decided to taste the forbidden fruit for the first time in May 2013 and man , did it hurt? It was with her long time boyfriend of 5 years and it took  place in a hotel, they both checked into. They had checked into different rooms to avoid any suspicion as the society they live in is as hypocritical as can be. At 2 am, Amit Kumar got up and made way for room 203 to carry out the 203. Of course they intended to practice safe sex and they did until the bleeding started. After bleeding for 2 hours, amit had to hide his shame and call the hotel attendants to come and put an end to what they didn't start. By then, the young girl was gone. Amit was initially charged for rape but even when he is released, he would never look at a vagina the same way again and he would understand the meaning of safe sex. Lube would have had much more effect than a condom here, but of course, the people said their gods were responsible.
safe sex, trending, health
A housewife in Lagos , Nigeria decided to check out a number on her bucket list in March 2013 and practice safe sex with her married neighbor while her own husband was out working and the neighbor’s wife was also out. The intensity of the whole action drove her blood pressure to insane rates and she eventually suffered a cardiac arrest which was originally thought to be an orgasm by her partner. It was only  rightfully concluded as a cardiac arrest when she remain still and started  growing cold. The man was arrested and of course his plea of carrying out safe sex was thrown in the trash. In this case, a doctor’s report  and personal check up would have been more important than condom. Here again, the people attributed the death to some diabolic oath taken by the one of the couple with or without the knowledge of both partners.

In May 2013, a man from Montreal was sentenced to  serve a one year prison sentence due to the death of his lover through safe sex practices that included sado masochistic sex which involved binding her in chains with her feet fully restrained and a metal collar around her neck and then he went out to get pizza and came back to meet her dead. In this case, common sense would have been better suited than condoms.
safe sex, trending, health
And finally in March 2013, a prostitute in Zimbabwe died while having safe sex but when she was being lifted out in a coffin, she came back to life and shouted,” do you want to kill me?”. She had obviously not fulfilled her destiny. Now the ultimate question, are you practicing  safe sex?