HOW TO HAVE SEX----FIRST TIME SEX SERIES

Sex is a beautiful thing. It’s a good form of exercise, a source of pleasure but the world we live in has completely messed it up. The religious bodies think of it as too sacred to be done casually outside the confines of marriage, the secular world seems to employ it as a tool for advertising, hence the word sex sells. Presently,there are several multi billion dollar industries riding on the back of sex. Sex is now like  a little piece of cloth being pulled from different sides of it’s helm by different opposing forces, thereby ruining the seams of the material. The first time sex series however hopes to teach people how to have sex and enjoy it without all the issues that come with it.

If you are reading this, I’m assuming you are preparing to have sex either for the first time or the umpteenth time and you just want to have some kind of checklist. So before you go plowing away, here is the first text on how to have sex,. The preparation. There are certain things you have to put in place when you want to have sex.

1.    Find a willing Partner

You would be surprised at the number of people who want to have sex but don’t think of the first major thing to do before having sex. Finding a willing partner, note the word willing, It takes at least two to tangle, feeling yourself is not sex, that’s just masturbation. Someone you are attracted to , who is also attracted to you and is willing to have sex with you. It’s not that hard to find. If you can’t find any, then you might want to sign up for membership on the numerous hook up sites and apps available. The only catch here is that for all apps , you should be above 18. Don’t bother lying, because you might be putting your hookup partner in danger of getting arrested for having sex with a minor. Never force someone to have sex with you, it’s called Rape .

2.    Know the age of consent.

Don’t mean to rain on your parade but you should be sure yourself and your partner are within the ages of consent for sex in your region. It is very important that either both of you or all of you are above the age limit or all of you are below it. It is very dangerous for one of you to be below the age of consent because the older person might be arrested if word ever gets out. There are lots of black males in American Prisons because they hooked up with Minors. Once you are 18 in the US for example, you cannot have sex with anyone below 18.  If both of you or all of you are in your lower teens, then you can shag away.

3.    Find a suitable Location.

You can do it anywhere

Before reading an article on “how to have sex’, you must have or be in the process of finding a good location to have sex. Okay, I don’t mean to make it sound like  finding a movie set. It’s just a place where both or all of you can be naked together without looking over your shoulders, or getting arrested for indecent exposure. Your bedroom, your partner's bedroom, the basement, or even the tree house. Somewhere you can have a couple minutes together without the fear of getting caught. Although in some cases, that may even add to the thrill. You might even book a room but again that would not be possible for minors.

4.    Buy some stuff.

The most essential thing to buy is a Condom and not just any, buy the good stuff that wouldn’t break and wouldn't impede pleasure. If you are too shy to go, get a condom at the pharmacy ,then buy online and insist on discreet packaging. The following things really suck in no particular order, 

• unwanted pregnancy, 
• teen pregnancy, 
• teen parents, 
• sexually transmitted disease,
• child support,
• abortion, 
• jail and all these things can happen if you are having sex without a condom.

You might also need to buy lube, to ease penetration, depending on what kind of sex, you are intending to practice.
Intimate wash might come in handy, due to sex horror stories of pungent smells oozing out during sex from partner’s body. Male genital odor wash for males and of a female intimate wash for females.
For females using any kind of wash or gel should be at least 3 days away from the actual D-day.

5.    Keep yourself Clean.

Boost your confidence by keeping yourself very clean before  having sex. You might want to trim pubes and armpit hair, use a mouth freshener, take a decent bath and avoid spicy foods. Funky smells during sex is a complete turn off.

6.    Exercise.

Sex requires some form of muscle exertion. It would be nice, if you have a little strength to go with it. For sex, a lot of it , lies in the lower body, the glutes, the thighs, the knees and calves. Doing a simple thing as taking a walk might be be beneficial for you.

7.    Forget everything you saw in porn.

If you are really reading an article on how to have sex and you haven’t seen porn, then don’t. Porn is not sex , it’s is simply a performance and should not be used as a measure for sex.

RELATED: SPERM SWALLOWING TO SWALLOW OR NOT

NEXT: HOW TO HAVE SEX- FOREPLAY.

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Sex Positions to help get pregnant

Positions to get pregnant

When trying to conceive,  a lot of issues and myths come into play about preferable sexual positions to get pregnant. While most of them are not scientifically proven, some experts and pregnant women swear by certain sexual positions to quickly get a bun in the oven faster than others. Sex is the most important activity when you are trying to get pregnant. However, when you have sex in relation to the woman’s menstruation day is also very important. How you have sex is the least important of those three. How you have sex might not be as important as whom you have sex with (Some guys  keep shooting blanks ) but it’s more important than where you have sex in order to get pregnant.  Where you have sex is totally irrelevant for now until someone comes up with another myth and gets an interview on daytime television. It however sucks for a child to discover he was conceived at the backseat of an old mustang.  

                         HOW TO HAVE SEX |     GET PREGNANT

What are the best sex positions to get pregnant?1. Missionary

There is a reason this position is called missionary position. A missionary is someone sent to a foreign country to do mostly religious work which is expected to yield fruits. Missionary position is where the male is on top and the female is on her back receiving the good work of the male which is expected to yield fruits. Missionary is the oldest sexual position and is also widely regarded as the most decent. Back in the olden days, missionary was the commonest sex position and to some the only sexual position and the world population has steadily increased  since then- Thanks to good old missionary. The key here is to ensure deep penetration , a pillow might come in handy somewhere under the woman to ensure that they work with gravity ( which is totally a myth that simply has a placebo effect.) A Deep penetration would reduce the distance the swimmers have to travel before they find a good egg.

2. Doggy style

Just like the name implies, this is the only style most animals especially dogs use and they get pregnant and litter the world with much more animals. The doggy style ensures deep penetration good for conception and has been getting women and girls pregnant since it was founded. The only problem here is , most times you might not remember who the father is. 

3. Glowing Triangle

Glowing triangle is a modification of missionary position in which the ladies legs are bent to ensure deeper penetration and to work with gravity alongside maximum clitoris stimulation to ensure the lady gets knocked up in no time.

4. Magic Mountain

Magic Mountain is a modification of the doggy style. The mountain here, being a bunch of pillows for the lady to rest her chest on while her rear end is left at the mercies of a baby maker. Deep penetration is guaranteed. Magic mountain is a good sex position to get pregnant.

   Best Sex Positions for Pregnancy

 Certain points are also  very crucial when it comes to sex positions to get pregnant. 

What are these crucial points for sex to get pregnant?

1. Being Stress Free

2. Eating foods that help you get pregnant

3. Orgasm:  Orgasms opens up and dilates the  cervix, lubricates the  vagina and makes the uterus and vagina contract. All these factors put together are the perfect recipe for baby making. And when the pregnancy finally comes here are positions to ensure you still have great fun.

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Porn Sex Vs Real Safe Sex

PORN Sex vs REAL SAFE SEX

For those addicted to porn and fantasizing about having a partner carry out all their porn inspired fetishes.Porn is different from safe sex in real life. Let’s find out how?

1.       Porn stars penises are 6- 9 inches long, dangling in between their feets and needing lots of medication to keep it up and keep it strong, civilian penises are 5 to 7 inches. There are however well proven male genital enlargement steps to party like a porn star.

    RELATED POSTS: SAFE SEX ANYONE? | I ALSO PREACH SAFE SEX

I Know you think my wee wee is small but i am more famous than you
and i'm doing nothing

2.       Porn stars have very little pubic hair but in real life 65% of men and 85% of women are hairy down there and most likely have some kind of genital odor.

Now this is the real deal.

.       Female porn star privates tend to have some certain kind of look but in the real world, vaginas come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

      For arousal, real people need 10 to 12 minutes before they are fully ready to jump off the cliff in real safe sex but for porn stars , they seem to immediately get the rifles ready for battle without any hesitation or time lost, thanks to the film editors.

     In porn sex, porn stars can hump for days, because it is robotic, emotionless and a show, but in real life sex, Men bust a nut within a average of 3 Minutes

    In Porn, Female Porn Stars tend to have Orgasms Only through penetration, in Real life. 7% of Women don’t. (Do you still wonder why Some women are so  grumpy).

         Unlike Porn Stars only 11.5% of Women have had a Same Sex experience   Only 40% of women have tried Anal (this percentage is Still Pretty Much Outrageous)

    RELATED POSTS: PORN STAR FINDS GOD| WHY MEN ARE ADDICTED TO PORN

              Only 22% of People Say they would take a hot load in the face.

            Only 30% would actually Swallow. Good girls don’t swallow.

1          The Portion of women who have been in a threesomes is less than 20%

1          Only 6% of Women have ever ejaculated.

1         Only 40% of Women have tried light bondage.

   And  all these Statistics are Only from People in America.

        Aside from the fact that nobody looks good when they are getting down and  make rhythmic noises and very few people actually talk dirty. This multi-  billion dollar industry present in almost every country in the world is as fictitious as it gets.
     Kbcreative lab was creative enough to represent this little piece of information in a video using food items. Feeling Hungry?

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Sexting

Sexting 101

"i would show you mine , if you show me yours"

The word Sexting was coined from the words  “sex” and “texting”. Sexting involves the transfer via phone of sexually suggestive text messages, audio sounds, MMs and selfies usually between two lovers who may or may not be in the same location. It is also known as cyber flirting. Sexting can be a very good form of foreplay between lovers who are about to meet each other . Sexting however requires creativity. Both parties have to be on the same page and understand one another. It’s mostly dirty words, or like Hindus say, “gandi baat” and sexual pictures of oneself

Rules to Sexting

Keep it Short

Texts should be brief, mysterious and tantalizing; this will keep your partners imaginative juice flowing and leave them wanting more..

Go Hard or Go Home

The beauty of sexting is that you can live out your fantasies in words without any fear or judgment except you are sexting with a prude or just about anybody who gets irritated by dirty talk, so go hard. The urban dictionary would help you with words to use, as conventional words would kill the mood. Instead of saying, “ that tie you are wearing, let’s use it tonight”, you can say. “I hope that tie of yours is strong enough to hold my ass in the air why you grill me from behind”. Safe the emoticons for “get well soon” messages, except you download sexually suggestive emoticons. LOL is as dumb as it looks and sounds, this is not preschool. Go hard, nobody is going to get pregnant.

Headless Pictures Keeps everything safe

A selfie would be a very good initiator of sexting but if you ever intend to run for Mayor of New York or any political position for that matter in any country in the world , and you happen to be sexting with someone other than your spouse, then you should keep your pictures headless. As a rule, even if you are sexting with someone who you might break up with, then except you live in California, you should keep your pictures headless to prevent revenge picture leak. A sexting picture is just as scandalous as a sextape if it gets into the wrong hands with your face in it. Take your best features with an app like snap chat that deletes the picture after it is received and viewed to keep things safe. Tattoos would always give you away, so be careful to exclude tattoos from  your pictures and it would be nice to slap some filters over it before sending ,so it turns on and not off. Deleting the photos off your phone would also prevent any form of embarrassment in case of a possible phone hack or theft. Ensure that everything in the room is not taken and the ones that are should look good and compliment the selfie. Sexting should be fun , use a good sexting phoneand take quality pictures.

This Man  is a Judge in Detroit.

Be Sure you are sexting the right person.

The worst thing that can happen to anyone sexting is to sext the wrong person. It is very embarrassing and can even lead to grave consequences, like firing, ostracizing and what not. Don’t sext with a phone on which you group chat all the time, be sure of what you are doing and be sober while doing it.

Keep it between us

Sharing photos or text messages used in sexting is wrong except you are using it in court to nail a bastard. Same as sexting with multiple people at the same time, if you can do it well without any mistakes (which rarely happens ) then why not? Otherwise stick to one.

"I am not wearing any underwear"

Sexting is every where , 15 percent of adult phones owners received a sext and 6 percent sent one by spring 2012 in America alone.

RELATED POST: LIES ABOUT SEX

READ : 50 Sexting Tips for Women AND Sexting the Limits

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Safe Sex Vs Rough Sex.

For a while now, we have being trying to prove that safe sex  does not only involve the use of condoms and it took a blog post to prove that. Now we have more prove to show that rough loud sex might not be considered safe anymore, at least if children are in the neighborhood. Read for yourself what Mister Spencer had to right to his neighbor after a noisy evening and a sleepless night.

Needless to say, the love birds turned it up the next night and Mr John Williams had to relocate, forgoing his mortgage for the sake of the sanity of his girls. Safe sex anyone?

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Safe Sex Anyone?

SAFE SEX ANYONE?

When you hear  safe sex;you immediately think of condoms. Just Condoms.As long as you use condoms you are practicing safe sex. Well,  safe sex goes beyond condoms and you can as well soak your condoms in apple cidar vinegar or wear double coated and lubricated latex and still die within seconds. Because condoms never make sex safe, there is nothing safe about bodies on bodies and exchange of bodily fluids and a single “ barrier device” cannot make it safe even if the so called device is waterproof,elastic and durable. You are better off using these condoms to make waterproof microphones and  prevent  rifle barriers from clogging .

A  Chinese couple ( names unnecessary) fell to their death  in Wuhan  in June 2013 when the window they were leaning on while having sex gave way. They were most likely in an ascent to desire position  while leaning against a window and then the man’s knees grew weak , the window gave way and the lady flew through just before she climaxed and they both  crashed into the concrete floor of the ancient city of  Wuhan. Although it is not clear if they used  condoms or not, since they were a couple.That’s unsafe sex. In this case , a trampoline ,cushion  or even parachute would have had much more effect than a condom .

A young girl in  India, a student of Ranchi Women College decided to taste the forbidden fruit for the first time in May 2013 and man , did it hurt? It was with her long time boyfriend of 5 years and it took  place in a hotel, they both checked into. They had checked into different rooms to avoid any suspicion as the society they live in is as hypocritical as can be. At 2 am, Amit Kumar got up and made way for room 203 to carry out the 203. Of course they intended to practice safe sex and they did until the bleeding started. After bleeding for 2 hours, amit had to hide his shame and call the hotel attendants to come and put an end to what they didn't start. By then, the young girl was gone. Amit was initially charged for rape but even when he is released, he would never look at a vagina the same way again and he would understand the meaning of safe sex. Lube would have had much more effect than a condom here, but of course, the people said their gods were responsible.

RELATED POSTS: I ALSO PREACH SAFE SEX | LIES ABOUT SEX

A housewife in Lagos , Nigeria decided to check out a number on her bucket list in March 2013 and practice safe sex with her married neighbor while her own husband was out working and the neighbor’s wife was also out. The intensity of the whole action drove her blood pressure to insane rates and she eventually suffered a cardiac arrest which was originally thought to be an orgasm by her partner. It was only  rightfully concluded as a cardiac arrest when she remain still and started  growing cold. The man was arrested and of course his plea of carrying out safe sex was thrown in the trash. In this case, a doctor’s report  and personal check up would have been more important than condom. Here again, the people attributed the death to some diabolic oath taken by the one of the couple with or without the knowledge of both partners.

In May 2013, a man from Montreal was sentenced to  serve a one year prison sentence due to the death of his lover through safe sex practices that included sado masochistic sex which involved binding her in chains with her feet fully restrained and a metal collar around her neck and then he went out to get pizza and came back to meet her dead. In this case, common sense would have been better suited than condoms.

And finally in March 2013, a prostitute in Zimbabwe died while having safe sex but when she was being lifted out in a coffin, she came back to life and shouted,” do you want to kill me?”. She had obviously not fulfilled her destiny. Now the ultimate question, are you practicing  safe sex?

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