Male Facial Grooming
Looking at a picture of a much older relative (uncle for short) really justified the need for male facial grooming. He had received an all fresh farm goat milk soap as a Christmas present among other things from his daughter. His face was looking smoother and evenly toned than it normally would, devoid of the sunburn and dark skin patches that had long plagued his face.
Men grooming is an age long practice and male beauty is actually a thing, from as far back as Ancient Greece. Men were expected to put their best face forward, be well groomed and kempt. In Ancient Greece the woman’s body was not liked , it had to be covered, whereas the male body was considered neat and clean and was put on coins, made as statures and even idolized. In this modern time, the secret to good male facial grooming is “the secret”.
Men don’t have to fix male facial dates or read cosmopolitan and bitch about their menstrual cycles not being in sync, while their legs are dipped in essential oils water , while still watching Real house wives that had been DVRed for customers in the salon.
Men can simply go online, read shitty blogs like this one and get a DIY Kit and put their best face forward, except of course, these men are celebrities, then they can simply have their companies handle the deep frying of their jerry curls (think Jermane Jacksun) or they are Queers (Queers always get the pass for everything) or they are queer celebrities.(Hi, Adam Lambert).
How to go about Male Facial Grooming - The 12 Steps of Male Facial Grooming.
Male Facial grooming can be broken down into 12 male facial items, just like the 12 steps of AA.
1. FACE WASH.
Washing your face with typical toilet soaps is like taking paracetamol for every ache and pain, there are products that are specifically made for specific issues and all in one soaps are usually not worth their weight. Good Face wash would moisturize as it cleanses and would not strip the face off natural oils. Cetaphil is the most recommended Face wash, even Pharell Williams the ageless music producer swears by it. He gets happy like a room without a roof with Cetaphil (Endorsement deal booting….). Wash not more than twice a day, morning and night.
 |
| Just Look at Him with the CetaPhil Shine. |
2. FACIAL SCRUB
Using a Facial Scrub is recommended once or twice a week, preferably weekends, where you can spend a little more time in the bathroom. Channel the masturbation time to facial scrubbing and genital intimate wash. Kyoku for Men Exfoliating Facial Scrub, Alba Botanica Sea Algae Enzyme Scrub and Nivea for Men Energy Face Scrub are the most recommended facial scrub for men. The main job of a facial scrub is exfoliation. Exfoliation is the removal of dead skin cells, blackheads which would in turn free ingrown hairs, prevent blemishes, and remove excess oils. Although these facial scrubs are very effective, exfoliation can also be done with some natural products like Honey and Sugar.
 |
| This is why the West has Higher Water Consumption. |
3. MOISTURIZER
The skin is in a constant state of Moisture loss from activities like heat exposure, washing and scrubbing the face. A moisturizer is very important to restore the skin’s moisture content. The positive effects of moisturizing are usually in the long run, when aging starts. Moisturizing would slow down skin aging, which is one of the benefits of male facial grooming. Jack Black Double-Duty Face Moisturizer is about the best moisturizer in the market, Neutrogena Men is also high up in the ranks
 |
| That's Kinda too much for just one spot. |
4. PILLS
Vitamin E drops are for not only male facial grooming but for improved overall skin health as it helps fight the effects of sun damage and prevent wrinkles. Vitamin A and C are also very important. Vitamin A for acne and dry skin prevention and Vitamin C for improved skin elasticity and strength. The Daily recommended dose for Vitamin A is 900 μg for Men (700 μg for women) while for Vitamin E is 400UI or 15mg and vitamin C is 90mg per day. Taking supplements continuously is not advisable, depending on the quality of the supplements, some supplements can lead to toxin build up. Take a break sometimes and get your vitamins naturally. Vitamin A occurs naturally in cereal and milk, Vitamin C in fruits, Vitamin E in Olive Oils and Papaya. Before adding supplements to your daily routine always check with your doctor. You might want to leave out the male facial grooming part.
 |
| The more colourful, your supplement rack is , the better. |
MALE GENITAL ODOR ELIMINATION
5. EYE CREAM
You might not want to put cucumbers over your eyes while sleeping but you can simply use an eye cream to reduce fine lines, dark circles and wrinkles or what is otherwise known as raccoon eyes which results from excessive drinking and staying up at night. You can simply save the money to be spent on an effective eye cream like Yalmeh super youth eye cream and instead get enough sleep and less alcohol or buy the eye cream and party anyway #YOLO. Dark patches under the eyes can also be as a result of stress,aging and vitamin K deficiency. The dark patches are actually blood vessels beneath the skin due to thinning of the skin layers. The best bet for raccoon eyes would be to double up on vegetables like broccoli, cabbage, cucumber,dark leafy greens and pretty much anything green and tasteless.
 |
| Turn down for what? ,Who cares about Raccoon eyes, Eye cream to the rescue. |
6. MALE FACIAL HAIR REMOVAL
A very important step in male facial grooming is male facial hair removal. Male Beauty is largely dependent on beautiful skin with the shape of the head accentuated with facial hair. Having facial hair busting out of every orifice of your face would make you look like a fugitive except of course it is for religious reasons (then you get a pass from your religious community). Brow shaping, beard shaving and styling and nose hair pulling is vital for male facial grooming. You can go to a salon to have your eyebrows pulled out, shaped (you lose masculine points if you squeal or become teary eyed) or buy yourself a facial hair trimming kit and just do it.
 |
| The only way your brows are gonna look like this |
 |
| is by doing this. |
“Remember you might not be able to fight World Hunger except you have $30 Billion per Year, or end the war in Syria or get the housewives and kardashians off the air, but you can make the world a better place by being an eye candy and make the day of those who site you.”
Narcissism 101
