ElijahForce ElijahForce
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Friday 29 November 2013

I Just Got Fired.

I Just Got fired!. I never thought this day would come, i never thought for a single day, i would be caught off guard with a sack letter. The Job sucks no doubt and i had also started making plans to leave. I gave myself 9 months, by which time i would have received a promotion and immediately leave and use my new position as a leverage for the new job i would be seeking., but i was wrong and i had miscalculated. Working in sales can be very tasking especially when you are selling a bad product. In training school, we were taught to be able to sell refrigerators to Eskimos but in the real sense, to do that, you would have to be dealing with a stupid Eskimo, lying that you are  selling a refrigerator which doubles as a heater or duping an Eskimo. In the real world, there are bad products, bad managements and utterly useless companies. The company wasn't posting much profit due to huge poor business decisions made by management staff in the past and the firing was inevitable. I was stupid enough to think i could hang in there until the wheels come off literally.
Nothing happens to me without some kind of premonition. I know not to cross the road at certain times to avoid be run down by a bicycle and what not. I once had a premonition not to wear a shirt to class in my school days. Of course, i did and i was immediately mistaken for someone else by a crazy professor who sent me out of his office when i went to register his course. And just like every other time something crazy was going to happen, i had a premonition of this too.

It was a weird dream , i found myself in the office, only this time it looked like a junk yard where auto parts came to die. There was a lot of frenzy in the compound. Turns out the whole chaos was over a list that has just been pasted on the dusty wall, i immediately ran through it and found my full name. I couldn't tell what the list was about but i knew in that dream, it was bad,. So i tried to clean it out, i woke up still wiping the bed sheets.  That same morning, i dressed up for work , showed up , only to experience difficulty trying to log into my office portal. I was immediately told i was no longer in the office directory list of staff and should await my sack letter from my immediate boss. Of course , the poorly drafted letter was sent by mail within 15 minutes, to my boss who printed it out with the already ink starved printer and then handed it over to me, after doing some pep talk , of how "life gives you lemons  but you have got to make lemonades". During the whole speech, i couldn't get past the thought that people who were asked to leave the company were actually nominated and i was trying to guess who must have nominated me, my immediate boss or his boss who heads  the region in another state. I'm guessing the former and if that is true then this whole speech would be adding insult to injury and it would be well to simply walk out of the room and leave the fat bastard hanging, but i didn't , i was an epitome of an overdose of optimism, i felt things could still change, a mail could still be sent telling my boss it was all a mistake. I had just closed a good sale yesterday. But the nomination was done weeks before that time.

I just got fired and i'm still in a state of shock, clearing out my desk amidst the pity faces of my now former collegues. This was a job to make a living and it was leaving me before the planned date. Next time i get a job offer, i already know the questions to ask myself. There is no looking back now, the company would eventually function without me and the only thing i would be taking away is my saved income and a few good friends and how not to run a company. The feeling sucks, it does but it's a feeling worth experiencing , because at this point you understand how life works, your own personal worth and why you should never neglect the subtle signs of stress and pressure in a company, knowing when to hold them, when to fold them, when to run away and when to come out and play.

Tuesday 19 November 2013

Foods that increase Your sperm count

foods that increase sperm count, Health

Asparagus - 

That little green vegetable that gets so much flack for what it does to the smell of your urine actually has some fantastic powers over sperm. The ridiculously high amount of Vitamin C prevents sperm from oxidizing, and it protects the cells of the testicles. Additionally, Vitamin C decreases free radicals so your man’s body can focus on producing sperm instead of fighting off disease.
foods that increase sperm count, Health


Avocado -

 Summer is the perfect time to pick up some yummy avocados for guacamole… and a hot night at home. Packed with vitamin E, vitamin B6, and folic acid, avocados boost sperm motility and give it the strength to penetrate an egg.

Bananas -

foods that increase sperm count, Health

 Upon reading that this fruit can help your guy out, we had some giggly flashbacks to Drew Barrymore putting a condom on a banana in Never Been Kissed. Phallic shape aside, there are some awesome things going on in bananas to help increase sperm count. Bananas have a rare enzyme in them called Bromelain, which has been shown to regulate sex hormones. There’s also a good amount of vitamin B1, vitamin A, and vitamin C which will help increase his stamina and boost his body’s ability to make sperm.


Beef -
foods that increase sperm count, Health

 This was a little surprising to us given that doctors are constantly saying to lay off red meat if you want a healthy heart. Lean beef, though, is a fantastic source of zinc. A little research on the Dr. Oz site told us that zinc has protective properties that keep free radicals from getting at your man’s little swimmers. In fact, zinc goes even further to prevent testosterone from converting to estrogen, which is the culprit of a low sex drive.

Dark Chocolate -

foods that increase sperm count, Health

 There’s no sexier food to bring into the bedroom than dark chocolate, but now, it’s not just the seductive taste you’ll want it for. Dark chocolate contains L-Arginine HCL, an amino acid related to the arginine in walnuts. It also doubles your guy’s sperm count and Fluid volume. Men who eat a little dark chocolate everyday have also noted that they have stronger and more intense heavenly feelings. BONUS: it does that for you, too. *wink*

Garlic -

foods that increase sperm count, Health

 Along the same lines as ginseng, garlic possesses the power to increase blood flow. The chemical allicin not only helps keep plaque from building up in the arteries, it also improves the flow of blood to the genitals and boosts the strength and endurance of the sperm. Garlic also contains selenium and vitamin B6 to prevent sperm damage and regulate hormones.

foods that increase sperm count, Health

Ginseng -

Dr. Oz recommends ginseng for guys who are dealing with less than impressive bedroom scenarios, but a little more online research tells us that men in Asia have been supplementing ginseng into their diets for centuries because it improves virility. In fact, ginseng increases libido, intimate performance, and aids in blood flow to the testicles. In a study at Southern Illinois University, 45 men with Attention dysfunction were put on a ginseng regimen, and at 16 weeks, 60% of those men reported having stronger erections.


Oysters -

 The fact that oysters are an aphrodisiac was first presented to me in the form of Sex in the City. The process of feeding to each other and sucking down the slimy little things really gets people going. Did you know they also have sperm count increasing benefits? A good portion of a sperm cell is composed of zinc, which oysters are relatively high in. Eating oysters can not only increase sperm production but it can aid in the repair of damaged sperm.

Pomegranate -


foods that increase sperm count, Health
This is the most super of all super foods. It seems like it can truly cure whatever ails you from the common cold to low sperm count. Because of the intense cocktail of antioxidants in pomegranates, the juice can lower a chemical in the blood called malondialidehyde. That chemical destroys sperm, so drinking pomegranate juice is like putting a super hero cape on all those sperm so they can destroy the evil free radicals and get to the egg just in time.

Walnuts - 


In high school, we were given a comparison between the size of a walnut and a testicle. Strangely enough, size is not the only link between them. Walnuts contain arganine, which helps the testicles to increase sperm production and also aids in Fluid volume increase. It also contains Omega-3 fatty acids which improve the blood flow to the joystick. These nuts also have twice the antioxidant power over other nuts so they do a great job of protecting the little guys, too. BONUS: eating 7 walnuts a day lowers cholesterol and the risk of heart disease.


Originally posted by ModernMom.

Saturday 16 November 2013

Female Genital Odor Elimination

female genital odor, vaginal odor
It is a myth that vaginas smell like rose petals, they don’t. The female genital otherwise known as the vagina is about the only part of the body that has a wide range of odors.  From a fish smelling vagina during a bacteria overgrowth to a faint bleach smell immediately after sex to a blood like smell during menstration to a musky odor after a strenuous activity to no smell at all immediately after bath. The female genital has a wide range of smell/odor. If you think male genital odor is an issue,then female genital odor is a big deal. The vagina is actually not built to smell like lavender just the way Asians are not built for sprinting  but then there is Yoshihide Kiryu. The smell of the vagina at any time might be a good indication of what is going on in the female body. It’s only when the female genital odor is accompanied  by itching, irritation or discharge that there should be any worries. However, In the world today, having a lavender smelling female genital is a plus. Female genital odor can be eliminated , once the major cause is known. 


CAUSES OF FEMALE GENITAL ODOR

Female genital odor is  mainly due to infections and diseases, chemical imbalances, foreign objects or physical activity. 
1.Vaginal Infections  such as Bacterial vaginosis, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID),Poor hygiene, Retained or forgotten tampon, Trichomoniasis, Yeast infection (vaginal) and diseases such as Cervical cancer, Rectovaginal fistula ,Vaginal cancer lead to a funky, nasty, repugnant  and persistent vaginal odor. This is usually accompanied with other symptoms and the vaginal odor is usually very sudden and distinct.

2.Chemical imbalances caused by the disturbance of the  microaerophilic bacteria of the vaginal flora can lead to a bacteria build up vaginal thereby producing an odor.  Activities like swimming in chlorinated water, use of scented harsh soap chemicals to wash the vagina or harsh detergents to wash the underwear , wearing air tight underwears to bed at night and using body lotions on the vagina would in most cases result in a change in vagina pH and result in an odor. Pregnancy would also cause the female genital to produce a different odor

3. Foreign objects , mostly tampons are sometimes retained in a vagina resulting in smell. Use of sex toys, some kinds of lube , or eating some kinds of diets (extremely spicy foods) might also result in the vagina smelling foul.  Some Nutritional supplements have  also been proven to cause vaginal odor when taken.

To get rid of the female genital odor. You would have to
1. Take your bath regularly with cold or mildly warm water, paying attention to your inner thighs and your vaginal lips  especially if you don’t have thigh gap. Don’t wash the female genitals with bathing soap or creams not specifically made for the female genital. Use a female genital washing system to wash the vagina.
2. Wear airy underwear to allow the pussy breathe , allowing a flow of hair in that region.
3. Take mint flavored  liquid chlorophyll  especially during menstration and wash your vagina after urinating with water. A lot of ladies swear by Nature's Way Chlorofresh, Liquid Chlorophyll, Natural Mint
4. Douching is mostly said to affect the chemical balance of the vagina and so is greatly discouraged.
5. Use a mixture of Tea Tree Oil,  and water on your vagina to help clean out bacteria and fungus which can cause female genital odor
6. Soak your body in Raw Organic Apple Cider Vinegarweekly. Apple cider is a very good antiseptic that can help the body rid toxins and bacteria causing vaginal odor.
7.      Shave the pubes off, use a Bikini Shaper & Trimmer, don't be deceived by the so called feminists, it is always better hairless.
8.       Wash immediately after sex, paying a lot of attention to the vagina.    ( this is assuming you actually used it during sex).
9. If  vaginal odor persists then contact a doctor .

According to the vaginal monologues
My vagina doesn't need to be cleaned up. It smells good already. Don't try to decorate. Don't believe him when he tells you it smells like rose petals when it's supposed to smell like pussy. That's what they're doing -- trying to clean it up, make it smell like bathroom spray or a garden. All those douche sprays -- floral, berry, rain. I don't want my pussy to smell like rain. All cleaned up like washing a fish after you cook it. I want to taste the fish. That's why I ordered it.

But you know these monologues were written by single frustrated women and read and narrated by them too, if you are in doubt whether to make your vaginal smell good, then ask yourself. What would Kate upton do?

Sunday 10 November 2013

Foods that Whiten Your Teeth

foods that whiten your teeth
There are a number of foods that whiten your teeth aside filling your stomach. These foods are  guaranteed to quickly lighten  up your smile .



1. Oil (sesame oil or virgin coconut oil) 


Oil, or all the more particularly, oil pulling, is when oil is utilized for washing, not cooking. Sesame oil or virgin coconut oil is gargled around inside the mouth and afterward spat out fifteen minutes later. As the substance is overwhelmingly "pulled" here and there and then here again between your teeth, the mucous layers inside your mouth retain supplements from it. 

Sesame oil has omega-3 greasy acids, iron, calcium, and vitamins A, B and E; while virgin coconut oil has antibacterial properties that push healthier gums and cavity  free teeth. Just make a point not to swallow any of the saliva that will accumulate as you rinse. 

                              FOODS THAT  MAKE YOU HORNY

2. Strawberries

foods that whiten your teeth
Malic acid is a natural astringent that acts as a bleaching agent, and it is present in most commercially available tooth-whitening products. Strawberries are filled with this key ingredient, which will whiten your teeth naturally, so make sure to add them to your basket on your next trip to the farmer’s market. The vitamin C in strawberries also aids in removing plaque.


foods that whiten your teeth3. Apples


Apples also contain high levels of malic acid. The act of biting and chewing on this crunchy fruit gently scrubs away debris, stains, and bacteria from your mouth.


4. Celery

foods that whiten your teeth


Say goodbye to tooth stains as you snack on that piece of celery during your break! The fibrous cellulose act as a natural toothbrush, while the high water content stimulates saliva production, your natural mouth cleanser.
foods that whiten your teeth
RELATED POST: WHITEN YOUR TEETH

5. Carrots


Chewing on these rabbit favorites raw will increase the amount of saliva in your mouth, cleaning it further. The vitamin A in carrots is good, not just for your eyesight, but helps strengthen tooth enamel as well.


6. Broccoli

foods that whiten your teeth


When eaten raw, this vegetable gently abrades tooth surfaces, which removes unsightly stains. The iron found in broccoli protects tooth enamel by coating it with an invisible barrier that keeps cavity-causing acids away.


7. Cheese

foods that whiten your teeth



Being devoid of color, most cheeses will not stain teeth. They also contain calcium and phosphorus, which help strengthen teeth and gums through re-mineralization. Those properties also help in insulating teeth from harmful acids in the mouth.

RELATED POST: FOODS THAT MAKE YOU DUMB

8. Water

foods that whiten your teeth


Drinking water helps you stay hydrated and prevents stains from forming on your teeth. Swish it in your mouth after eating or drinking pigment-rich foods and beverages to keep your smile white and bright. Water also reduces your mouth’s overall acidity, lessening the likelihood of damaging your tooth enamel. Just make sure you stick to flat water, as the sparkling variety increases the chances of eroding tooth surfaces.


9. Pineapple


foods that whiten your teethPineapple contains an enzyme called bromelain, which is a natural stain remover that also helps separate plaque from the surface of your teeth. This prevents tooth erosion and discourages cavities from forming, resulting in healthier and whiter teeth.

RELATED POST: FOOD THAT MAKE YOUR BUTT BIGGER

10. Shiitake Mushrooms

foods that whiten your teeth


This fungi is filled with lentinan, a type of sugar that does not promote tooth decay, but instead curbs its formation by preventing plaque-building bacteria from proliferating in your mouth.

11. Salmon

foods that whiten your teeth


The vitamin D found in salmon helps the body absorb calcium and phosphorus, nutrients that strengthen your teeth and contribute to a beautiful smile.


12. Basil

foods that whiten your teeth


As a natural antibiotic, this herb has bacteria-inhibiting properties that prevent the formation of cavities.


13. Onions and Garlic


The key is in eating these raw. Doing so releases bacteria-reducing compounds called thiosulfinates and thiosulfonates, promoting healthier teeth by reducing the production of plaque. Being colorless, these foods will also not stain teeth.
foods that whiten your teeth

Wednesday 6 November 2013

Porn Sex Vs Real Safe Sex

PORN Sex vs REAL SAFE SEX


safe sex ,porn sexFor those addicted to porn and fantasizing about having a partner carry out all their porn inspired fetishes.Porn is different from safe sex in real life. Let’s find out how?
1.       Porn stars penises are 6- 9 inches long, dangling in between their feets and needing lots of medication to keep it up and keep it strong, civilian penises are 5 to 7 inches. There are however well proven male genital enlargement steps to party like a porn star.






safe sex ,porn sex
I Know you think my wee wee is small but i am more famous than you
and i'm doing nothing

2.       Porn stars have very little pubic hair but in real life 65% of men and 85% of women are hairy down there and most likely have some kind of genital odor.
safe sex ,porn sex
Now this is the real deal.
.       Female porn star privates tend to have some certain kind of look but in the real world, vaginas come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
      For arousal, real people need 10 to 12 minutes before they are fully ready to jump off the cliff in real safe sex but for porn stars , they seem to immediately get the rifles ready for battle without any hesitation or time lost, thanks to the film editors.
     In porn sex, porn stars can hump for days, because it is robotic, emotionless and a show, but in real life sex, Men bust a nut within a average of 3 Minutes
    In Porn, Female Porn Stars tend to have Orgasms Only through penetration, in Real life. 7% of Women don’t. (Do you still wonder why Some women are so  grumpy).
         Unlike Porn Stars only 11.5% of Women have had a Same Sex experience   Only 40% of women have tried Anal (this percentage is Still Pretty Much Outrageous)


              Only 22% of People Say they would take a hot load in the face.
            Only 30% would actually Swallow. Good girls don’t swallow.
1          The Portion of women who have been in a threesomes is less than 20%
1          Only 6% of Women have ever ejaculated.
1         Only 40% of Women have tried light bondage.
   And  all these Statistics are Only from People in America.

        Aside from the fact that nobody looks good when they are getting down and  make rhythmic noises and very few people actually talk dirty. This multi-  billion dollar industry present in almost every country in the world is as fictitious as it gets.
     Kbcreative lab was creative enough to represent this little piece of information in a video using food items. Feeling Hungry?





Tuesday 5 November 2013

Signs of Infidelity

infidelity and adulterySigns of Infidelity.
Adultery and Infidelity need no introduction. Infidelity can be classified into four groups.
1. Physical Infidelity: When one partner physically engages in intimate activities with  another person  or group of people.
2. Emotional Infidelity: When one partner  becomes emotionally attached to  another outside the relationship. This is usually the most dangerous and commonest form of infidelity. A typical example of this is when a man becomes addicted to porn to the detriment of his relationship with his partner or gives more attention to  a co-worker much more than his or her partner  .
3. Cheating:   This is when one partner occasionally or constantly flaunts the rules of the relationship by engaging in meaningless sex with other people  outside the relationship. There are a lot of reasons why cheaters cheat but none of it is worth this post or worth forgiving.  Cheaters always get the short end of the stick in the wrong run except of course, they get a baby and a 2 million dollar home with pledged 18 years child support.

4. Affair:  This is the group you watch in a lifetime movie, it involves a particular person with which a  person cheats with and builds a life around. This letter from a mistress would put it in a better perspective. This kind of infidelity might even go on for years until it is eventually discovered.

Whatever group infidelity falls in, the signs of infidelity are usually the same for all groups. Here are signs you have to watch out for, if you need to know whether your partner is cheating. Just because you think your partner is cheating, doesn't mean that they are but you can always double check.

RELATED POST:  HOW TO HANDLE INFIDELITY AND ADULTERY IN MARRIAGE

1. Laptop and Phone Behavior: It’s okay if you don’t know the passwords to your partner’s laptop or phone , but it is not okay if they act weird whenever you come close to these gadgets. Illicit relationships these days are carried out using the internet and the phone as against letters in the 1940s which led to the oldest divorce ever. The text messages, phone bills , caller history to a particular person are areas where you can easily detect infidelity. Having a clean browser history after a long online experience means your partner is cheating or watching porn.

http://elijahforce.blogspot.com/2013/11/signs-of-infidelity.html
OMG! I hope i cleared my browser History or did i go incognito.
2. Changes in Clothes and Underwears: If a guy suddenly picks interest in eradicating male genital odor or begins to wear nice boxers and briefs which he normally wouldn’t do, then that may be a tell-tale sign, he is cheating. If anyone in a relationship suddenly starts paying so  much  attention to how they look, smell  etc, then there is obviously someone to impress. This is actually not an excuse to ensure your partner is a dirty cloth- heaping slob.
3. Changes in Habit and Less sex: Most people are very bad at multitasking , so there would definitely be  a change in habit when someone is cheating. Infidelity is like being ambidextrous, only a few people can do it. Loving and caring for two people at the same time in the same way can only be done by a select few, who have the brain power to see it through. Chances are your partner doesn’t and they would change in behavior towards their significant other and that includes less motivation for sex. 
http://elijahforce.blogspot.com/2013/11/signs-of-infidelity.html
He is either playing Angry Birds or Texting his Mom
4. Family History: This is the most significant sign. Anyone who has lived with or been with parents or family members who have practiced infidelity has a greater chance of doing it on their own partners. They may have hated it and vowed not to do it, but except they get to the root cause of why that family member did it and ensure that they have been able to tackle that same cause in their own lives instead of pointing accusing fingers, then they would most likely fall into that ditch.

If you eventually have enough proof that your partner is cheating, here  is how to handle a cheater.

Thursday 31 October 2013

Start a Business: Beginner's Guide.

If your goal is to start a small online business that replaces and exceeds your current income this may be the most important article you read this year.

Brash, huh?

Here’s the deal: I’ve been working online full time for almost 10 years, since age 19. I’ve had a lot of failures and a lot of successes.

There is no better way to learn how to succeed than to learn from someone who has already done it.

Tip #1: Focus On What’s Important

What’s important? Action.
In the beginning, just get started. Don’t get too caught up in details that don’t matter.
Dealing with the paperwork, business cards, and other ancillaries isn’t absolutely necessary.
It’s an online business for a reason. Save the time, paper, and money and don’t get business cards.
If you happen to meet someone who wants to know more about you or wants to visit your site ask for their e-mail address and actively follow up with them.
Handing out business cards is passive, and even more than that, ineffective.
Other paperwork a lot of people get caught up in is registering a corporation or other business entity. That will be important eventually. But you can (in the US anyway) start a business in your own name with very minimal paperwork (a simple Doing Business As form) and cost.Consult a tax advisor for specific insights.

start a business , focus
The most important thing right now is bikini waxing,

Tip #2: Invest In Education

Whatever business you want to start, be it blogging, eBay sales, information product selling, affiliate marketing, or any one of the countless other ways to make money online, there are hords of people who have done it before you.
Sometimes those people will have written about what they did to succeed. In those cases, if their business aligns with what you want to do, don’t be afraid to invest money into their products.
Personally, I have easily spent upwards of $40,000 on non-University education. That includes buying eBooks, print books, seminars, coaching, membership sites, you name it.
I want a refund of my college fees though
As a general rule, the most important skill you can learn, no matter what business you’re starting, is marketing. I don’t make a distinction between online and offline marketing. Once you learn marketing you can use it anywhere, with a few tweaks of course.
I liken it to learning computer programming. The language you learn isn’t as important as the logic behind it. You can adapt to any language.

Tip #3: Ask For Help

If you look closely, you would realize, the worst
enemy of the man on the ladder is the one
at the top.
If you’re a bit introverted like me you might be shy about asking for help.
Don’t let that be a barrier to your success.
In other words, feel the fear and do it anyway.
You will deal with rejection. Many people won’t respond to your e-mails, phone calls, or tweets.
But you know what? It doesn’t matter.
Starting a business isn’t supposed to be easy. That’s the filter.
I promise you, if you talk to enough people, you will get the help you need. I’ve been quite surprised by just how accessible some people I was initially afraid to contact are.
Bonus hint: I’ve had greater success connecting with ultra successful people than those who are just ultra successful in their heads. :)
The key to getting a response is to send very short, very succinct e-mails. Practice the http://five.sentenc.es rule. Keep your e-mail to five sentences and make it clear what you’re asking.

Tip #4: Participate In The Community

Whatever niche you’re in there is a community.
For example, back in the days when I used to sell on eBay, I hung out on a few eBay message boards. I helped people where I could and I got help where I needed.
As an added bonus, when I decided to start selling eBay how to products (I haven’t sold them for over 5 years), guess who helped me launch that business? The same community that I had participated in freely for over a year.
These days, whichever community you should be a part of is larger and more easily accessible. Take advantage of that.

Tip #5: Don’t Quit Your Day Job

Your ultimate goal may be to quit your job, but don’t jump the gun.
You will find tons of stories of people who quit their jobs before they had their businesses going, but there’s a reason for that.
People who failed furiously because they didn’t have an income to support themselves in the lean business startup phase don’t usually write about it. And because they don’t write about their failures, you never hear about them.
I want you to quit your job as much as you want to quit your job, but I don’t want you to do it before it’s time.
 RELATED POST: WAYS TO QUIT YOUR JOB

Karol Gajda is a lifelong entrepreneur who blogs about Freedom, Health, Travel, and Life at RidiculouslyExtraordinary.com. He (yes! he is a man) has an excellent guidebook, How To Live Anywhere.

Wednesday 30 October 2013

Foods that Bring Good Luck

Foods that  bring good luck
foods that bring good luck
You must have heard the saying that “ you are what you eat”. This is not only true health wise but also in terms of favour, good luck and good will. It is believed that certain foods help turn the winds in your favour and are eaten   especially when the new year arrives to guarantee good luck all through out the year. Some of these foods are not eaten but are instead smashed or put on the door post. These beliefs are held all across the world. Here are some foods that are believed to bring good luck. 

1.       Pork: 


   pork  {pig meat} is the most common food believed to bring good luck. The pig is fat, round and mostly obese and gives birth to dozens of piglets at once. Although some of them devour their piglets immediately after birth . something dogs hardly do. Pigs also produce lots of oil and a host of fattening meat which surely makes them signify good luck. Because nothing says good luck more than having love handles and a food baby. Pigs route forward with their noses and cannot look up into the sky, which means that in what ever situation they find themselves, they move forward, when in doubt, move forward, when being chased by a predator right in front of you, you also move forward.  Unfortunately some muslims around the word stay off pork for religious reasons and Christians believe in looking up to heaven when they have problems. Half of Hindus too don’t even eat egg not to speak of meat. Any wonder why there is so much bad luck in the world.
      

2.       Ring shaped foods: 

doughnut good luck

    Doughnuts especially,are believed to keep the circle going and making good things come in full circle, no end no beginning. Ironically, a life in which you are running in circles is a life headed to nowhere, but if you ever find yourself lost in the woods, don’t panic, bring out that doughnut( which you must have been carrying ) and eat it and watch yourself go round in circles in the woods in good luck.

3.        Fish and lentils: 

fish goodluck

    Fish is also a food that brings good luck, as they swim in packs  and have scales which symbolizes money. Lentil symbolizes money too. A combination of lentil and smoked fish  would definitely have you winning the lottery, as you would be overwhelmed with good luck and good tidings, except of course, the fish is smoked with his pin-like bones and one of those razor shaped bones happen to get stuck in your throat. Now that’s good luck.

4.        Black eyed peas and grapes: 

black eyed peas good luck

   These foods would send good luck your way  like a heat seeking missile.  Apart from the fact that they taste good,  they literally look like the ancient cowries used as money in Africa.  Although it is not really clear if they would attract those same cowries or they would attract paper bills. We are guessing the former which you would use as  collectibles  and make some paper bills for your future generation in the year 3055, when your bones must have turned to dust and a Chinese factory must have been built on your grave  with part of your dust used to set the foundation concrete. But the good thing is that these foods would always bring you good luck.

5.       Pomegranate:

pomegranate good luck

    The national fruit of Armenia is also known to bring prosperity and good luck. They  would not stop until it tracks you down and decapitate you with good luck, this must be what kim kardashian took after making her sextape. Some believe in smashing it on the floor and watch the red blood like color stain your walls and floor and make your room look like a crime scene, while others just hang it on the walls.

If you need good luck, big breaks and prosperity, combine all these foods that bring good luck and eat them on a balcony overlooking a metropolitan area ,naked.



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