Male Facial

Male Facial

This is the concluding part of the male facial grooming series.

7. CLAY MASK

The greatest challenge of a clay mask for a man is actually getting to put it on and not be seen . Clay masking is something that can be done in 10 minutes early in the morning. Clay is very effective in toxin extraction, it removes dead skin  , unclog pores , extracts excess oil and shine, it also helps cellular regeneration.  A recommended clay mask is Aztec Secrets made of 100% natural calcium bentonite clay. Do not use clay with any additives, fragrances or animal products and definitely do not exercise with a clay mask or sleep with it still on, put on for 10 minutes, meditate, get up and wash it off. No one has to know.

Except you are Micheal Buble , then you can post it on Instagram

8.  SHAVING CREAM

Shave from top to bottom not from the the centre

Using a shaving cream when shaving is as old as time.  Most guys get razor bumps when shaving cream is not used to shave . Gel based shaving cream are the best for preventing stubble from drying out and easing the shaving process by providing a cushion between the skin and the razor. Nivea for Men Q10 Energy Shaving Gel is one of the best shaving creams out there, that is not excessively thick  like some other shaving creams which in turn makes it even more difficult to shave with. It is not advisable to shave daily, it is important to let your facial skin rest  for at least 2 days before shaving again. Shave with three days intervals.

9. AFTER SHAVE

Apply Aftershave, then admire
yourself in the mirror.

After shaves are mainly therapeutic moisturizing treatment  intended to soothe and protect  the facial skin from shaving irritation and razor burn.  After shaves are supposed to be  alcohol free formula  and the good ones such as Baxter of California After Shave Balm, hydrates and nourishes  the facial skin as it combats the serious dryness caused by shaving. It contains  Glycerin and organic silicones combine with soothing aloe and allantoin  and Natural healing ingredients such as tea tree oil and cooling menthol to renew, calm, and condition the facial skin also to  help  reduce shaving irritation. 

10. LIP BALM

One of the major turn offs on a man’s face is chapped lips. Male facials would not be complete or done at all without including a lip balm for smooth , soft  and good looking lips. The skin on the lips is very different from the facial skin because the skin of the lips lacks oil glands to regulate moisture content as well as melanin to shield the sun. These makes the lips naturally susceptible to dryness, cracking and scaling. Use Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Lip Moisturizer

Leave it to Japanese Men to apply lip balm
on the streets.#Someone'snotgettinglaid.

11. SUNSCREEN

During the Summers, a sunscreen might be one of the best accessories for men’s facial skin. The greatest clarion call for sunscreen would be that of Hugh Jackman  who is presently recovering from yet another skin cancer scare. Saying ”Please don’t be foolish like me, get yourself checked and wear sunscreen”. Fact is our environment is constantly polluted way more than it was decades ago and  so the need to protect the facial skin from toxic gases and pollutants has become much more necessary than ever. Jack Black Sun Guard Sunscreen is the most recommended and Bald Guyz Sunscreen is also very good for bald guys.

Now he applies sunscreen indoors.

 12.  FACE TONER

Black heads, dirt and other skin impurities can all be gone with the use of a good toner, primarily on the face.  Toners with salicylic acids like Neutrogena Rapid clear are the most recommended.

In order of priority, here are the male facial treatments, again.

1. Facial wash

2. Moisturizer

3. Sunscreen

4. Lip balm

5. Clay Mask

6. Facial Scrub

7. Pills

8. Facial Toner

9. Shaving Cream

Get that perfect look you always wanted,
you might also need a little
photoshop with all the
the facial treatments 

10. Aftershave

11. Eye cream

12. Male Facial Hair removal

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Sex Positions to help get pregnant

Positions to get pregnant

When trying to conceive,  a lot of issues and myths come into play about preferable sexual positions to get pregnant. While most of them are not scientifically proven, some experts and pregnant women swear by certain sexual positions to quickly get a bun in the oven faster than others. Sex is the most important activity when you are trying to get pregnant. However, when you have sex in relation to the woman’s menstruation day is also very important. How you have sex is the least important of those three. How you have sex might not be as important as whom you have sex with (Some guys  keep shooting blanks ) but it’s more important than where you have sex in order to get pregnant.  Where you have sex is totally irrelevant for now until someone comes up with another myth and gets an interview on daytime television. It however sucks for a child to discover he was conceived at the backseat of an old mustang.  

                         HOW TO HAVE SEX |     GET PREGNANT

What are the best sex positions to get pregnant?1. Missionary

There is a reason this position is called missionary position. A missionary is someone sent to a foreign country to do mostly religious work which is expected to yield fruits. Missionary position is where the male is on top and the female is on her back receiving the good work of the male which is expected to yield fruits. Missionary is the oldest sexual position and is also widely regarded as the most decent. Back in the olden days, missionary was the commonest sex position and to some the only sexual position and the world population has steadily increased  since then- Thanks to good old missionary. The key here is to ensure deep penetration , a pillow might come in handy somewhere under the woman to ensure that they work with gravity ( which is totally a myth that simply has a placebo effect.) A Deep penetration would reduce the distance the swimmers have to travel before they find a good egg.

2. Doggy style

Just like the name implies, this is the only style most animals especially dogs use and they get pregnant and litter the world with much more animals. The doggy style ensures deep penetration good for conception and has been getting women and girls pregnant since it was founded. The only problem here is , most times you might not remember who the father is. 

3. Glowing Triangle

Glowing triangle is a modification of missionary position in which the ladies legs are bent to ensure deeper penetration and to work with gravity alongside maximum clitoris stimulation to ensure the lady gets knocked up in no time.

4. Magic Mountain

Magic Mountain is a modification of the doggy style. The mountain here, being a bunch of pillows for the lady to rest her chest on while her rear end is left at the mercies of a baby maker. Deep penetration is guaranteed. Magic mountain is a good sex position to get pregnant.

   Best Sex Positions for Pregnancy

 Certain points are also  very crucial when it comes to sex positions to get pregnant. 

What are these crucial points for sex to get pregnant?

1. Being Stress Free

2. Eating foods that help you get pregnant

3. Orgasm:  Orgasms opens up and dilates the  cervix, lubricates the  vagina and makes the uterus and vagina contract. All these factors put together are the perfect recipe for baby making. And when the pregnancy finally comes here are positions to ensure you still have great fun.

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Kenya Polygamy Law, WTF?

Polygamy in Kenya,  WTF?

Yet another messed  up Law emanating from Africa and this time, it is not the Anti-gay Bill, or some bill from Nigeria proposing to send public smokers to 6 months in Jail.  This time it is from Kenya and is a polygamous law. This is practically taking the sister wives show from the television into the homes of people. Kenya is where our dearly beloved Lupita Nyong’o is from and is where the large African safari is. It is also the home country of Barack Obama. The country’s president Uhuru Kenyatta has signed into law a controversial marriage bill legalizing polygamy. This means that a married man would be allowed to take more than one wife without consulting existing spouse. There is however no specified limit to the number of wives to be taken by a man. In islam, men are allowed to take four wives.

The female MPS in the parliament had walked out in disgust after their male counterparts had voted through the amendments which was rather less than smart, as we would have expected that the female MPS would immediately start working on creating a polyandry bill. 

                                     UGANDA BE KIDDING ME

The law also says a woman is entitled to equal share of what the couple acquired during the marriage which would be given to her upon divorce. This would however lead to confusion when 4 wives have to share what a man has when he dies or when the four wives get tired of his male genital odor.

The Christian leaders, who are always late to the party, opposed the law claiming it would affect the family and the financial position of the other spouses while undermining the Christian principles and then they went back into their churches and did nothing about it. “The tone of that bill, if it becomes law, would be demeaning to women since it does not respect the principle of equality of spouses in the institution of marriage,” Archbishop Timothy Ndambuki, from the National Council of Churches of Kenya had said before it was signed into law.

This is however still better than Nigeria’s child marriage law, since girls have to be at least 18 to get married, so there is still no room for pedophiles. 

The law abolished traditional marriages, and enforces the payment of bride price as well as  not recognizing cohabiting which in Kenya is known as  “come-we –stay”. 

Now the real implications of this law 

1. This is the greatest misogynist law, since the law the prohibited women from voting. This means a man can easily cheat with any woman he deems fit while still married. It would be practically impossible for a man to just marry a woman ,so that they can be intimate. For a man to marry a woman there has to be the wooing and dating period. So while he stays married, a man can go out of his matrimonial home at any time to prepare to take a second wife. It happens all the time but this time, he would have the backing of the law.

LETTER FROM A MISTRESS

2. The Kenyan’s president has just signed into the law, the fact that his daughter would one day be second fiddle to another man.

3. Raising a child in a polygamous African Family is one of the worst things that can happen to a child after rape , accident  and sicknesses, all of which have a higher probability of occurring in a polygamous family.

4. Someday, if Lupita marries a Kenyan man in Kenya, she’s going to be a second wife.

Just look ar her, in all her second wife glory.

5. If Barack and Michelle had married in Kenya, America could have to deal with two first ladies. (Not sure how that would work)

Read  The Witness Wore Red: The 19th Wife Who Brought Polygamous Cult Leaders to Justice

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MALE FACIAL GROOMING

Male Facial Grooming

Looking at a picture of a much older relative (uncle for short) really justified the need for male facial grooming. He had received an  all fresh farm goat milk soap as a Christmas present among other things from his daughter. His face was looking smoother and evenly toned than it normally would, devoid of the sunburn and dark skin patches that had long plagued his face.

Men grooming is an age long practice and male beauty is actually a thing, from as far back as Ancient Greece. Men were expected to put their best face forward, be well groomed and kempt. In Ancient Greece the woman’s body was not liked , it had to be covered, whereas the male  body was considered neat and clean and was put on coins, made as statures and even idolized. In this modern time, the secret to good male facial grooming is “the secret”.

 Men don’t have to fix male facial dates or read cosmopolitan and bitch about their menstrual cycles not being in sync, while their legs are dipped in essential oils water , while still  watching Real house wives that had been DVRed for customers in  the salon.

 Men can simply go online, read shitty blogs like this one and get a DIY Kit and put their best face forward, except of  course, these men are celebrities, then they can simply have their companies handle the  deep frying of their  jerry curls (think  Jermane Jacksun) or they are Queers (Queers always get the pass for everything) or they are queer celebrities.(Hi, Adam Lambert).

How to go about Male Facial Grooming - The 12 Steps of Male Facial Grooming.

Male Facial grooming can be broken down into 12 male facial items, just like the 12 steps of AA.

1. FACE WASH.

Washing your face with typical toilet soaps is like taking paracetamol for every ache and pain, there are products that are specifically made for specific issues and all in one soaps are usually not worth their weight. Good Face wash would moisturize as it cleanses and would not strip the face off natural oils. Cetaphil is the most recommended Face wash, even Pharell Williams the ageless music producer swears by it. He gets happy like a room without a roof with Cetaphil (Endorsement deal booting….). Wash not more than twice a day, morning and night.

Just Look at Him with the CetaPhil Shine.

2. FACIAL SCRUB

Using a Facial Scrub is recommended once or twice a week, preferably weekends, where you can spend a little more time in the bathroom. Channel the masturbation time to facial scrubbing and genital intimate wash. Kyoku for Men Exfoliating Facial Scrub, Alba Botanica Sea Algae Enzyme Scrub and Nivea for Men Energy Face Scrub are the most recommended facial scrub for men. The main job of a facial scrub is exfoliation. Exfoliation is the removal of dead skin cells, blackheads which would in turn free ingrown hairs, prevent blemishes, and remove excess oils. Although these facial scrubs are very effective, exfoliation can also be done with some natural products like Honey and Sugar.

This is why the West has  Higher Water Consumption.

3. MOISTURIZER

The skin is in a constant state of Moisture loss from activities like heat exposure, washing and scrubbing the face. A moisturizer is very important to restore the skin’s moisture content. The positive effects of moisturizing are usually in the long run, when aging starts. Moisturizing would slow down skin aging, which is one of the benefits of male facial grooming. Jack Black Double-Duty Face Moisturizer is about the best moisturizer in the market, Neutrogena Men is also high up in the ranks

That's Kinda too much for just one spot.

4. PILLS

Vitamin E drops are for not only male facial grooming but for improved  overall skin health as it helps fight the effects of sun damage and prevent wrinkles. Vitamin A and C  are also very important. Vitamin A for acne and dry skin prevention and Vitamin C for  improved skin elasticity and strength. The Daily recommended dose for Vitamin A is 900 μg for Men (700 μg for women) while for Vitamin E is 400UI or 15mg and  vitamin  C is 90mg per day. Taking supplements continuously is not advisable, depending on the quality of the supplements, some supplements can lead to toxin build up. Take a break sometimes and get your vitamins naturally. Vitamin A occurs naturally in cereal and milk, Vitamin C in fruits, Vitamin E in Olive Oils and Papaya. Before adding supplements to your daily routine always check with your doctor. You might want to leave out the male facial grooming part.

The more colourful, your supplement rack is , the better.

                                                MALE GENITAL ODOR ELIMINATION

5. EYE CREAM

You might not want to put cucumbers over your eyes while sleeping but you can simply use an eye cream to reduce fine lines, dark circles and wrinkles or what is otherwise known as raccoon eyes which results from excessive drinking and staying up at night. You can simply save the money to be spent on an effective eye cream like Yalmeh super youth eye cream and instead get enough sleep and less alcohol or buy the eye cream and party anyway #YOLO. Dark patches under the eyes can also be as a result of stress,aging and vitamin K deficiency. The dark patches are actually blood vessels beneath the skin due to thinning of the skin layers. The best bet for raccoon eyes would be to double up on vegetables like broccoli, cabbage, cucumber,dark leafy greens and pretty much anything green and tasteless.

Turn down for what? ,Who cares about  Raccoon eyes, Eye cream to the rescue.

6. MALE FACIAL HAIR REMOVAL

A very important step in male facial grooming is male facial hair removal. Male Beauty is largely dependent on beautiful skin with the shape of the head accentuated with facial hair. Having facial hair busting out of every orifice of your face would make you look like a fugitive except of course it is for religious reasons (then you get a pass from your religious community). Brow shaping, beard shaving and styling and nose hair pulling is vital for male facial grooming. You can go to a salon to have your eyebrows pulled out, shaped (you lose masculine points if you  squeal or become teary eyed) or buy yourself a facial hair trimming kit and just do it.

The only way your brows are gonna look
like this

is by doing this.

“Remember you might not be able to fight World Hunger except you have $30 Billion per Year, or end the war in Syria or get the housewives  and kardashians off the air, but you can make the world a better place by being an eye candy and make the day of those who site you.”

                                                                                    Narcissism 101

NEXT  6  STEPS

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Lose weight fast

Surefire way to burn fat and lose Weight.

Chances are you are trying to lose weight or stay fit and you have started starving yourself or just thinking about it, either way, here are some tips that  would help you burn fat and lose weight.

The very first thing you need to do is calculate your body mass index , to see if you are underweight or overweight. Use the formula

BMI = ( Weight in Pounds / ( Height in inches x Height in inches ) ) x 703

Or

BMI = ( Weight in Kilograms / ( Height in Meters x Height in Meters ) )

Based on your answers and this chart, you should easily find where you belong.

This could be you , in a few years time

Adults BMI:	Women	Men
underweight	< 19.1	< 20.7
in normal range	19.1 - 25.8	20.7 - 26.4
marginally overweight	25.8 - 27.3	26.4 - 27.8
overweight	27.3 - 32.3	27.8 - 31.1
very overweight or obese	> 32.3	> 31.1

This chart and the BMI methods have been recently criticized as inaccurate, but until we find a better replacement,  we are still sticking to this.

Depending on your exercise, you might actually gain weight if you are trying to build muscles, but you would feel your pants become freer as well as your shirts, if you are really burning fat. Now here are some things you need to do based on personal experiences to burn fat and lose weight. 

1. Cut down on calorie intake. Consume less calories than your body burns. Calculate your daily calorie expenditure here and go 300 calories below it, leaving a cheat day where you maintain the calorie amount. Have four meals per day, spaced between four hours.  To achieve your calorie goals, you would need to replace salad dressings, chicken skins and egg yolks with almonds, flank, wild salmon and avocados.(You probably already know this)

2. Reduce the amount of carbs you eat, in order to reduce insulin which is a by product of carbs and is a fat storage hormone. This can be achieved by replacing every thing white from your meal, white rice, white flour, white bread, white potatoes with brown rice, wheat flour etc. Eat protein more, the body burns more calories processing protein than it does , processing carbs and fats.

3. Have a balanced diet all the time, instead of gulping down some sugary drink or soup. Mix your protein, with vegetables and carbs and eat them. Take young coconut water, when you can before a meal, it has very good skin glowing effects and also helps to curb your appetite and sugar cravings. Take proteins when you are about to sleep instead of foods high in carbohydrates. Eat your last meal 4 hours before bed. This is to ensure that the growth Hormone (GH), which the body produces during the first hour of sleep that helps burn fat is not inhibited by carbs.
                           
30 DAY GARLIC CHALLENGE

4. Go to bed on an empty stomach and a capsule of Nitric oxide. It would produce a surge in GH levels and would increase the pump in your excercises. This should be taken before bed on an empty stomach , otherwise you would have just wasted $30.

5. All white carbs should be eaten only after an intensive workout, most trainers recommend eating 6 meals per day, but most people eventually end up over shooting their calorie limits with 6 meals, feeling sleepy and bloated all the time  and eventually gaining weight and losing no fat.

FOODS THAT HELP YOU LOSE WEIGHT

6. Do your workouts on empty stomachs, it opens up your reserves and  burns your fat storage. Also take time once in two weeks to empty your glycogen stores by fruit fasting with a particular fruit like apple or mango, eliminating all carbs from your food for the whole day.

SETTING UP A HOME GYM WITH LESS THAN $1000

7. Drink protein shakes, do cardios in the morning, wear fitted clothes , walk barefoot in the grass sometimes and if you still don’t become trim and fit, then call weight watchers. 

Use this guy as your motivation. Just keep your eyes on the breast flap, and tell yourself, someday, that flap could be mine.

Or just continue to down those super greasy
burgers #YOLO #FuckWeightLoss#TheBiggerThe Better.

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Quit Smoking Apps

APPS THAT CAN HELP QUIT SMOKING.

Okay, after working with some friends all day and night and passively smoking through 5 packs of cigarettes, it’s time to find apps that can help people quit smoking. There is an app for everything now, except of course, an app that downloads food (until that happens, I’m not impressed). So here are the most recommended mobile applications that would go a long way in helping anyone interested in curbing the irritating habit of smoking. 

These apps however, would not take the cigarettes from you and lock them up in the trash can, or shame you with a picture of your “dilapidating” lungs, chapped lips , fucked up teeth and dry scaly skin, it wouldn’t show you a picture of how you look older than your age and how you would look in the years to come. They don’t even come close to showing you how you would want to cough out your lungs in the advert of a smoking induced lung cancer or give you a playback of your wheeze blaring in your beats , so they all need to be updated.

However, here are the apps some previous chain smokers swear by.

1.       Quit It

Straight to the point name. The quit it app is a free app with very good ratings. Instead of public shaming, like posting a  Facebook message  page to all your friends and members of your addiction class like  “That mother fucker is out in the dark corner of the street, fumbling with a lighter again and smoking his lungs out, this is the 2nd time in 2 days, the cigarette junkie would fall off the wagon”. It is instead based on motivation. It takes the amount of cigarette you smoke per day, the amount per pack and time of quitting and keeps furnishing you information on how much you’ve saved by not smoking, the amount of tar buildup your lungs has avoided and how much of a better person you have become with each health goal challenge, you’ve overcome. It is very straight forward, with few ads here and there , no annoying pop ups and other vices that would make you want to smoke.

2.       Livestrong

This app is going to be your quit coach, at least that is what it purports to be. It is a physician approved app and one of the most recommended. Some chain smokers however warn that the interface can make you smoke more.” I'd have 3 smokes already just setting the stupid thing up” It’s slogan is dare to quit smoking and it make use of social media, to brag about you coming out of the hole you got yourself in, in the first place. It tracks your cravings too. Here  is a review by someone of the smoking app by someone who doesn't smoke.

                                    WAYS TO QUIT YOUR JOB

3.       Quitter

Here is another app that helps you quit smoking called quitter. Like the name, it helps you quit but not only smoking, it helps you quit everything you want to quit, including life.

4.       Quit it with Andrew Johnson

This app has a soothing relaxing music to help fight cravings and the voice of Andrew Johnson, (think male siri’s voice if he smoked three packs of cigarettes then spoke) asides all the other similarities to all quit smoking apps.

There is also kick smoking app for window phone users and a ton of others.

Smoking is actually on the decline in developed countries except the ones in Europe  and on the rise in developing countries with no significant change in under developed countries, changing location can also help you quit smoking or otherwise increase your intake. Quitting smoking is not an easy task, you would need friends and community to help you. Join becomeanex.org or the stop smoking group on REDDIT.  One of the best ways of quitting a habit is finding another habit that would give you nearly as much pleasure as the old one. Good luck finding that .

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Jerks with Camera

Jerks on Camera

There is this Prank show on MTV, called Jerks with Camera, Hosted by a guy called Tone Bell (sounds like the name of a struggling underrated R&B Artist ) and featuring some very theatrical set of people. The show has full representation  of almost all the races in America with a black girl , two black dudes ,a Indian, a Latino , a Chinese girl , two white guys and a white chic. The premise is not very original or new, but the guys seem to get stuff by some very unsuspecting strollers in the streets of LA.

This guys come up with funny tricks to unsuspecting people (at least that’s the way it seems) and most times it’s usually very funny. The show is already 10 episodes in and that’s all this season has , 10 episodes

From disturbing people with leaf blowers, to getting into people’s private space, to accusing people of being baby daddies, to very offensive news reporting, the show seems to have it all.

From the show you can immediately tell the kind of people who walk the streets of LA, the guys are mostly uptight, obnoxious and rude with an occasional sweet angel in the mix. (Wow, ladies have a hard time in LA), and most of the  nice guys are usually either very young (with the exception of some black stoners in one of the episodes) or already taken ( with a chic in tow) or black (I didn't see that coming).

The girls are more cooperative and  having a sense of humor and homely of course with some exceptions in between.

From  the show you can also tell , that people naturally tend to give much more audience to a good looking person. All the jerks are good looking with Dante and Amir taking the lead with looks and Danielle having the body of a Victoria secret model, except the height though.  We often tend to automatically listen to good looking people, no wonder Hollywood has so many unrealistic standard for actresses and actors.

The show however had poor editing and sometimes seem chopped  with the pranksters reactions to events seeming mostly unrelated to the event in question. The dialogue also seems a bit off and forced like they are reading from a cue board and they now have to figure out how to make the lines funny. The killer line though is “when a white guy who normally dates white chicks suddenly dates a black chick, he is said to be having a #BlackOut ”

Justin Hires seems like the next  and maybe funnier Kevin Hart. He’s quite funny, acts well and is all up in his blackness. The trio, Dante, grant and Geoff usually come up with the best set of pranks overall  and Kara and Susanne

always seem to give them a very fierce run for their money. They all have impressive comedic resumes and might move on to shooting sitcoms or having a greater stand up career.

This show brought in some good laughs every Thursday night as most of the so called comedic sitcoms and late night shows are just like watching paint dry, a show fest for celebrity worship.

Watch the first Episode Here 

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Foods that prevent being Horny

Foods that prevent being horny

Being horny is natural but there are times when being sexually aroused might be totally unnecessary due to culture and environmental factors. The horny feeling is mainly due to blood flow to the genitals and other erotic regions of the body such as the nipples. Sex can only be initiated comfortably if both partaking parties are horny to a certain degree  except when one of the parties is being raped.  There are certain foods that might prevent you from being horny or in other words kill your sex  drive. This obviously can be advantageous  if you are beginning to have boners more often than usual. While it would be advisable to lay off foods that make you horny if you are on some kind of sex cleanse (whatever that is), you might also want to indulge in foods that would kill your sex drive (especially if you intend to be a monk or a catholic priest). 

What are the foods that would kill a boner?

1. Canned Foods.

Anything that comes in a can is a boner killer, indulge in a lifestyle of canned foods and watch your sex drive disappear. The high levels of sodium and low potassium and a host of substandard  additives and preservatives for commercial purposes is responsible for this. The daily intake of sodium should be limited to 2000mg but most canned foods are usually upward of that when you consider the quantities taken in one meal.

                      FOODS THAT HELP YOU GET PREGNANT

2. Soy and Cheese

One of the downsides of being a vegetarian is that soy and cheese becomes your major source of protein and your sex drive diminishes .  Cheese  gives the body xenoestrogen which results from the processing of cow milk with antibiotics and other agents while soy feeds the body with phytoestrogen which affects the hormonal balance in both men and women.

3. Carbonated drinks/Soda

This makes most sexy soda commercials ironic, because the product itself would  kill your sex drive. Apart from diabetes, weight problems and dehydration, you would also lose your sex drive.

I squirt Coke from my tits

4. Artificial Sweeteners

Most artificial sweeteners contain aspartame which counters Serotonin levels in the body. Serotonin is often called the happy hormone which is responsible for  normal sexual behavior which includes the feeling of horniness. Once serotonin levels are down, everything goes down hill into the depth of anxiety , depression, demotivation, insomnia and of course low sex drive.

FOODS THAT WHITEN YOUR TEETH

5. Alcohol and Coffee 

Alcohol in moderation can make you horny that is half a gram of alcohol per 2.2 pounds of body weight which transcends to  roughly about a can of beer, Anything above that would immediately start doing the opposite reducing testosterone production and preventing you from being horny. Coffee when taken in excess (more than a cup per day) would most likely affect the adrenal gland and leading to sexual imbalance and loss of sex drive.

6. Crisps , Chips and oils

Highly oxidized vegetable oils such as canola oil as well as crisps and chips leave a lot of  free radicals in the body which would interface with sexual hormone and kill your sex drive. 

Other foods that can prevent you from being  horny include licorice, granola, cornflakes, anything containing potassium nitrate and Monosodium glutamate.

Okay, this has nothing to do with anti horny foods, this  man is gay.

          FOODS THAT BRING GOOD LUCK

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UGANDA BE KIDDING ME

UGANDA BE KIDDING ME

Okay, Uganda  has finally passed an anti gay law which is about the only thing that has kept Uganda in the news. Uganda had to do this immediately after Nigeria passed theirs, giving little time to see what would happen as regarding aids from the west being threatened.

Uganda  receives an  annual aid of $420 million which is now being threatened to be withdrawn. The president before signing the bill had found it difficult to convince the religious bodies to hold up on the  issue. This whole gay craze in central Africa is actually ludicrous because gays are a very distant minority who have already been driven to the ground by cultural and religious communities, but it is suddenly taking center stage amongst all the  important issues  and problems that pledge most predominantly black African countries. Problems like infrastructure, education, electric power and pollution.

 Uganda be kidding me because Uganda has 99 problems and gays are not one of them. Once caught or suspected in Uganda, you would most likely be attacked and   if eventually tried, sent to prison for 14 years and life imprisonment for repeat offenders. It is however not clear, if these homosexuals would be placed in same sex prisons or placed in opposite sex prisons, because the joke would be on Uganda, if two male homos are arrested and sent to jail in the same prison or to men who have been deprived conjugal visits for a very long time. #Orgies be going down in Uganda prisons.

The gay romance of African Leaders is however mostly linked to a plot to play on the religious sentiments of the people while diverting them from the immerse corruption and  wastefulness going on in the corridors of power in African countries. These laws would also lead to jungle justice which is also a major problem that no one seems to address in most African countries .

Just a day after the law was signed, 200 names were printed in a magazine called red pepper claiming all these people are gay. It is really ludicrous because it is quite  difficult to predict someone's  sexuality except you have been in bed with them. So the source of those names should also be questioned because it should take a gay to know one. But as we all know, take education away from people and give them religion and  throw a little bit of poverty in the mix and you would have taken all their power. 

You can say that the press is also trying to make some money out of the people  during this time by issuing out tabloid like stories , to boost sales.

Well, the effect of the draconian law as described by the west is already having effect on Uganda. A recent $90 million loan from the world bank has just been stalled. The world bank has said, the loans would be blocked. The loans were originally meant for the healthcare system. Norway and Denmark has also frozen their aids to Uganda due to the bill which also condemn blow jobs. The law has also affected Uganda currency as it dipped 2.9% within the first week.  While gays in Nigeria are not smiling, citizens in Uganda are yet to comprehend what just hit them, although some leaders still insist that the west can keep their aids. Uganda be kidding me.

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