Porn, Give me My Brain Back

Porn Give me My brain Back.

Okay, I once said I was addicted to porn and loving it. But I just saw Don Jon and now realize that my brain is fried, I’m wired for Porn but I am not addicted to porn. I would get back to that in a minute.

I say my brain is fried because every sound or squeal anybody makes in my everyday life  immediately brings back  the erotic imagery I have come to know so well and set me on the  mental journey I regularly tread, the apodyposis, the acting out and the foul language. Adult entertainers have become a yardstick by which I measure people and now my brain is so fucked up , I wanna wife Jenna  Presley obviously not because she found God.(Oh shit! She found God?).

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But I am not addicted to porn. I have been reading all this stuff about Dopamine and some shit about reward driven learning. How a junkie ,a  meth head and a pornaholic all get the vibe in their brains , starting a reward circuitry that causes the surges of dopamine which eventually reaches a point of no return shattering every wall into pieces  and something about the prefrontal lobe of the brain making this road so familiar you take it unconsciously but still I am not addicted to porn. I am addicted to the search , the search for porn.

Arousal Addiction is the culprit here, the pornlepsy contracted while new material is being downloaded. The Coolidge effect of some thing new, something fresh. The same reasons there are a thousand new ipad editions with one feature added two weeks apart. This neurological mechanism is the real deal and upping the game is the only thing that rewards it. Upping the game leads to Overstimulation of the reward circuitry and the inherent numbness of the brain due to both over exposure to  erotic imagery and constant waxing of the candle stick.

RELATED POST: ADDICTED TO PORN AND LOVING IT

This wouldn’t really be an issue, if not for the negative self-perception, low level of motivation, social anxiety, concentration problems and depression it leaves with me, which in most cases has almost no direct correlation to the addiction making the source of these conditions mistaken as coming with the wind.

Okay, No one watches it, this way.

With over one billion sites presently cashing in on this addiction, trying to  get people to become porn agains  possessing pornographic memory. It is easy to get the brain fried with it’s extreme novelty approach with very little aversion options. The novelty approach influences the search and the search is the real deal

I am not addicted to porn, it pays to say it over and over again. This, some may say signifies the denial stage of addiction, well, thanks for sharing.

Gary Wilson (name sounds like a wanker’s) went all the way to carry out a porn experiment discussing symptoms in porn consumers and how to reverse the effects with withdrawal and regulation with some good science back up. It’s best watched immediately before or after porn.

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To be : PORN STAR finds God

To Be: Porn star finds God.

The angels are singing hallelujah in heaven as our sister from another mother Britni (Jenna Presley ) would no longer be taking it in the back door in front of a camera anymore. She has found God. Jenna Presley was the official porn name that she  used in  the industry marred with sex, drugs, lies, videotapes and addiction since 2005.

It always starts with the approach. You are siting in a coffee shop, having breakfast and having thoughts of changing the world by eradicating male genital odor, when all of a sudden you are approached  and this time around they are not holding Awake Journals or preaching about the endtime. They simply think you have all it takes to be a STAR. You find yourself stuck in the confusion  of “ to be or not to be”. In Britni’s case she was approached after her dance performance at Santa Barbara City College. She immediately overcame the battle of " to be or not to be' and chose not only to be but to become. Upon executing the first few scenes, she realized she was a star. She enjoyed the affirmation of beauty and power  that comes with the territory and winning fans' choice best new starlet award  because she didn’t get any love or validation from, her troubled upbringing. 

She went ahead to make her boobs bigger, to push her competitors into obscurity with the glory of her giant enormous breasts. She soon discovered, it never pays to be at the receiving end of a cum shot  It took her  over 275 films in 7 years  to realize that, some of which she had to dress as  a little school girl with pigtails to shoot several scenes in one day. Of course , she mastered the act of robotic intimacy ,unemotional penetration and drug induced thrusting. She also discovered that every scene left a big hole which she tried to fill up with drugs and wrist cuts until she finally summoned up the courage to call her grandmother, who obliged to fill the hole . Miles McPherson  the head of the Rock church in San Diego was able to let her know that only Jesus can fill a hole as wide as that. She let him in only to turn her back again because the devil had a plot but Jesus had a plan. Hallelujah!.

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 Finally the XXX church , stepped in because this was their territory, bringing back the lost whores brides to the bridegroom and  now, she is back. She proclaims there is life after porn and prostitution which only Jesus can give. What would Jesus do?

A comment on this news read,

Before I became a Christian, I have struggled with lust. Jenna Presley is one of my favorite porn star. Even now, I'm still struggling with porn. But this video motivates me. I mean, what's the point of me getting back to porn f-cking with porn  when my favorite porn stars are  f-cking with Christ going to Christ. You don't know how blessed I am when I saw this video. I love you, Jenna! God bless!

Watch video Here

This just proves what we all already know, that Jesus came for the lost Dog sheep of Israel and bitches always go to Heaven.

 My name is Britni, I used to be an adult star. I met Rachel several times at the   exotical conventions. She would know me as Jenna Presley.I would stop by at the XXX church to see her. She is so beautiful and I absolutely love and adore her. I want to give her the most amazing praise report. Thank you Jesus, I found him, I’m home. It’s been a long 7 year journey of porn, prostitution, stripping, drugs,alcohol and several failed suicide attempts but I made up. Little did I know, little did I ever know that, I would stumble upon the XXX church again since leaving the adult industry. I could not believe my eyes when I realized , wow! , this are the "Jesus loves porn stars" people. Then I saw Rachel's picture and I just had to let her know that I’m saved. I want to thank her for all her kind words and loving spirit.  I have finally encountered the unconditional love of God and I would never go back.

RELATED POST: ADDICTED TO PORN AND LOVING IT.

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ADDICTED TO PORN AND LOVING IT.

Just so we’re clear, I’m not  addicted to porn nor am I a porn addict. I have the whole of the American psychiatric association backing me up on this, "porn addiction doesn't exist  but the heavy use of porn." They also happen to be the association that deals with people with chemical imbalance in the brain. Why would I say I’m not addicted to porn, when I spend quality time viewing porn daily, I have porntime which is immediately after lunchtime on weekends and before prayertime on weekdays. I am not Addicted to Porn because  everyday  I tell myself I can quit it if I really wanted to.   

It starts with the lure of visual stimulation or as pornharms.com  would call it, "the morality in all form of media" but  how can you pass over a girl taking off her underwear for no reason and revealing intimate parts of herself, you can literally see her ovaries. Of course, I can’t be addicted to porn because I never fail to judge them and imagine what kind of lives they have lived previously that had made them embrace the decision to engage in porn.

Porn becomes  a necessity for me when I feel the need to  stop my brain from thinking . I have the attention span of a jelly fish, so my brain gets worked up a lot, but porn much more that television or alcohol completely numbs my brain , the exact medication I need.  Okay, maybe there are indeed people addicted to porn but according  to research, these people must have had childhood trauma, anxiety , depression , personality disorder or social phobia. The only childhood trauma I had was that my parents loved and cared for me too much , somedays  I wanted to  poke my eyeballs with bicycles spokes and I was constantly falling into depression because I had everything I needed and was raised to be successful and hardworking and I was so social phobic that I always went out of  the house that built me to look for friends . All the reasons why I know I ‘m not addicted to porn.

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The inability to find a real life partner, sexual boredom in my relationships and the shame of sexual difficulties like male genital odor may have led me to becoming addicted to porn, but I would have to suffer from those issues to start with.

This is not a knee jerk reaction to the accusation of being addicted to porn when I was made to realize that I have paid for internet porn and found myself viewing porn at a funeral or skipped work in general just to enjoy some more porn time and no longer see the need to hide my porn from friends. No!

No, i'm not watching porn, it's just an online relationship
guide.

And porn is not my way of acting out any suppressed fantasy or fetish or my crack cocaine to sex addiction. I’m just one of the 20 Million internet heavy porn users in the U.S alone.

Okay, porn is needed for beating off  even though  I suddenly lose interest in the material after waxing the brass candle stick, but since porn leads to masturbation , the desire to jerk off also  leads to the hunt for porn.That is why, it is often said that the way to lose interest in porn is by seizing to masturbate to it. The hunt involving scanning through tons of sleazy stuff to find that right material that can make you ride the quarter horse,  the hunt takes more time everytime because repeat actions are not pleasant  and a higher stimulation or dose is needed to join the mile high club and then the cycle  continues . 

My wang would have to take out a restraining order on my hand.

When I track the amount of time used in waxing the brass candlestick,Megabytes spent on traffic junky and relationship strains it has caused, I pick interest in harm reduction approach but immediately dismiss it because I am not addicted to porn. When I am ready I would get a blocking software, train my mind not to act on compulsion and relapse wouldn’t be an option because that’s only for those addicted to porn and loathing it.

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