AMERICAN IDOL- A BURNT BRIDGE

AMERICAN IDOL- A BURNT BRIDGE

There are several singing competitions now . American Idol, America’s got Talent, The Voice, The sing offs, Duets and a host of others across the world. This  shows seem to have something in common, Judges and contestants . Judges who are overpaid to sit and tell the people what everyone already knows and contestants who are forced to push their natural talents in a shoe hole for publicity and popularity. 

Why would anyone go on American Idol?

If you win, you would get a 1 Million dollar recording contract, which means, a million dollars would be spent to make an album for you. This has recently been slashed down to $350,000 or even $250,000 for the winner and a paltry$175,000 for the second place. The remaining top 10 or 12 may have the opportunity to make singles with their advance fees amounting to about $24,000 for up to 4 singles. Not all contestants get a red cent but if you make it to the top 10 or 12 in some cases, you then register with the performance union AFTRA from which you then get performance fees for the show upwards of  $921 per hour. The contracts then go on to fix their pays for albums one to six depending on it’s success and if they are greenlighted. The top 10 contestants also  make money from the whole show by going on the top 10 tour in which they make a minimum of $1000 per show. This sounds good to the guy living in his trunk and getting money from his piggy bank but when you consider that Jennifer Lopez is going to leave Idol without breaking a sweat with $17.5 million, an amount, the winner would not be worth in 5 years, it leaves a very bad taste in your mouth.

American Idol like most other singing competitions across the world, benefits only two sets of people, the producers and the judges. The audience might also get some form of entertainment but the thousands and thousands of people sleeping outside in the cold waiting for their fifteen minutes of fame are just building their tent in the wind. Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Daughtry, Kellie Pickler are all alumni that most intending contestants take as role models but for you to get to these heights with American Idol, you would first have to have a massive hit debut album with singles running up and down the charts. Chances are that with $350,000 and no songwriting or production abilities, you wouldn’t be able to come up with that massive album.

Why you shouldn’t go for  American Idol or a singing competition

1. If you sound good and can make good music , you probably don’t need some overpriced Judges to tell you so, on National Television, you need to get up and do something about it instead like facing a recording studio. Come back to the Competition when all else has failed or when you are the same age with Susan boyle

2. There are a lot of contestants who have had to go back to normal jobs after being on the show and it sucks. Just ask everyone among the  7-24 on each season. These shows put you in the spotlight with strobes , backup singers, live instrument players and then leave you out when the show is over, moving onto the next set  of contestants next year. The show doesn't care about the contestants ,they are just exploiting the love we have for the underdogs and cashing in on it and just to  prove that point, everyone is talking about who takes the judges seats to save the show , not what all the former winners and contestants are up to  or how to get the best crop of musicians out there and help them build a career. 

3. Everything about the show is showbiz and if you look closely, most of the artists on billboard today would not have made it pass the audition room of American Idol. And if they did, they wouldn’t make it pass the  selection. The selection process is what the Voice tried to capitalize on and make a show off,where you listen to people’s voice and not look at their appearance or how camera friendly they are. Most of the artists making waves now , even if they get pass the audition would not make it pass the Top 40 selection, think Lorde, Adele etc.

4. Music is no longer really about being able to hit high deafening notes and the earlier you get on that train the better, Music is now about how highly produced your tracks are, just think Rihanna winning urban contemporary album over fantasia, or Chris Brown winning the same award over R.kelly and then think Daft Punk winning album of the year. If you want a music career, start learning how to work with garage band  or Steinberg  or J4T Multitrack and how to make lots and lots of new unconventional sounds, even the grammys is towing that road, think Macklemore and ryan lewis who have never performed with live instruments but just get those engineered sounds and just hold  instruments in their performances. In the present day and time, you can become an independent artist and go far.

5. The terrible contracts these contestants have to sign, virtually giving all their rights and careers away to the mercies of shrewd businessman who may not even have their time but still keep them under locks and chains is alarming. If your talent is really worth it’s salt then maybe you should find yourself a better breeding ground.

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Ways to get rid of Man Boobs

Ways to get rid of man boobs.

Except you are Simon Cowell, chances are that you have man boobs and you want to get them out. Man boobs take a lot away from the Alpha Male, the  King size Marlboro Man  who the ladies love( he’s dead by the way due to excessive smoking, karma’s a bitch). Breasts or Boobs in the first place has everything to do with feminism. All foetus are usually female within the first eight weeks of the pregnancy period, until the Y chromosomes comes to play. Having breasts for men is the ultimate sign for that, now having those boobs grow and become subtle and protrude out of a fitted  designer shirt is a sign that nature is playing a big joke on you, everyone is laughing and pulling away and you shouldn't  take it lying down, you've got to get rid of man boobs. The multiple names that exist for this piece of nature’s joke make it even funnier. You hear, man boobs, male breasts, man breast, moobs, man tits, moobies, chesticles, man titties or in rear cases the real biological names pseudogynecomastia or gynecomastia.

RELATED: MAKE YOUR BOOBS BIGGER

Why do you have man boobs?

There are several reasons why man boobs appear, some of which are

1. Hormonal Imbalance

2. Excessive Fat

3. Symptoms of  Health Problems

4. Drug use.

Hormonal Imbalance occurs during Puberty or as a result of taking body building stimulants (Androgen) or some kind of exposure to estrogen. Most breast growth during puberty soon disappear except there is a continuous exposure to androgen and estrogen. Such estrogen exposure might be from foods containing phytoestrogens and xenoestrogens which include soy and dairy products, some herbs like thyme and licorice including those used in shampoos like tea tree oil  and some fruits like apples. Soy Products especially, are the culprit here. Klinefelter's syndrome , a benign condition where the human male has an extra X chromosome falls under this man boobs causes. The man in this case has an (XXY) as against (XY) and that is simply being 34% less of a man and more of a woman. 

Obesity, among all other side effects that it comes with comes with man boobs. When you are fat everything with the exception (and detriment) of your penis is fat including your boobs. The health implications of being obese are very obvious, everything eventually leading to death and creating a whole lot of extra work for the funeral home and extra charges for your loved ones due to super sized coffins and extra grave space. Obesity is a killer, it will rob you of your fun, your comfort and your life. Man boobs due to fat is known as pseudogynecomastia.

Testicular cancer might also be the cause of man boobs or gynecomastia. This is usually accompanied by heaviness in the scrotum, dull ache in the abdomen, lower back pain, tenderness of breasts , discharge and a host of other symptoms. It is important to see a doctor in case, man boobs are accompanied with heaviness or swelling of the nuts sack. It just might be testicular cancer and the earlier it’s discovered, the easier it would be to nip it in the bud. Other health issues such as kidney failure,liver failure etc also have gynecomastia as symptoms.

Drug use is also one of the leading causes of man boobs. Marijuana would get you high and also make your breasts pop and sag although snoop dogg and wiz khalifa seems to have thrown this medical postulate in the dustbin, there are still a few people around who are living testimonies to this. Other s such as heroin, alcohol, ampthetamines, valium, methadone, some antibiotics and even chemotherapy can result in gynecomastia.

A blood test or mammogram is the best way to actually determine the cause of gynecomastia .

Old Age would also result make your boobs sag just take a look at 

 MALE FACIAL GROOMING

How do I get rid of man boobs?

1. Boost Testosterone

Estrogen related causes can be eliminated by  engaging in testosterone boasting activities such as  taking Zinc supplements, losing weight and strength training.

If your Man boobs are like this, maybe you should consider keeping them

2. Exercise for Man boobs

Check out the following exercises to get rid of man boobs.

3. Gynecomastia Surgery

You might also want to go for a gynecosmatia surgery. Man boobs surgery costs between $1000-$50000.

4. Appearance Management

Wearing a gynecomastia garment would help manage the appearance of the man boobs, this is just like using duct tape which some guys do.

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Gays are not Smiling in Nigeria

Gays are not Smiling in Nigeria.

Okay, if you follow the News, you would know by now, that another African Country, the most populous one this time around has issued an anti-gay bill , that purports to outlaw gay marriage, groups and organization with penalties as high as 14 years imprisonment.This bill has been in the works for quite sometime.

Nigeria, a predominantly black country is a very religious country, and as anyone knows , one of the major flaws of organized religion is that it  promotes self-righteousness and bigotry, and Nigeria is supposedly filled to the brim with such. Research has shown that the gay community in Nigeria is very low to non existent in some areas  and most people don’t even know what it is or can they wrap their heads around it. This however doesn’t change the fact that there are gays everywhere in the world.

And like the proverbial three sides to every story, here are the three sides to the Nigerian Gay story.

RELATED POST: CALLING ALL PEDOPHILES TO NIGERIA

HIS SIDE

Christianity and Islam are the most common religion  in Nigeria, with each claiming almost half of the population. Some form of religious affiliation is usually necessary to get ahead in Nigeria and religious leaders ranks among the richest and most powerful figures in the country. These two religious views do not support homosexuality in their core. The Quran, the holy book of Muslims (followers of Islam) reads

” Do ye commit lewdness such as no people in creation (ever) committed before you? For ye practice your lusts on men in preference to women: ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds." Qur'an 7:80-81,

 "What! Of all creatures do ye come unto the males, and leave the wives your Lord created for you? Nay, but ye are forward folk." Qur'an 26:165”. 

Some scholars have even gone further to reference a certain Hadith Literature which they claim are authentic sayings of the Prophet Mohammed, which puts homosexuality in a bad light and claims the death penalty is the most appropriate. 

Two examples are: "When a man mounts another man, the throne of God shakes." 

"Kill the one that is doing it and also kill the one that it is being done to." 

(In reference to the active and passive partners in gay sexual intercourse). This has been the basis of death penalties in Extreme Islamic countries like Iran (over 4000 executed since 1979) and Afghanistan (10 public executions).

The bible, the holy book of the Christians reads Leviticus 18:22 “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.”

 and the penalty is also death in Leviticus 20:13 “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.”. 

A lot of Christian scholars also believed God destroyed Sodom because of Homosexuality because the young men wanted to “bang” the angels God sent down to the Land.(Yeah, they saw the angels and they were like, “ We’ve got to tap that!”), thus beginning the word sodomy used to refer to homosexual activities by conservatives. In Christianity however, a lot of words contained in the old testament, the one of two divisions of the bible, the other being the new testament is not taken to be as binding as the new testament due to the old testament being believed to be written during the dispensation of the law and the new testament, the one with Jesus in it, being believed to be written as in the dispensation of Grace which is aimed at drawing the lost children of God back to the father by issuing grace, forgiveness and mercy and turning a blind eye on sin to which the blood of Jesus is believed to cleanse Christians from, which forms the basis of Christianity. A reference to this is reads.

“blessed is he , whose sins God no longer holds against him” in Romans 4:8.

This marks the basis of homophobia in a country like Nigeria, Uganda and so many other very religious countries in the world.

Read: Homosexuality and the Christian: A Guide for Parents, Pastors, and Friends

HER SIDE

The many beliefs and views of Nigerians can easily be read on the internet(forums like Nairaland), comments on news sites and Social Media. That is the over half of the population  of the country who exhibit some form of homophobia.  They come up with rationales like "it is unnatural". "The bolt was made for the nut and not two bolts and two nuts". "Gays can’t have kids and this would threaten the world population and indeed the human race". "The asshole is a seat of infection who can fathom?"

That's a Banana dipped in Nutella, Any questions?

Homosexuality is not an African Culture and that animals wouldn't even stoop so low just to get a rush of hormone. Others believe, what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah is going to happen if such drastic measures are not taken and that earthquakes, floods and drought are just warning signs of impending doom. Still, others believe it is a western world agenda to reduce the world Population, others say it is occult. Some simply have simplistic views, that gays haven’t sexually explored enough to find the deep treasures of ecstasy buried in the opposite sex and some of those simplistic views also include being smacked on the head(or in some cases with sticks and stones) to create some kind of mental reset for gays. Some also believe that homosexuality is a sign of  the dark demonic world of Satan creeping in on mankind.  In the midst of all these beliefs , gays are not smiling.

Read :What's Wrong with Homosexuality? 

THE TRUTH

Now, even the truth has three sides to it.

HIS SIDE

The gay marriage  bill has  very little to do with gays in Nigeria. Every thing done in most countries of the world usually have some kind of subliminal mission. In this case, it is believed to be a political move to put the present President Goodluck Jonathan back on the favourable sides of the masses who have been greatly disappointed that his administration has fallen short of what they expected it to be. Goodluck was the epitome of goodluck something Nigerians believe in and with the humble backgrounds of the president coming from a then remote part of the country to occupying the supposedly highest seat of power with a  humble charisma and a touching  "shoeless"  childhood story, he was Nigerian’s sweetheart.

 However lots of promises have not been kept and there has been significant cases of daylight corruption, something that has threatened and is still threatening Nigeria . With Political open letters flying here and there and politicians forming and reforming new political parties, the average Nigerian has developed a bad taste to anything government. Here the gay bill comes in, to significantly affect way more than half the population of religious people. There are no courts in Nigeria getting marriage requests from gay people and there were already laws prohibiting unnatural sexual activities .This is no more than a previously proven way by those in power to distract and unify the majority by defining a minority as an object of hate. Germany 1930s.

 Some Conspiracy theorist however  believe  that this is a man shooting himself in the foot because this whole agenda is being orchestrated by his political enemies who gave him the impression that this is the right thing to do knowing fully well, it’s going to affect international relations at a time where countries with homophobic laws are softening them for the sake of international relations and activities such as sporting events and  investments.  These “wolves in sheep clothing” are hoping that by this , his administration would be further affected, eliminating foreign aid and streamlining international relations, making gay expatriates and liberal investors check out and in turn affecting the country and bringing down his administration. Only time would be able to completely tell his side of the story correctly.

HER  SIDE

Jungle justice is prevalent in African Countries, Nigeria included. It is common practice among the poorly educated to take laws into their own hands in most cases with law enformenet officers present. Recently four undergraduates were maimed to death because they were thought to have stolen materials from a neighboring village to their campus. The laws would make jungle justice for gays acceptable and with no clear proof of the sexuality of anyone, it becomes a war of who can shout the loudest and has convincing power. Men living together would start having issues of people raising eyebrows and some hotels have started indicating that police has ordered them not to allow unrelated men sleep in the same hotel room.

THE TRUTH

The gay bill is not going to solve any of Nigeria’s problems of greed, corruption, low employment levels, poor infrastructure and power . A better bill, the petroleum bill would have done that. God didn’t destroy Sodom because of its homosexuality   according to  Ezekiel 16: 48

” 9 Behold, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: pride, overabundance of food, prosperous ease, and idleness were hers and her daughters’; neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.50 And they were haughty and committed abominable offenses before Me; therefore I removed them when I saw it and I saw fit”.

 Apostle paul (a new testament prophet) believes that homosexuality is an evidence of God’s wrath on Mankind in 

Romans 1:26-27 “26 For this reason God gave them over and abandoned them to vile affections and degrading passions. For their women exchanged their natural function for an unnatural and abnormal one,27 And the men also turned from natural relations with women and were set ablaze (burning out, consumed) with lust for one another—men committing shameful acts with men and suffering in their own [d]bodies and personalities the inevitable consequences and penalty of their wrong-doing and going astray, which was [their] fitting retribution.28 And so, since they did not see fit to acknowledge God or approve of Him or consider Him worth the knowing, God gave them over to a base and condemned mind to do things not proper or decent but loathsome,”,

 He also believes and warns Christians that homosexuals won’t make heaven  in

 1 corinthians 6: 9 -10” 9 Do you not know that the unrighteous and the wrongdoers will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived (misled): neither the impure and immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor those who participate in homosexuality,10 Nor cheats (swindlers and thieves), nor greedy graspers, nor drunkards, nor foulmouthed revilers and slanderers, nor extortioners and robbers will inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God.” 

Jesus however, says, he is the way to the father in Heaven.  

Read:Homosexuality, Marriage, and the Church

Homosexuality is as old as man, that the reason it is recorded in all ancient books and from history , homosexuality was widely practiced around the world, African included before the advent of Christianity and other Religions. Homosexual behaviour also exist in animals.

Gays are definitely not smiling ,just ask the guy who was lashed 20strokes and the other 38 arrested in Bauchi for homosexual activity, fact is, no one in Nigeria is right now.

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Male Genital Odor During Winter

Male Genital Odor During Winter.

Winter sucks, the air is cold and dry. It gets dark earlier and if you’re single , it can be hell having no one to snuggle underneath the blanket with, dogs and cats notwithstanding. Winter really sucks, wearing a tonne of fabrics just to prevent your internal organs from freezing and getting to sit on cold toilet seats while inhaling urine steams emanating from the toilet seat is one the worst things anybody has to endure through the cold season. Watching your male genital respond to the cold by becoming the size it was pre-puberty can be very humbling. Worst of all,  the genital smell. Due to the trapping of air and the wearing of a ton of fabrics during winter, the genital area begins to smell when   the clothes come off.

How do you get rid of smelly balls during winter?

FOOD SELECTION: 

    Limit the consumption of foods that naturally cause odor. Foods like garlic, asparagus, broccoli, Brussels sprouts and red meat should be avoided during winter. As these foods naturally make you smell. Avoiding these foods during the cold would go a long way in reducing pungent odor emanating from the body.

MALE GENITAL WASH: 

    Using a Male genital  Wash become imperative at this time, male genital wash are usually limited in stock because the world just assumes that ladies should have to deal with that. But if you ever want to be given brains, you should probably have to do a little work for it.  Scrubbing the genital area with a genital wash should be done when taking a bath. Concentration should be made to areas in between the thighs, the balls and the area in between the butt cheeks.

   RELATED POST: MALE GENITAL ODOR ELIMINATION | MALE FACIAL GROOMING

     

BALLS BREATHING TIME:

    Having a balls breathing time. Balls breathing time is that time when you lock all doors, turn up the heat , take off the tons of fabric and just let everything hang loose. It may just be for a couple minutes but it’s worth it. That time also enables your penis receive some more blood flow and extend out from the winter shrinkage, making you regain your size.

 DUSTING POWDER: 

   Using a dusting powder on the genitals after bathing would serve as a moisture absorbent and skin soother. It would also work well for male genital odor elimination. 

   WASHING UP AFTER SEX OR MASTURBATION: If you get laid in winter, then you need to get up and wash those balls really good as good as the sex felt, to ensure that sex residues from semen, condoms, lube or some other hard materials used for sex do not accumulate on your genital skin and begin to smell resulting in male genital odor.

6. Incase your smelly balls and testicles are caused by balantis, yeast infection or any sexually transmitted infection, it is recommended to follow the appropriate treatment for such . Some supplements have been known to cause some form of both male and female genital odor.

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Foods that help you lose Weight

Foods that help lose weight.

Okay, you could Google this topic and see a lot of posts spring up, all naming foods that they copied from the site ranking above them. It’s all the same. I have never been fat and would never be, but you don’t have to be fat to lose weight. Around the age of 20, I noticed I started having some extra flesh in the right places and I liked it. I later found out it was due to slower metabolism with increasing age aided by living a sedentary lifestyle. Like everyone else or maybe not some fat slobs. I started becoming conscious of my weight. My jeans became tighter and so I decided to hit the gym. The gym  made my body a little firm not necessarily shed weight. I realized I needed way more energy level to be able to achieve anything in the gym. I needed to exercise pass the pain to make the protruding gut go away. That I couldn’t do. I also discovered that the major step in losing weight is changing your diet, becoming calorie conscious while understanding the concept of a calorie not being a calorie and just doing basic caridio.I  then went on to the internet, searching blog after blog to find foods that would whisk the fat away and make me all muscle. I ate a lot of thrash but later found out the foods that help lose weight really. First of all, this foods would not take you from a pathetic 50 stone to a miraculous 10 stone, that would require some drastic measures. This would simply help you lose a couple pounds here and there and fit into clothes better.

RELATED: FOODS THAT HELP PREVENT ACNE

1. Lemon.

Stop Drinking any form of flavoured water and all the other gimmicks the foods industry in putting out. Instead get lemons, squeeze them with a juice extractor  and mix them with your water. Take this fresh lemon water first thing every morning and every time you drink water, which should be a lot of times during the day. The barely ripe ones are better, taken with water to  reduce it’s acidity. Lime can also be substituted for lemon as lime is even called lemon in places like  Northern India(They also call tangerines ,oranges). The citron species, the ones with very rough skin seems to work better.

2. GrapeFruit

Grape fruit also ranks among the foods that help you lose weight. It has a low glycemic index which can  help the body’s metabolism burn fat. When you want to take fruits, it’s advisable to take grapefruits, there are a whole lot of fruits that can do a lot of harm to humans. Fruits such as apples for example that are made to pass through crude forms of treatment in the breeding stages. Organic fruits are the only ones that give you all the benefits that is acclaimed to fruits. Some fruits are just a bunch of chemical wastes and toxic materials, thanks to the food industry.

RELATED POST:30 DAY GARLIC CHALLENGE/ FOODS THAT MAKE YOU HORNY/

3. Green Tea

You would also need to get a good one that hasn’t been sweetened or had other additives in it’s mix. I recently bought a cold green tea  which was basically little taste of some thing like green tea mixed with carbonated water, sugar and all the crap in soda. The best kinds of green tea are the ones you brew yourself, second best option are green tea bags.

4. Garcinia Cambogia.

Garcinia cambogia is the new food  that can help you lose weight as  endorsed by Dr OZ. It has a remarkable fat burning and fat blocking action but is not recommended for  pregnant  women, or people suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s.  There are a lot of fake garcina cambogia taking over the market mostly coming from china. So you have to be sure of your retailer and not buy something that’s gonna kill you.

GARCINIA CAMBOGIA: WHAT'S ALL THE NOISE ABOUT?

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Porn, Give me My Brain Back

Porn Give me My brain Back.

Okay, I once said I was addicted to porn and loving it. But I just saw Don Jon and now realize that my brain is fried, I’m wired for Porn but I am not addicted to porn. I would get back to that in a minute.

I say my brain is fried because every sound or squeal anybody makes in my everyday life  immediately brings back  the erotic imagery I have come to know so well and set me on the  mental journey I regularly tread, the apodyposis, the acting out and the foul language. Adult entertainers have become a yardstick by which I measure people and now my brain is so fucked up , I wanna wife Jenna  Presley obviously not because she found God.(Oh shit! She found God?).

RELATED POST: PORN STAR FINDS GOD

But I am not addicted to porn. I have been reading all this stuff about Dopamine and some shit about reward driven learning. How a junkie ,a  meth head and a pornaholic all get the vibe in their brains , starting a reward circuitry that causes the surges of dopamine which eventually reaches a point of no return shattering every wall into pieces  and something about the prefrontal lobe of the brain making this road so familiar you take it unconsciously but still I am not addicted to porn. I am addicted to the search , the search for porn.

Arousal Addiction is the culprit here, the pornlepsy contracted while new material is being downloaded. The Coolidge effect of some thing new, something fresh. The same reasons there are a thousand new ipad editions with one feature added two weeks apart. This neurological mechanism is the real deal and upping the game is the only thing that rewards it. Upping the game leads to Overstimulation of the reward circuitry and the inherent numbness of the brain due to both over exposure to  erotic imagery and constant waxing of the candle stick.

RELATED POST: ADDICTED TO PORN AND LOVING IT

This wouldn’t really be an issue, if not for the negative self-perception, low level of motivation, social anxiety, concentration problems and depression it leaves with me, which in most cases has almost no direct correlation to the addiction making the source of these conditions mistaken as coming with the wind.

Okay, No one watches it, this way.

With over one billion sites presently cashing in on this addiction, trying to  get people to become porn agains  possessing pornographic memory. It is easy to get the brain fried with it’s extreme novelty approach with very little aversion options. The novelty approach influences the search and the search is the real deal

I am not addicted to porn, it pays to say it over and over again. This, some may say signifies the denial stage of addiction, well, thanks for sharing.

Gary Wilson (name sounds like a wanker’s) went all the way to carry out a porn experiment discussing symptoms in porn consumers and how to reverse the effects with withdrawal and regulation with some good science back up. It’s best watched immediately before or after porn.

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Female Genital Odor due to SEX

Female Genital Odor due to Sex

Vaginal Odor can occur as a result of sex. Many times women notice a fishy vagina odor after sex. This may be as a result of  something  called a bacteria vaginosis. This often occurs after unprotected sex

Bacterial vaginosis is as a result of PH imbalance in the vagina due to sex or even pregnancy. The pH of a healthy vagina is between 3.5 to 4.5, meaning “vaginas be acidic”.( Don’t we all already know this?) Semen on the other hand has a pH of 7.1 to 8.0 which is fairly close to the pH of water which is 7.0, Giving  the term ”shooting blanks ” a whole new meaning. Lower semen pH  may be an indication that the vessels of one of the balls is blocked or fried, a higher one means there is an infection. The blanks  which is the semen gets into the vagina and offsets the pH of that rose Garden, turning it into a fish abattoir and having hardwood floors might not even make a difference when it comes to that jizz cream that has turned the world upside down. The fishy odor is as a result of something called animes.

The only time to really worry about bacterial vaginosis is during pregnancy and if you happen to be the one out of the five women who would get this disease . During pregnancy it may lead to miscarriage, low birth weight and pre-term labor. The treatment of vaginal vaginosis is by the administration of antibiotics  or probiotics taken after a doctor must have confirmed the presence of bacterial vaginosis by taking a swab on the vagina.

The most effective ways to get rid of female genital odor still remains

1. Taking your bath regularly paying much attention to washing the genital with soaps that would not disrupt the pH of the vagina. Dry off the genital area giving at least a space of 5 minutes before putting your Black Panties on.

2. Wear cotton underwear and not too tight underwears.

3. Don’t be scared to let your vagina breathe by going commando. A vagina that goes commando regularly always attracts a commando.(Please don’t say this in public). Going to bed without panties would also help the vagina regulate it's PH.

4. Avoid Douching: Douches in some cases , alter the pH of the vagina and turn it into a bacteria breeding ground, same as perfumed and scented tampons. Leave douching to the gays.

5. Use Waterworks instead ,because  the United  States Food and Drug Administration Says so and because you read it on this blog. In waterworks, the flow goes down as against up and down in douches. 

6. Get hardwood floors (remove the furry carpeting). It is literally becoming a crime for which you can go to womanhood Jail for to keep the furry carpet on. Get rid of those pubes. You have enough on your head, seriously
that’s the reason you have been given so much on your head. Any other place is not acceptable. Although, Female genital Odor is way worse than looking like a baboon down there

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Letter to My Little Daughter

D

ear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

RELATED POST: GROWING UP FATHERLESS, LESSONS I LEARNT

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

RELATED POST:LETTER TO MY UNBORN CHILD

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy

.

This letter was written by Dr Kelly Flanagan.

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Ways to Get rid of Dark Armpits

Dark patches on the armpit can be very embarrassing and irritating if seen on a selfie or a video playback. Ladies tend to skip on sleeveless materials just to avoid grossing out people , should they have to wave over the head to a friend or do anything that involves lifting the hand. There are ways to get rid of dark armpits, but first what are the causes.

 CAUSES OF DARK ARMPITS

1. Shaving – Aside from razor bumps, shaving with razors cause dark armpits. Razors cut only the hair on the surface of the skin, leaving the inner hairs to form bumps and stubbles , resulting in a dark color. Waxing as against razors or shaving creams do a better job of getting rid of the armpit hairs from the root, keeping you hairless longer sans dark armpits.

2.Use of Strong deodorant – Studies have shown that  strong deodorants especially ones containing alcohol, darken the armpit skin. Alcohol leads to dehydration , therefore applying alcohol on your naked skin would expose your skin cells to alcohol, thereby drying them up and resulting in a dark armpit.

3. Dead cells – The accumulation of dead cells, deodorants and sweat, if not probably cleaned can result in dark underarms.  Use a good exfoliating cream to get rid of those dead skin cells and to get rid of the dark armpits.

Ways to get rid of dark armpits:

1. Lemon Juice

Rubbing your underarms with lemon juice is one of the most effective ways to lighten your underarms as lemon has natural bleaching properties.  It works not only for the armpits but also for the face  to get rid of dark acne spots . Apply on face 15 minutes before bathing in circular motions. Apply moisturizer to soften your skin afterwards. When you begin the application of lemon on the skin, it is advisable to use deodorant sparingly to avoid any form of reaction.

2. Baking Soda:  

Baking soda works with dark underarms  the same way it works for whitening the teeth. Make Baking soda into a paste and scrub the armpits vigorously either with a loofah or scrubber to eliminate dead skin on the armpits.

3. Papaya:

Papayas contain enzymes that are great for cleaning the skin. Apply shredded papaya on your underarms and let it dry. Wash it off after about 15 minutes. Tea tree oil may also be added.Use papaya that is not too ripe. 

4. Saffron

Saffron works well to lighten the underarms. Mix a pinch or two of saffron in milk or cream and apply the mixture to your underarms before going to sleep at night. Leave it overnight then wash off the next morning. This will lighten your armpits and kill harmful bacteria that cause bad odor

5. Gram flour and Yogurt

GoodLuck  rubbing this puke on your armpits

You can mix gram flour, lemon juice, yogurt, and a pinch of turmeric powder to make a paste. Yogurt has properties that  help lighten the skin even the face. Apply the paste to your underarms and leave for 20 minutes and wash with lukewarm water.Repeat this process at least 3 times a week for best results.

6. Armpits whitening Cream

 Most of the celebrities you see with spotless armpits are not rubbing lemon juice, baking soda on their bodies. They are doing one of these three things

1. Using an Armpit whitening cream: Natural products like lemon Juice would take about 2 months of consistence to get a spotless armpit , assuming you stop doing any armpit darkening activity while you are at it. Celebrities however don't have two months to sit and watch an armpit change from beige to normal, so they go for the fast fix, armpit whitening cream. Fast action within one week!.

II. The Almighty Photoshop. Photoshop is always to the rescue until there is a head mismatch or an erroneous skin graft.

III. Armpit whitening cream and Photoshop. 

It's called Digital Shaving.( That's also a good app idea- ishave)

7. Underarms whitening surgery: 

There is a lot to this, laser treatment, skin grafting etc. If you eventually have plans to look like Micheal Jackson in the near future, you can start by having a machine scrap out your armpits.

OMG! Someone went to Medical School just to shave Armpits?

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